tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post1999348646948660979..comments2023-10-29T08:20:47.307-07:00Comments on Ami's Star Song: Aftershocks!Ami Starsonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-18034577885266840232013-01-11T07:24:21.835-08:002013-01-11T07:24:21.835-08:00This is a very good comparison and one I am keepin...This is a very good comparison and one I am keeping in mind. We are away for a few days and it is interesting how our changed dynamic is beginning to work even minus spankings. Learning to completely trust(obey) someone without argument takes a great deal of willpower. It poses some interesting questions I'd like to explore further and probably will when we return. It's certainly opened my eyes. <br /><br />Hugs, AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-23828883308965163112013-01-11T07:16:20.992-08:002013-01-11T07:16:20.992-08:00We're away at the moment but I'll catch up...We're away at the moment but I'll catch up with everything when we get back at the weekend. I'm so glad you are doing okay. And I'm really glad your husband is a real fireman! Brilliant! You be sure to keep up the good work! I'll be posting when I get back. Hugs, AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-52157048346380918292013-01-10T11:06:07.389-08:002013-01-10T11:06:07.389-08:00I somehow just saw your reply!! I was coming to ch...I somehow just saw your reply!! I was coming to check in you and see how you've been doing. <br /><br />Really talking is hard. It's so hard to start. Since we've started, we are doing really well at it though. Really well. I'm so glad he helped! I mean he's always been great. Always. But since we began ttwd, and especially since our reset on New Years, he's just been amazing. <br /><br />He is!! He's on two different departments. One at his work and one locally for volunteer :) I agree! They are!! <br />elle :)https://www.blogger.com/profile/15832857681848198913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-15987262665584157982013-01-09T23:32:02.058-08:002013-01-09T23:32:02.058-08:00When you first began cooking, I'm sure there w...When you first began cooking, I'm sure there was a recipe to follow each time something special was on the menu. Making a list and gather your ingredients to make sure you had everything you needed was important. If something needed to be cooked for several hours, I'm sure you wouldn't take it out after a few minutes and serve it. The was a process and a plan to follow so that it could be savored and enjoyed. <br />Where your DD lifestyle is involved, have a recipe. Learn what ingredients you need. And know that it takes time and patience.MrBBSpankerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13157302499211539690noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-65072061860428562072013-01-08T07:33:20.219-08:002013-01-08T07:33:20.219-08:00Hi Grace and thank you for stopping by. I can'...Hi Grace and thank you for stopping by. I can't tell you how good it is to find I have so many friends willing to share and to help me during these times. Unfortunately my hair is turning grey now (under the blonde dye!) but luckily the youth remains inside! The communication is definitely the most tricky bit. You just don't realise that you talk to each other, but you often don't communicate. I don't ever want to get into this situation again, believe me! And yet, when I look around me, it's surprising how many people lose the art of communication. You have to work at it! Hugs, AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-46844609755984263402013-01-07T15:11:49.662-08:002013-01-07T15:11:49.662-08:00I just found your blog and this was the first post...I just found your blog and this was the first post I've read. And what a post it is! I could relate to the over analyzing and being too harsh on yourself and Michael has at times ended it, just like your Starman did. Sometimes the roads are bumpy on this journey, but that doesn't mean that it's not worthwhile. The two of you will find your way, as the rest of us are trying to do as well. Communication is so important, and it's an area that most of us need some work in. I liked the poem you shared too, a lot of truth in there, though hopefully I have awhile yet before my hair turns grey. ;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-62607653256564555922013-01-07T12:28:47.279-08:002013-01-07T12:28:47.279-08:00Hi Susie, All I can say is don't be like me a...Hi Susie, All I can say is don't be like me and over-analyse a situation. I promise I won't take any more side trails! Many hugs, AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-34588664023305732072013-01-07T12:27:23.111-08:002013-01-07T12:27:23.111-08:00Hi Roz, Yes it was rough, but it is behind us now...Hi Roz, Yes it was rough, but it is behind us now. You're right, Starman is a very loving and gentle man. I think that's why this is all such a shock to his system. All I can do is practise being submissive and try to prove to him that I want to be better. We're already feeling much more 'loving' towards each other. Many hugs, AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-74097712857634973802013-01-07T12:24:44.020-08:002013-01-07T12:24:44.020-08:00Hi Jan and many thanks for your good wishes. It i...Hi Jan and many thanks for your good wishes. It is tough at the beginning isn't it? Slowly but surely is best I think. Hugs, AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-38220412397616534612013-01-07T12:23:28.749-08:002013-01-07T12:23:28.749-08:00Thanks Cat, I'll take all the hugs and prayers...Thanks Cat, I'll take all the hugs and prayers I can get. "You two are communicating not talking at each other but to each other" I like that very much. Thank you friend! xx<br /><br />PS How do you get these little pictures next to your 'names'? PS2 I think I clicked on the wrong 'gadget' in blogger because it lists all my friends' blogs at the bottom of this lot of comments instead of at the right hand side!<br /><br />Many hugs, AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-44162567342552653192013-01-07T12:20:14.966-08:002013-01-07T12:20:14.966-08:00Hello Emi, and I can't agree more with how dif...Hello Emi, and I can't agree more with how difficult it can be to communicate. Scary too when things start coming out. But I'm glad we had our discussions - it's helped us very much. I think perhaps our marriage wouldn't have done too well otherwise, and now we feel so much better. You're never too old or too young to speak with the heart. Many hugs, AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-51155724109724155252013-01-07T12:17:43.508-08:002013-01-07T12:17:43.508-08:00You know Elle, I think that really talking, and I ...You know Elle, I think that really talking, and I mean that in capitals REALLY TALKING, is the hardest thing we have to do. Why it should take an episode like this for me to realise this fact I don't know. Your husband is a star for writing me the way he did! I can't stop telling you how much it helped us. <br /><br />Is he really a fireman? Mine works with the fire department in a voluntary capacity to visit the homes of the elderly and house-bound to make sure they have safety devices like smoke alarms in their homes. Some of it is heart-wrenching when you see how they live. Firemen are the best!<br /><br />Hugs, AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-55130249851298840642013-01-07T12:13:08.201-08:002013-01-07T12:13:08.201-08:00Thank you Lillie. I just read your recent post an...Thank you Lillie. I just read your recent post and I want to tell you that you ALWAYS write to eloquently. Reading your posts is such a pleasure. And so very helpful to a newbie like me. I have read your letter to Mick several times - and that is very good for me too. You have come a long way. I only hope we can emulate you and Ian, even halfway! Many hugs, AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-48886863810816807642013-01-07T12:10:53.718-08:002013-01-07T12:10:53.718-08:00Wow June! Year 2! Thank you so much for all your...Wow June! Year 2! Thank you so much for all your kind comments and help - both you and Ward. I'm very glad we have broken through the communication barrier. It was soooo difficult, but well worth it. Many hugs, AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-56648464170466537202013-01-07T12:08:50.950-08:002013-01-07T12:08:50.950-08:00I will Willie. You're a great friend to have ...I will Willie. You're a great friend to have and thanks so much for your supportive emails. Keep them coming! Many hugs, AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-755426797085824422013-01-07T12:08:04.166-08:002013-01-07T12:08:04.166-08:00Hi Sunny! I am feeling much better today. Just s...Hi Sunny! I am feeling much better today. Just started back to work although I have to admit to enjoying the long break over Christmas. I am going to do my best to settle down and take each day as it comes. At least we are now on the same wavelength. Hugs, AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-54304744776745693982013-01-07T12:04:11.571-08:002013-01-07T12:04:11.571-08:00Hi Rose! Yes, it was very, very awful. I felt as...Hi Rose! Yes, it was very, very awful. I felt as if not only my husband hated me, but my children as well, for the ordeal I must have put them through. I'll never know how they stayed with me, but they did and for some reason I must have changed or started to change, of my own volition. Maybe the angels decided enough was enough. Who knows! Now with the help of all of you I will slow down and accept that Starman will decide the pace. Not being very submissive (and yes, I did at the start think I was very submissive - I've changed my mind on that!) is going to be tough for me as I will probably keep trying to lead. <br /><br />Thank you so much for all your help and support Rose.<br /><br />Hugs, AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-40886726424972953802013-01-07T11:58:09.987-08:002013-01-07T11:58:09.987-08:00Mr BB - thank you for your continued support! Whe...Mr BB - thank you for your continued support! When we learn something new we should always listen to the voice of experience. The trouble is that I'm one of these women that tend to rush at everything. Even if it's doing housework, or changing the linen, or doing the laundry - I do it as speedily as if my life depended on it. The only thing I take my time over is cooking, because that is something that cannot be rushed! And I openly admit that the culinary experience is on-going for me. I especially like to see men savour the first mouthful of a special treat, that roll of the eyes, that contented breath, that smile as it hits the taste buds. I just got Antonio Carluccio's latest cookery book, (In case you haven't heard of him, he's a famous Italian chef.) and I can't wait to get started on some of his recipes. But it's taken me a lifetime of cooking to be able to understand the finer points of a zabaglione with bitter chocolate sauce, or a risotto con funghi. (Any men out there? I love to cook for men!) (Okay Starman, calm down!) (Giggles)<br /><br />What I'm saying is that Starman is adamant we start afresh with no resentments, regrets or guilt. But he's equally adamant that he needs to go slowly. So I know I must match my footsteps to his. And if those of you who have been doing this thing we do far longer than us are right, we will be okay. I really don't know why I am so anxious to rush at it. I'm sure many wives would really rather not be spanked. I just don't understand my own feelings. It's just as if all of a sudden I've found myself. I can't express how close I feel to my husband when I am across his knees - sorry, but it makes me happy even if I know it's going to hurt. <br /><br />I look forward to the next six weeks and the next six months!<br /><br />Hugs, AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-86384904817307467452013-01-07T04:03:06.822-08:002013-01-07T04:03:06.822-08:00I love how Starman took you in hand and ended the ...I love how Starman took you in hand and ended the over-reflection for you. LOL...then just like a man to head you towards making breakfast! <br /><br />This is all going to be okay Ami. I know the path is so hard to walk, just remember you are doing it together and when you feel like you're starting to take a side trail, stop dead in your tracks and go back to him. <br /><br />Hugs!Susiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00511114118020790717noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-36272436720662714072013-01-07T03:30:45.187-08:002013-01-07T03:30:45.187-08:00HI Ami, I'm sorry you had a rough time, but so...HI Ami, I'm sorry you had a rough time, but so glad to hear you reconnected. You are on your way to working out what ttwd means for you. Starman is right. It has to work for you, not you work for it.<br /> <br />He sounds so loving and caring and I too hope you heard him about the past being the past and that you are forgiven. <br /><br />So glad you are communicating. Keep those communication lines open.<br /><br />Hugs<br />RozRozhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14326826956049047973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-10174526346237240812013-01-07T00:42:27.630-08:002013-01-07T00:42:27.630-08:00Hi Ami, I'm sorry that you had a rough night b...Hi Ami, I'm sorry that you had a rough night but it seems that you two are much more on track now, just take your time. Every couple does ttwd differently and it seems like you are on the way now. good luck, We too are newbies and are feeling our way, just keep talking, love Jan.xJannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-59519035768198930332013-01-06T19:30:22.397-08:002013-01-06T19:30:22.397-08:00Awww Ami - Things are indeed looking up. Really ma...Awww Ami - Things are indeed looking up. Really made me smile when I read "Now then Ami. This stops here and now." "It's in the past. You are forgiven. There is no resentment. There is no ill-feeling. There must be no guilt. Do you understand?" I hope you really listened to those words! <br /><br />Your Starman's comment regarding maintenance "It has to work for us, not us for it." relates to all of TTWD. If two D's work rather than four, if there are stern warnings rather than spanking, if the only spanking is maintenance and if all of that brings you closer? Then that's your version of TTWD and what works for YOUR marriage!<br /><br />You two are communicating not talking at each other but to each other. You are listening not just hearing in one ear while planning your next point.<br /><br />You have a wonderful husband and Starman has a wonderful wife, you both need to remember the good qualities of yourselves not just each other.<br /><br />Good luck to both of you on your journey. Sending hugs and prayers your way.<br /><br />Blessings,<br />CatCathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14266606975978680188noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-84934706372305592172013-01-06T17:58:59.901-08:002013-01-06T17:58:59.901-08:00We have been at this only a little more then a yea...We have been at this only a little more then a year and it's still a struggle at times. I feel like we are just getting into the thick of it now with my Husband opening up to some of his feelings about it all.<br /><br />It's a long journey - that is for sure. It sounds like you are at least communicating, even if it's sometimes things you don't want to hear from him. At the very least, think of taking baby steps with things and I'm sure little by little some things may just fall into place on their own. Sometimes though, I understand how hard it is to wait on those baby steps! <br />I look forward to reading more in the future form you two!<br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-50497382854013241662013-01-06T13:51:09.290-08:002013-01-06T13:51:09.290-08:00"It has to work for us, not us for it." ..."It has to work for us, not us for it." That's the best line. My wonderful fireman said that to me in almost the same words last night during a really long communication session. We didn't even realize we'd been talking so long and all of a sudden it was almost 1 am. <br /><br />He made me teary - in a very good way in his reply to you. :) <br /><br />So glad you're reconnected to starman! <br /><br />Love & hugs, <br />Elle elle :)https://www.blogger.com/profile/15832857681848198913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-36122949975651761792013-01-06T11:49:42.804-08:002013-01-06T11:49:42.804-08:00You are on your way, my dear...
Starman sounds lik...You are on your way, my dear...<br />Starman sounds like a loving, caring husband. Loved the part about the morning.....ahhhhhh - they can melt our hearts so easily when they want to.<br />hugs<br />lillieAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com