tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post3614427274318403931..comments2023-10-29T08:20:47.307-07:00Comments on Ami's Star Song: The View from the Back - a Tale of Two Spankings Ami Starsonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-2248547851372844282013-10-16T06:16:26.000-07:002013-10-16T06:16:26.000-07:00Honestly I don't know what more I can share he...Honestly I don't know what more I can share here than what you have already heard. You know I am right beside you looking at the tree. *wink*. I'll just reiterate, that sometimes the biggest stumbling blocks transform into an amazing building block. Slow and steady wins the race and all that jazz.<br /><br />Will there be more difficult times again? You can count on it. Having said that, each time the feeling of 'stopping', throwing in the towel, gets weaker and weaker. It doesn't become your 'go to' reaction anymore. That is progress. Remember that!<br /><br />Hugs<br />williewilliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01907855123777628267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-52552444762358870902013-10-16T04:23:35.736-07:002013-10-16T04:23:35.736-07:00I used up all my time reading...lol...but it was a...I used up all my time reading...lol...but it was a good read. <br /><br />The hard conversations are so hard Ami. I know it, but in those moments of honesty we too have learned a whole lot about each other. We start to understand some of the deepest hurts and both work to change some. It sounds like you two are doing something similar.Susiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00511114118020790717noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-79503105106207903892013-10-16T03:46:22.321-07:002013-10-16T03:46:22.321-07:00Thank you Terps! They are doing very well now.
T...Thank you Terps! They are doing very well now.<br /><br />To be truthful, it was the honesty we shared in our communication before the second spanking that hurt the most, and was the most difficult, and as I said, it is early days yet, but things seem to have improved all round.<br /><br />Hugs<br /><br />AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-42977470692995537292013-10-16T03:43:37.049-07:002013-10-16T03:43:37.049-07:00Thanks Jan. I am happy to report that daughter an...Thanks Jan. I am happy to report that daughter and family are now doing great.<br /><br />I don't know about husbands being demonstrative. Everyone else's husbands seem to be very demonstrative compared with mine! But now at least he knows how I feel about the state of affairs, and hopefully he will put in a little more effort! Even if I have to nudge him from time to time!<br /><br />Laughed about your air-con! We were so cold we had to turn ours off and turn the heating up! To the north, in Sweden, they were getting their first snows of the season!<br /><br />Hugs<br /><br />AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-24614865645464406372013-10-16T03:39:24.545-07:002013-10-16T03:39:24.545-07:00Thanks Minelle!
That is exactly why I had to sh...Thanks Minelle! <br /><br />That is exactly why I had to shut the toilet lid in that first spanking - the last place I wanted my head was down a vacuum operated toilet!<br /><br />I shall always remember Tom with gratitude. You are right, he was very perceptive.<br /><br />The second spanking was important - but forget belts - bury them all at midnight!<br /><br />Hugs<br /><br />AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-39582273913552974012013-10-16T03:36:28.998-07:002013-10-16T03:36:28.998-07:00Hi Elis! We are all different and I know we shoul...Hi Elis! We are all different and I know we shouldn't blame our men if they find it difficult to show affection openly, but there are times when I think we 'need' that show of affection. <br /><br />Perhaps one of the important things for us is not to let ourselves get so worn down and exhausted in future, and that makes logical and good-tempered communication difficult.<br /><br />Hugs<br /><br />AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-53262528144402266482013-10-15T18:04:10.869-07:002013-10-15T18:04:10.869-07:00Yes things are much better. We did go through some...Yes things are much better. We did go through some very upsetting family stuff (can't go into it here really) but all is well. I am thankful to be back. I missed everyone very much!!! (((hugs))) saraAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-4498277982467401382013-10-15T09:54:32.294-07:002013-10-15T09:54:32.294-07:00Aw Clara, thank you for your comments. It is very...Aw Clara, thank you for your comments. It is very difficult to change the "habits of a lifetime!" I think we both feel "cleansed" after the meaningful conversation we had. The storm clouds had been gathering for a very long time, and it needed to rain and rain hard! We both feel lighter and happier now, and are determined to initiate some changes. <br /><br />You are a granny too? Wonderful! Yes, they are both doing well at long last. They were here all day today making Christmas cakes, and now they have gone home, I am in a state of exhaustion!<br /><br />Many hugs<br /><br />AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-60687066352117804202013-10-15T09:49:28.932-07:002013-10-15T09:49:28.932-07:00Thank you Tricia!
It was an emotional holiday, bu...Thank you Tricia!<br /><br />It was an emotional holiday, but we had lots of fun too, and the importance of communication has been reinforced. In a way, we have both now been catapulted forwards yet again.<br /><br />Hugs<br /><br />AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-75503232906231729032013-10-15T09:47:03.057-07:002013-10-15T09:47:03.057-07:00The shakeup did us good! It was like racing towar...The shakeup did us good! It was like racing towards each other head on like locomotives, but stopping before we crashed, and considering the consequences. We now know we never want to crash, but we need to work on ensuring the track is well-maintained. <br /><br />Both Tom and Steven were very kind-hearted men, and Tom certainly gave me some good advice!<br /><br />Hugs<br /><br />Ami Ami Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-88666555001948004912013-10-14T09:54:42.617-07:002013-10-14T09:54:42.617-07:00Hello good sir, and welcome! I should love to sto...Hello good sir, and welcome! I should love to stop by your blog and promise to do so, only my blogger is misbehaving at the moment, my list of blogs I follow has all but vanished, and I am in the process of having a complete reorganisation - so just bare with me for the time being please. I am so glad we have an HOH who is happy to contribute. We have very few of you these days, and my Dan runs for the hills when I mention reading any of the bogs including mine, so you are in great need here, for both your opinions and your advice!<br /><br />I think that you can never stop learning how to improve your marriage. Of course, there are some people who falter and call it a day at the first hurdle, but we have always tried to meet problems head on. It hurts at times, and to be absolutely truthful is so very difficult. <br /><br />Some of our best conversations take place with me staring at the floorboards, and I simply don't have the answer to why we are not always able to look each other in the eye and be truthful. I am going to try my best to ask for help a lot more than I have previously. Especially with Christmas coming up on the horizon. I remember well how many meltdowns there were right across Blogland last year!<br /><br />Hugs<br /><br />AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-39486919483956297322013-10-14T09:46:14.199-07:002013-10-14T09:46:14.199-07:00My meltdown had such productive consequences that ...My meltdown had such productive consequences that it has had a very positive effect on our relationship. I shall have to learn to talk instead of to 'bottle up' everything I am feeling. How can I expect Dan to respond positively if I don't tell him things? Maybe we women keep too much buried? I suppose we don't like to make waves, but then all we do is create a tsunami!<br /><br />Hugs<br /><br />AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-29623680500711562392013-10-14T09:42:27.006-07:002013-10-14T09:42:27.006-07:00Hello Sara! How lovely to have you back among us ...Hello Sara! How lovely to have you back among us all! We missed you! I do hope things are better for you now.<br /><br />Our trip was definitely "mostly great". We learned a lot from our heart to heart; and from his hand to my bottom!<br /><br />Hugs<br /><br />AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-70333799417669237242013-10-14T08:13:50.134-07:002013-10-14T08:13:50.134-07:00So glad your grandbaby and daughter are doing well...So glad your grandbaby and daughter are doing well. I picture them smiling and happy. And your account of your playful spanking by the toilet made me laugh. As for the other spanking, it seems you communicated some important feelings and that even if it may have been difficult brought you yet closer together. much hugs to youTerpsichorehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13704408254742966076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-53000770944009466662013-10-13T07:34:20.621-07:002013-10-13T07:34:20.621-07:00Hi Ami, I am so glad to hear that your family are ...Hi Ami, I am so glad to hear that your family are getting there now.<br />I wonder perhaps if it is a generation thing, this lack of demonstrativeness from some of the husbands in blogland. I hope things will improve for you from now on<br />Btw you should have had our cabin. we could have done anything , no one would have heard anything over the noise of the air conditioner!! Mind you, you may have frozen to death if you had were naked whilst doing it<br />love Jan.xx an English Rosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00696976759167193635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-49012825944399395612013-10-12T20:41:04.624-07:002013-10-12T20:41:04.624-07:00I am so happy your daughter and grandson are doing...I am so happy your daughter and grandson are doing well. I sure hope your MIL stays well!<br /><br />That first spanking account was just a hoot. I feel like that is something that would happen to me. I assure you that my head would have been in the toilet.<br /><br />No couple is always perfectly content all the time. It is good to challenge and share our desires. Acceptance of each other doesn't mean we stop trying to grow. <br /><br />Tom is a wise man...love and experience as well as the ability to see through the trees helps. What a generous man to reach out and share his perception.<br /><br />The second spanking was a way of closing the negativity for both of you.<br />Good!<br />Minielle Labraunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16206283897752166320noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-16835626339893681852013-10-12T19:30:41.664-07:002013-10-12T19:30:41.664-07:00Sounds to me like everything is on the mend, the b...Sounds to me like everything is on the mend, the baby, your daughter, and even your relationship. Nick doesn't show emotion or affections (in public) very well either. It varies sometimes I'm fine with it other times, my feelings are hurt. I'm glad things are looking up for you.PKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02050453501744475319noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-7156634394680858772013-10-12T17:57:29.977-07:002013-10-12T17:57:29.977-07:00Ami, it sounds like your holiday was fantastic! Ev...Ami, it sounds like your holiday was fantastic! Even the painful part. Not that you had to experience the rough time but that because of it you were able to get to the point of a deep meaningful conversation and resolution. I think sometimes the longer we have known someone the harder it is to change. On one hand we have the deep desire to please the other person but on the other hand we have years of relating in a certain way and it's so hard to change those ways. I'm so happy and excited for you and Dan that you brought so many hard issues up and that you were able to both feel heard and understood. If your relationship is anything like ours don't be surprised if old habits show through again. But remember also that he heard your heart and that he is willing to keep working on finding a new path. Ami, this is such a beautiful love story! <br /><br />So glad your daughter and grandson are doing better! From one Grandma to another, congratulations. <br /><br />ClaraAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-12215632888705777692013-10-12T13:45:10.665-07:002013-10-12T13:45:10.665-07:00Ami,
So happy to hear your daughter and grandbab...Ami, <br /><br />So happy to hear your daughter and grandbaby are well. <br /><br />Sounds like you had a fun but emotional holiday. Some times it takes what seems like a set back at first to get us back on track for the good. <br /><br />(((hugs))) <br />Tricia Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-88742935320785491882013-10-12T09:14:51.494-07:002013-10-12T09:14:51.494-07:00Isn't it amazing how you can be together with ...Isn't it amazing how you can be together with someone for all that time and still not know all of them. We are strange creatures. <br />I should think it would be very freeing to Dan to let his emotions show, it has to be hard to be bottled up. Hope it continues.<br /><br />Love Tom's analogy. He's a very smart man.Aimless Ramblinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00720714875762344391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-20520906716366942592013-10-12T07:38:58.741-07:002013-10-12T07:38:58.741-07:00Ami,
Good account of your holiday. St. Petersburg...Ami,<br /><br />Good account of your holiday. St. Petersburg sounds really nice, I wish we could travel but with young children that's difficult.<br /><br />You've posted on my wife's blog before, and I've just started my own so we'd love for you to stop by either one and comment if you get the chance!<br /><br />It's weird how vacations so more relationship issues. I know my wife and I had a horrid Labor Day weekend away from the kids over a year ago. Sometimes being around each other so much makes it difficult, and you end of wondering why in the world you were looking forward to the vacation so much. I'm glad you were able to have some really good conversations together and some spankings boot. It's a good reminder that even when others have been married for a longer time than you (we've only been for 7 yrs), they still have issues like this and it takes a lifetime to improve.<br /><br />Anyway, thanks for your account. BlessingsAwedbymywomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05446407883220113880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-57181966283244291592013-10-12T07:27:22.263-07:002013-10-12T07:27:22.263-07:00I'm so happy to hear that your daughter and gr...I'm so happy to hear that your daughter and grandson are doing better.<br /><br />I totally cracked up at your description of the first spanking. I can just imagine the look of horror when that first swat echoed across the room. <br /><br />I can so relate to the meltdown that came with the second spanking. I also have a tendency to bottle things up until finally there's just no more room to push things back and there's one heck of an explosion. On a good note, these meltdowns always lead to productive conversations.<br /><br />I'm glad you two were able to talk, not just about how you were feeling at that moment, but also how you'd been feeling leading up to it. It sounds like you're in a good place right now and I pray that it continues.<br /><br />Hugs,<br />DanaDanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09466617466439016915noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-58451964795423076152013-10-12T05:54:26.726-07:002013-10-12T05:54:26.726-07:00Ami
So glad to hear your grandbaby is doing bette...Ami<br /><br />So glad to hear your grandbaby is doing better. I've missed you. <3 Loved reading about the toilet spanking. Hope your trip was mostly great.<br /><br />Much love<br />saraAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com