tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post5602326903201711427..comments2023-10-29T08:20:47.307-07:00Comments on Ami's Star Song: The Art of Conversation Ami Starsonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-11359874020194126922014-01-12T11:36:26.754-08:002014-01-12T11:36:26.754-08:00Hi Sadie, glad you enjoyed reading it. Sometimes ...Hi Sadie, glad you enjoyed reading it. Sometimes it's difficult to write what you have observed about things, especially as we all approach this dynamic is such different ways. I got so used to simply steamrollering Dan in the past, that I am having to learn a whole new behaviour. Being in a vulnerable position where you get into the habit of conversing, is very beneficial for me. But Dan has found it very difficult and even now often has little to say. Yet sometimes I have trouble shutting him up, and I then drift off, which must be very annoying. <br /><br />I asked him - he has been the one with the near vertical learning curve - I forget that and assume he knows it all. It is me who is being unfair. But we do seem to be moving together more now, instead of as two individuals. <br /><br />Hugs<br />AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-37558181502928901042014-01-12T11:30:47.967-08:002014-01-12T11:30:47.967-08:00Giggle! Smelly socks?!!! The whole cheese smells...Giggle! Smelly socks?!!! The whole cheese smells in my opinion and I found the taste very strong - too strong for me. Taleggio has a strong smell, but is lovely and mild in the middle when you get rid of the rind. But I love cheeses that we leave standing out and that "run" in the warmth of the kitchen and are nice to dip a finger in and slurp! (I know I am revolting....!)<br /><br />My dad used to buy a cheese that was so smelly that my mother used to make him keep it in a little bag pegged outside on the washing line!<br /><br />Roquefort is a wonderful cheese. It is a blue, which means it is veined with mould, but it makes it taste divine and is ideal to spread inside warm savoury scones. Have you ever tried Stilton? I, too, like blue cheese salad dressing - I think it can be made with any blue cheese.<br /><br />I didn't know there was American Brie. We try to buy large Brie cheeses especially when in France and bring them back with us. I adore them. What is American Brie like. They make a Somerset Brie over here which is good, but not as good as the French Brie.<br /><br />I have never had apple wine. It was only because Dan had some work once in Frankfurt that I found out that that town is famous for its apple wine. It is reminiscent of cider? I love small family wineries! We visit them in France and you can try all the wines.<br /><br />I should love to visit some wineries in the States. What a great idea!<br /><br />Hugs<br />AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-12407840242475547622014-01-08T18:52:00.054-08:002014-01-08T18:52:00.054-08:00Wow, Ami......what a thought-provoking post chock ...Wow, Ami......what a thought-provoking post chock full of many morsels to sift through. J converses, too. I've told him that I benefit best by hearing him tell me things directly, whether it's about what I've done, why it was wrong, what he expects of me, etc. I guess that would pertain mostly to punishment spankings. Maintenance is more conversational, between both of us.<br /><br />Thank you for sharing Dan's side of things. Sometimes we forget, or perhaps don't even realize (or I do, anyway) that our men have real feelings, thoughts, and perspectives on TTWD. It affects them differently than how it affects us. That really helped me.<br /><br />You two sound like you're onto something good. Keep up the good work!<br /><br />Hugs,<br />SadieSadiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13515398597364090414noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-1492592803408267562014-01-08T12:37:41.675-08:002014-01-08T12:37:41.675-08:00Oh, dear. I thought Stinking Bishop was an alcohol...Oh, dear. I thought Stinking Bishop was an alcoholic beverage! Lol! It's a smelly cheese, huh? Like Limburger? Hang on - I'm going to look it up.<br /><br />Omg. Smelly socks? Lol! But it says that smell is from the rind, and the inside cheese tastes really good. Was that your experience? I really do not like Limburger. My dad used to love that stuff. I had to leave the kitchen when he got it out. Bleh. I read about several stinky cheeses in researching Stinking Bishop. How in the world did people ever venture to try any of these when they smelled so badly, or had big chunks of mold such as is found in Roquefort? I love Roquefort salad dressing, but haven't had it in ages. I imagine it is the American pasteurized version, and the smell and taste was not overpowering. Same with Bleu Cheese dressing - can't have it very strong, but like the overall flavor. I also didn't realize American Brie is different than the original French Brie. Ah, the things we learn from ttwd blogs! Lol!<br /><br />Apple wine is really good. My ex-sister-in-law's family used to make homemade fruit and berry wines, and we can usually find any of these in any small winery. My state has quite a few small family wineries. It would be fun to take a driving tour to several of them with some friends. Um, when did you say you were coming to the States?! ;-)Irisheyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12270910306787125881noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-61934562504240699482014-01-08T10:15:41.360-08:002014-01-08T10:15:41.360-08:00Hi Irishey!
I know what you mean about my rhino h...Hi Irishey!<br /><br />I know what you mean about my rhino hide bottom! But it is smoother than it used to be, and quite honestly I hadn't noticed that it was any tougher. It still hurts like hell when I get spanked for real. I haven't a clue how some folk around here endure these "really" long spankings, because once that "burn" has built up, I have been known to get quite frantic! LOL! (Believe me, I have been referred to all sorts of things over the years - rhino hide is nothing!) LOL!<br /><br />I am going to mention having a safe word, but I don't know what Dan's reaction will be. Probably it will totally unnerve him. Sigh.<br /><br />Stinking Bishop is the most incredibly smelly cheese we have ever tasted - and we have tasted a good few over the years, all across Europe. But this is a Brit cheese and people seem to enjoy it very much. I think you would need to try a really good delicatessen - it is made, so I believe, in a fairly small dairy, so may not be available worldwide. However, I will make enquiries for you. It is certainly something to be experienced!<br /><br />Apple cider comes in all strengths over here, and can be sweet or dry. I prefer dry cider. I included the recipe for this on one of my Saturday Snippets near to Christmas. It has cinnamon sticks, cloves, soft brown sugar etc added. Sometimes instead of loose cloves we add a whole orange spiked all over with cloves. We also add either a couple of apples cut in rings or a couple or roasted apples. Either way, it is delicious, but alcoholic. The non-alcoholic version is when I substitute pure apple juice (I buy it in cartons from the supermarket) instead of cider. That is aimed at the people who have to drive home afterwards. But when the apple juice is heated up, with all the spices and the fruit, it tastes virtually the same, so it means that everyone can enjoy something festive without endangering their lives through drinking and driving. Apple wine sounds nice. I shall have to enquire about it.<br /><br />Thanks for your prayers Irishey!<br /><br />Many hugs<br />AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-33071229872547941672014-01-08T10:01:32.880-08:002014-01-08T10:01:32.880-08:00Thanks, Grace, for taking the time to explain your...Thanks, Grace, for taking the time to explain your way of "talking". I can identify with much of this. I suppose I need reassurance that other people often have similar conversations to us, or even non-conversations. The "not being on the same page" is something that we often had in the past and even now have sometimes, but we are working on it and it is showing improvement. I would very much like Dan to talk more, and not get tongue-tied the way he often seems to, but as our conversations are much more meaningful than in the past, I know I shouldn't complain.<br /><br />A very Happy New Year to you and Michael, Grace. So good to hear from you!<br /><br />Many hugs<br />AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-2567568687086658502014-01-07T12:03:43.649-08:002014-01-07T12:03:43.649-08:00Hi, Ami. I read this post and all the comments and...Hi, Ami. I read this post and all the comments and your responses. It's a good thing everybody else has already said all the really good, nice things and offered helpful observations, because I got stuck on the parts about you having "soft and smooth...rhino skin." Rolling over here! (I admit I might have less equanimity and humor than you if my skin was compared to a rhino's, deservedly or not! Lol!)<br /><br />I will second Cat's suggestion about a safe word. That might relieve both of you from any pressure about how much is too much for you. <br /><br />I've never heard of Stinking Bishop. I wonder if the local liquor store carries it, or would order it in for us to try. I know the difference between apple cider and apple juice, and that the terms apple cider and hard cider are used interchangeably when the cider is fermented. I'm not certain whether mulling any of these beverages makes a difference in what you asked, but I would guess that possibly your mulled cider is raw, pulpy, fermented juiced apples to which mulling spices are added and simmered. Your mulled apple juice might be non-alcoholic, strained and processed (pasteurized) juiced apples (transparent juice without pulp) which is then simmered with mulling spices. Or, I haven't a clue? Lol! I love mulled apple wine. ;-)<br /><br />I am praying for good test results for Dan. Hugs to you, Ami!Irisheyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12270910306787125881noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-86326198131063755282014-01-07T09:12:24.427-08:002014-01-07T09:12:24.427-08:00It can all get quite complicated at times, can'...It can all get quite complicated at times, can't it? But, sticking it out together and sorting through it is the important thing. That way even if you're on opposing sides going in, hopefully you'll be on the same side coming out. As far as lecturing goes, Michael rarely does that while spanking. He prefers to talk to/with me beforehand or afterward. If he talks to me before it usually of the "I expect you to do this and if you don't I shall paddle your ass even harder next time." And if he talks with me afterward it's usually of the "This is how I see the situation, so what can we do to avoid its recurrence?" variety. Sometimes he does both. Sometimes he does neither. I mean, sometimes neither of us really needs to say anything at the time. However, there are times when more discussion is needed because we're just not on the same page. And those can be difficult, but I've also found that we've grown a lot from those conversations as well.<br /><br />Anyway, I'm glad you've made it through the holidays...if not entirely unscathed. Happy New Year! :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-8447135330203535982014-01-07T04:04:20.758-08:002014-01-07T04:04:20.758-08:00But the Control Book is all basic psychology!!! Y...But the Control Book is all basic psychology!!! You would really enjoy it - well not all the stupid BDSM references - but it is virtually the same as the psychology you start off with when you begin to study it, and I think you would find it interesting, and then we could discuss and argue about it. There are no great secrets in it, but it does get you thinking, and I love having something a bit more "gritty" to get my teeth into. <br /><br />The wedge pillow sounds a good idea for bad backs too. Sometimes I can hardly get up after a spanking because my back seizes up and I have to be hauled to my feet! What buttmaster exercise? Sounds interesting. I know what you mean about the cellulite - I've never had such smooth skin! LOL!Ami Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-38765433127928053032014-01-06T13:47:07.209-08:002014-01-06T13:47:07.209-08:00Dan is strange in the way that mostly he is a thin...Dan is strange in the way that mostly he is a thinker instead of a talker. But when he talks, he can talk for England, and then if he is covering a topic in just "that" way, I turn off, and then he gets fed up with me. But this happens not just when he is spanking me. He loves a good rant - ie about the charges of different phone companies - and then I really do want to stick my fingers in my ears and go lalalala! LOL!<br /><br />We are talking together now much better than a year ago. There have certainly been improvements. But then, there have been improvements in lots of ways. Snigger!<br /><br />Hope you and P have a wonderful 2014 too! despite Ralph Lauren!<br /><br />Many hugs<br />AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-14193661014181466462014-01-06T13:42:49.545-08:002014-01-06T13:42:49.545-08:00Hi Missy! I have absolutely no idea why I feel so...Hi Missy! I have absolutely no idea why I feel so great after I have been spanked. And that applies to nine out of ten spankings, no matter what the reason for the spanking. I don't think for me it is a control issue, but purely that I have a love/hate relationship with the physical pain of being spanked. So long as I can have a good cry and nestle into his chest of armpit afterwards, I am a happy bunny. The very few times he has rushed off and left me without that hug and reassurance are the times things have gone tits up! So for me, the aftercare is hugely important, and may even contribute to my feeling of enjoyment re having a sore behind, and getting turned on by feeling the glow and sitting on our hard kitchen chairs. I don't know. I must sound ever so weird, but I suppose a each spanking affects us differently, and because we are all individuals, we all react in very different ways. Like I yowl and howl and cry and sob, and lots of you don't even shed tears. I do like to listen to him talking to me though - but not when he drones on about something I already am aware of.<br /><br />Happy New Year to you and Balu!!!<br /><br />Many hugs<br />AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-77573825878907438262014-01-06T13:34:37.290-08:002014-01-06T13:34:37.290-08:00Hi Jan! Dan has always been more of a thinker tha...Hi Jan! Dan has always been more of a thinker than a talker. But he has improved, so I shouldn't really grumble too much. Yes, I think John acts a little more spontaneously than Dan. They all have their little foibles! LOL!<br /><br />Many hugs<br />AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-40907534039396945262014-01-06T13:31:43.517-08:002014-01-06T13:31:43.517-08:00I have had thoughts about a safe word, but felt a ...I have had thoughts about a safe word, but felt a bit silly and didn't like to suggest it, but I do think it has possibilities, certainly from my point of view as sometimes I try to scrabble forwards to avoid some of the more blazing swats and get quite panicky. Other times, I find I can relax into them without any problem. It depends on my frame of mind at the time, and I never know how I am going to react.<br /><br />Cheeky bugger laughing about my "overhang"!!! But I do agree and feel ashamed re your comments about me zoning out. I used to do it a great deal more during our everyday life. I am very much better now and am even learning to shut up when he speaks to me, and not keeping interrupting. But like any old couple we do tease each other about "not listening". Dan likes to call it "selective hearing"!!! LOL!<br /><br />I hope we do receive the results soon. Hopefully the Labs will be back to a full strength work force. My physio finished today, BTW. They don't feel they can improve much on my shoulder and so long as I keep up the exercises, I should be okay. Still hurts sometimes if I overstretch it, and still can't reach right up behind my back with it, but the physio said lots of people can't do that anyway, so I will just quietly persevere.<br /><br />Many hugs<br />AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-14433820422998230562014-01-06T13:26:43.491-08:002014-01-06T13:26:43.491-08:00LOL..yes the view. Well Barney got a wedge pillow...LOL..yes the view. Well Barney got a wedge pillow for Christmas, I get a view of the mattress and that is all now! Which reminds me I probably should dust the baseboards, as I haven't looked at them in a while!<br />How on EARTH am I going to discuss The Control Book with you? Unless you are going to give me a synopsis. Barney won't let me touch it remember? <br /><br />willie<br />Oh PS.. the only time I feel spankings hours later is if I clench now! It is like the buttmaster exercise. Up side no cellulite ! williehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01907855123777628267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-19939730401721012022014-01-06T13:24:12.516-08:002014-01-06T13:24:12.516-08:00Hi Minelle! I think we always do everything hard!...Hi Minelle! I think we always do everything hard! Snigger! Being together for as long as we have, we are used to working through difficulties. Very important, but not always easy or comfortable to do.<br /><br />I have never tried to cover my butt - I am always nervous of getting my hand swiped. I am also nervous of kicking him, but he assures me he keeps an eye on both my hands and my feet. <br /><br />I am wondering about this "more" because it is a bit tricky. I think I have to rely on him to decide, especially in view of what he said. But I suppose that ten much harder swats could be as beneficial as fifty medium ones? Hard to know. <br /><br />I totally agree with the stress deflating like a pricked balloon. The difference is incredible in my temperament after a spanking. I just want to float, most of the time anyway.<br /><br />Many hugs<br />AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-41419610961033605992014-01-06T13:18:45.974-08:002014-01-06T13:18:45.974-08:00Love your "y'know that implement is a rea...Love your "y'know that implement is a real bugger"!!!! I currently feel that way about the bath brush because he swings it too high up, and then of course it comes down with such a slap!!!<br /><br />I think that discussing things the next day is good, but by that time Dan has often gone off the boil or just doesn't seem bothered about having that sort of a discussion. But it is something worth looking at and working on. How he could call me Rhino Butt though!!! Huh! I mean, I couldn't go anywhere near as long or as hard as you! I yell and howl and shout! I chew up a pillowcase! Yet I do wonder if I am a bit strange due to hardly feeling anything within an hour or two afterwards and positively drooling at sitting on the hard kitchen chairs. Sigh. (And don't you dare to chuckle, miss!)<br /><br />I suppose that so long as Dan speaks through something other than his hand I will try to listen and not zone out. Maybe a review of spanking implements is due. <br /><br />Laughing at your last para - eg my view this morning of the floorboards under his side of the bed was just priceless!!!<br /><br />BTW - I am heavily into reading The Control Book and so far quite enjoying it. Have read several similar books before, though not with the BDSM emphasis. Will discuss with you when I've finished it.<br /><br />Many hugs<br />AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-6266666013725392092014-01-06T13:07:52.748-08:002014-01-06T13:07:52.748-08:00Hello Meredith! Oh I am so glad I didn't frig...Hello Meredith! Oh I am so glad I didn't frighten you away with my long rant. I have to assure you that my bottom rarely stays sore for very long, and it loses its rosy glow within a few hours. I quite envy people who say they often find sitting a bit sore afterwards, as I have very rarely had that problem, and then only initially. For me, it is always "during" the spanking that I act like I am being murdered. I can't say why, especially when lots of women around here never even cry! I must be a softy and a cry baby! Yet being spanked is something I crave - and I never even knew until little over a year ago. Life can be very strange. We both feel so much closer to each other, and we always thought we were close before. <br /><br />Thank you for stopping by to comment and I hope you will come back again. I am not always very good at keeping up with everyone else's posts as I am as busy as a headless chicken at the moment.<br /><br />Many hugs<br />AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-51690614508981867422014-01-06T13:01:22.908-08:002014-01-06T13:01:22.908-08:00Thanks, Sunny, you really cheer me up, because I s...Thanks, Sunny, you really cheer me up, because I sometimes think it is one step forwards and two steps backwards! It is helpful to talk about what we both want though, instead of just me harping on for ages. We have both learned give and take over the years, and happily it is now becoming beneficial. I haven't a clue why we never had these deep conversations years ago, but hopefully we still have time to make our marriage even better. We are also learning to listen more closely to each other, which is just as important as talking.<br /><br />Many hugs<br />AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-61180520057681148882014-01-06T12:57:04.381-08:002014-01-06T12:57:04.381-08:00Oh Abby, I don't know about giant steps, but i...Oh Abby, I don't know about giant steps, but it has been yet another turning point. It seems to me that what you talk about is good! I know that I listen much better over Dan's lap than in any other position, but we are starting to talk a bit more both before and after a spanking, which is quite an improvement.<br /><br />Many hugs<br />AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-63108901444138732052014-01-06T08:20:59.178-08:002014-01-06T08:20:59.178-08:00I get lectured and talked to and like you sometime...I get lectured and talked to and like you sometimes drift away and miss hear what he says but then if I do that I get spanked again:) The main thing is you can talk about it together. That says a lot.<br /><br />I wish you both a wonderful 2014.<br /><br />Love,<br />Ronnie<br />xxronniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16402712634206383021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-58902620326470194552014-01-06T08:09:04.689-08:002014-01-06T08:09:04.689-08:00Wow I envy you for how honest you are about your f...Wow I envy you for how honest you are about your feelings. Also I admire how you know your heart and what it wants and needs. That's not an easy thing to do. <br /><br />I ask myself though, is it the addiction to the act of spanking itself or the feelings that surrounds it? I know after a spanking I feel less anxious about things and my life, but is it because the spanking has lessened these feelings, or is it because it's giving me a time out, even for a few minutes out of real life. A few moments on having to let go and not being in control or responsible for the order of the universe? <br /><br />As for your question, I have to say at times him " lecturing" me, makes me want to shove a sock down his throat and watch him choke on it, very very very slowly haha ok yes as you can tell he is the MASTER at lecturing and especially in a discipline setting, I already know I've messed up, and we've talked about it and I k ow why he's going to go to town on my ass, so why torture me even more with going over and over and over and over and over, ok you get the point yes?? In a "just because" type of setting, I need him to tell me why we're doing this and what were getting out of it and more importantly, he has to make me feel, with his words, that I'm not being punished. <br /><br />Happy new year honey and I hope Dan's results come through positive for him xAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-18194132820593819062014-01-06T02:31:47.239-08:002014-01-06T02:31:47.239-08:00But I wonder how many years it took to bring about...But I wonder how many years it took to bring about the changes? I think what I am really after is the "unknown" and the "spontaneous and unplanned". At least if SM keeps switching the formula you don't get into a rut or have any dull moments! LOL!<br /><br />Many hugs<br />AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-809092765940598982014-01-06T02:28:14.036-08:002014-01-06T02:28:14.036-08:00PK - you have me in fits! But having read your la...PK - you have me in fits! But having read your latest blog I think there is hope for you! I am so pleased your road has had a bend in it like ours. Don't you just love discovering what is around those bends?! <br /><br />Tell you what, I'll do the crying for the both of us! After just a year I think I have a degree in it! Maybe I need to keep quiet more, so that it goes on longer and is administered harder? And yes, it still scares Dan to death - hence the reluctance to do either of the aforementioned. LOL!<br /><br />Many hugs<br />AmiAmi Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-89873656237508597082014-01-04T23:13:37.356-08:002014-01-04T23:13:37.356-08:00Hi Ami, Gosh, I had to read that twice to remember...Hi Ami, Gosh, I had to read that twice to remember it!! I think itis great that you have come so far in only a year. I think Dan talks a lot more than my husband, he is not really into the analysing side of things. Maybe we are all addicted, after all we brought this to our husbands for a reason. It wasn't that we simply wanted to be spanked into oblivion was it? I hope you and Dan have a happy 2014 and Dan's test results are good.<br />love Jan.xxan English Rosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00696976759167193635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100475796740896413.post-20692615465691579372014-01-04T22:29:20.767-08:002014-01-04T22:29:20.767-08:00Hey Ami...I agree with Minelle...you two are great...Hey Ami...I agree with Minelle...you two are great together and so fiercely in love. I have faith you will work things through. Do have a suggestion as far as spanking not enough or too much...I think it would help you two to have a safe word with the understanding that he would spank as long as he felt necessary even if you were sobbing and that you would use your safe word if the spanking was too much.<br /><br />Am going to point out a few things that will probably make me unpopular. ;) First...that "headache from hell"?...that's called a hangover from drinking too much! Second...we always seem to take our bad moods/frustration out on those whose love we feel most secure with (yours of course is Dan just as his is you!) Third...you 'zoned out' on Dan when he was talking to you, misunderstood what he said and then lost your temper...turn that around sweetie...just how disrespected would you have felt if Dan had done that to you?<br /><br />The holidays are over, you should receive Dan's results soon (they WILL be good news!), and you will be moved within the next month or two. Hopefully, things will slow down and let you both breathe a bit.<br /><br />Sending lots of prayers and positive energy your way.<br /><br />Hugs and Blessings...<br />CatCathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14266606975978680188noreply@blogger.com