*****
I know everyone writes about maintenance on their blogs. I've tried to read them all several times. We decided that a weekly 'discussion' would be good to start off with. This week was due to be our fourth. We talked about our week and actually it wasn't that bad. So I suggested to Starman that we might have a look at some of the spanking options we could try. He raised his eyebrows a bit, but not to be put off I produced a long perspex ruler, a candy pink leather paddle, (I like pink okay?!), a shortish whippy affair with a leather loop one end and a fluffy feathery other end, and my little wooden kitchen thingy from the previous week, that research has informed me is a type of butter paddle (I know, I bought it from a market in deepest Europe somewhere!) Starman's eyes nearly popped out of his head. He lifted the paddle and weighed it in his hand before slapping it down with a crack against his other palm. Hmmm.
So I shifted willingly into our usual position with him leaning up against the headboard and me over his lap. And I grabbed a pillow and sank my face into it. I was having a premonition here.
"Why can't I just use my hand?"
"Because we have to find my tolerance levels."
"Your what?!"
"You know, how much I can cope with."
"Cope with?!"
"Oh for goodness sake! How hard! How long! What hurts the most!"
"Good grief!"
Starman didn't sound convinced, but I wriggled a bit to prompt him.
"You could start with a warm up session. I believe that is what we are meant to do."
I wriggled a bit more. So he began. They were no more than love pats!
"It's okay. You can spank a little harder than that you know."
So he did.
He has the most amazing technique. You never know where a spank is going to land, so you can't mentally prepare for it.
"Stop clenching your cheeks."
"I'm not!"
"Yes you are!" He's running his fingers up and down my cleft.
"Okay, okay, I'll relax." I giggle and giggle. I don't even want to think about what my rear view looks like.
Then the spanks begin to get harder, snappier, stingier. I wriggle about a bit. I start to gasp. I'm not too sure now. Then a pause. Have we finished?
Whack! Ohhhhh! Whack!
It's the pink paddle. It has a completely different feel to his hand. It covers more surface area. Whack! This is only just within the range of my ability to cope. Whack! Ohhhhh!
Then when I begin to think I'm not going to be able to manage much longer, another pause.
But we have not stopped. I can hear Starman changing implements.
Crack! Oh bugger!!! Crack! Owowow! Crack! Eeeouch!! Crack! I know even without being told that it's the butter paddle.
I burst into sobs, forget the crying part, I went from nought to sobs in one second flat! I buried my face as deep into the pillow as I could and concentrated on not clenching my cheeks as I knew it would hurt even more if I did. Crack! Crack! Crack!
I was shaking now. Starman was still talking for England. Lost entirely in the novelty of the situation, concentrating almost entirely on my sit-spots. Then he noticed my shoulders weren't shaking because I was giggling.
"Bloody hell, are you crying?" I felt him slow down, the tempo stagger, and the spanks were less painful.
"No, I'm fine. I'm fine. Keep going. It's good for me." Owww! Crack! Owww! Crack!
Hiccup, hiccup, hiccup!
Starman slowed, gave one final crack and stopped.
"I think that's enough for today, don't you?" I could feel him rubbing my cheeks carefully.
"You're very red." I could feel him examining me again. "You look like you've been mauled by a tiger. There's all these lines like claw marks."
I sat up and reached around for a tissue and blew my nose lustily. My bottom burned, but apart from that I felt okay. Better than okay really. I straddled Starman's legs and leaning forward gave him a big kiss.
"I do love you" I told him.
"I love you too" he replied.
I'm still amazed at our post-spanking ardour. It definitely works for us!
Later I stood in the shower and let the hot water cascade down over my rear end thinking that it actually was a little sore. Whatever...
Then when I was drying myself I happened to catch my back view in a full length mirror. Oh help! It wasn't the redness that bothered me. It was the rapidly appearing bruises! I examined myself with growing dread. Crap!
I made it through the day without too much discomfort, which was very surprising. But the bruises just carried on getting worse and worse. Whilst we were out shopping I rushed into a shop and bought myself some arnica gel. Everyone had suggested this numerous times, and I had laughingly made jokes about it.
I plastered it on that night before bed. I was very careful not to mention the bruising to Starman. That would be the end of it. He would not be happy.
So, that was three days ago. The bruises are absolutely spectacular! They start off black, go blue, then green and are now turning yellow. There are lines where the edges of the butter paddle must have bitten into my flesh. It does, truly, look as if I have been mauled by a tiger!
I cannot go swimming. I wouldn't dare as my swimsuit doesn't cover my sit spots sufficiently.
Part of the time I roar with laughter about it. The other part I'm scared stiff Starman will notice. So I make sure I am in bed before he is, and I face him at all times. If he saw I honestly think he's go ape!
But I have no regrets at all whatsoever! I learnt a great deal from this little exercise. One is to definitely take things more slowly. It isn't a race. You have to do things to suit you, not because everyone else further along the line have done it and you want to catch up. It's been a hard lesson to learn, and quite ouchy. We never even got to try the ruler (yikes!!!) and the little whippy thing with the feathers was used in an entirely different way, and we never got around to trying the whippy end of it!
But any comments would be appreciated as I would like to know about other people's experience with bruising. What do you do? Was Starman using too much strength? How do you learn to temper these things? It's very difficult when you are starting out.
I now know that if he spanks that hard for maintenance that I never, ever want to cause him to decide I need a punishment. Not ever! Ever, ever, ever! Phew!!
*****
Maybe I'll get up and start down off my hill. The views are good, but it's very lonely up here - although it's a good place to come and contemplate the next few miles of road ahead. Looks like we've hit a straight stretch...
You have to let him know. It may be any number of things that caused the bruising. Some people pause and massage every twenty or thirty or so to control bruising. He could have been catching to much of the side of the implement. He has to be told. But you can wait for them to fade so he doesn't freak to much. If you are trying to do domestic discipline, you can make suggestions, but it is his decision. It sounded like you were leading above.
ReplyDeleteSorry, didn't mean to offend. I have a tendency to be very blunt. But this is what I got from what I read. All my best to you both.
Hi Blue Bird, I do hope you had a great Christmas. Thank you for your comments. I'm not offended in the slightest - suggest away! We were trying to do this thing called the Tolerance Ladder. The negative side is that we didn't get to try out many implements, but the positive side was that we now know that if spanked too hard on just one spot I will bruise. The thing is that he started off moving all around, and then got fixated on my sit spots. The bruises have nearly gone - only faded blue and about an inch and a half across now. They don't hurt at all. The snag was that after so many spanks on the same spot I went numb and it didn't feel too bad. I've read about this and can vouch for it. To move around a bit is definitely more painful for me. I don't know how I would react if he pinned me down with his leg and gave me a real punishment spanking - I think that maintenance is enough to be going on with. As you say, it's not my choice, so I heed his warnings. I always get two of those, so the ball is in my camp.
DeleteHugs, Ami
Well, bruising happens sometimes. I don't bruise every time, but some things are more prone than others to cause it.
ReplyDeleteI think its good to be honest with him. He's in charge, and he needs to know the good and the bad.
I think I worried that Starman bruised my ego more than my backside. It looked very spectacular but the bruises have almost gone now. I couldn't go swimming as they were just nicely in view. And they didn't hurt at all after the first day. He's seen them now, and isn't very much concerned thank goodness, but they have faded and he is short-sighted and doesn't wear his contacts in bed! I don't resent being bruised in the least - it's funny, because I originally thought I would. Perhaps I regard it as a right of passage. I'm just so proud of Starman for taking all this in his stride.
DeleteHugs, Ami
He might be spanking too hard w/o warm up, or different implements tend to bruise you. I know I have only bruised twice. If you bruise easily, you might try increasing your iron levels. Talk to Starman and let him know to slow down, rub more, less pressure etc. It's not about beating you black and blue just letting you know who's boss, right. .Granted it's his decision but he needs your input. Mind you, we're not dd so I might be talking through my hat.
ReplyDeleteHi Sunny,
DeleteYes, Starman probably was spanking a little too hard, and when he homed in on my sit spots and just stayed there, I went numb. When he roams around I feel every stinging splat! Far more ouchy! Also, I may respectfully request he perhaps might rub a little in between groups of spanks, because at the moment he doesn't. Perhaps it interferes with his train of thought and the pace of the spanking. Maybe when he's more experienced it will occur to him. At the moment my spankings tend to be very fierce but over within ten minutes. And I can state very firmly that you can be spanked an awful lot of times in ten minutes!
Hugs, Ami
Some people bruise more easily, and they're going to happen when there's spanking. You wrote about having a heart attack. Are you on a blood thinner and would that make you bruise easily?
ReplyDeleteHe does need to know, so he can make adjustments. The first time I left marks on Lynda, it really bothered me (I'm over it now).
You wrote that it made you cry (sob). Was that a good thing or a bad thing. He needs to know that too.
This is part of the experimenting. And it part of what you have to work through.
The only blood thinner I am on is a very small aspirin once a day. I didn't think about whether I would bruise or not as I don't usually have much of a tendency to bruise. I'm happy to say that the bruises have now just about gone - and they truly didn't hurt much after the first day.
DeleteThe crying was a really good thing! It was a great relief, although it came as a surprise because I wasn't expecting to cry with such vigour! I was very glad I had my head in a pillow!
The experimenting is very worthwhile/important! After all, I brought this to Starman in the first place - I explained to him that I wanted to stand back and be more submissive in our marriage - I have consented to doing this thing. For me, the submissive bit is the most difficult. But I am working on it! If I'm very honest with you, I think I rather like the spanking bit so far, even if it does hurt. So I suppose you could say I have a bit of a kink. But I don't feel kinky! (I wish you could see my big grin Mick!)
Hugs, Ami
For just starting out, I'm amazed that he did this!! It's probably a good idea for us, too. If I can get him on board. We need some sort of implement collection though. We don't have much!!
ReplyDeleteOh! I know what you mean about not wanting him to see the bruises!! I bruised after the frat one and then last week. I was afraid he would quit, but he didn't! I was surprised!
Great blog! :)
Hey Elle, and a big welcome to you. Just don't go overboard with the implements to start with. It's not necessary. I can vouch for the fact that a man's hand can get you rosy red! It's also good to feel yourself over your man's knee for lots of reasons. We haven't got as far as a punishment spanking yet and I can't comment on that. Mr BB Spanker is a good friend and confident. He maintains that spanking is, in fact, only a small part of the Dd dynamic. I can really recommend his blog site. His advice is excellent and I now know it to be true and born of his long experience. But we agreed we would try his tolerance ladder, and unfortunately I got very very bruised. Mostly due to Starman's lack of experience. And it was a bit scary. Because mostly I am quite able to cope with the burn (when we use maintenance).
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean by the 'frat' one? I'm not to sure of that.
Hugs, Ami