Are you a forward-planner, or a last-minuter? Do you write lists containing lists, or do you commit the few important things to memory and just hope you will remember the rest? Are you a quick learner, or do you require constant reminders and reinforcement? If you are hands-up to the latter, then you are just like me.
Dan and I have finally thrown off our colds and coughs, our sore throats and chills, and are slowly (it could, in my case, be said 'cautiously') sliding back into our dynamic. Spring is on its way and I am propelled into a fury of spring cleaning, gardening and challenging Dan at every opportunity. Did I tell you before that I am NOT submissive? Ha! There is nothing like springtime to bring out the "Go get him, gal!" in me.
I can almost hear the rapid intake of breath. Yet as I write this I keep grinning to myself. I am sitting typing on Dan's computer (because his has a 'proper' keyboard) and I am surrounded by clandestine crisp packets, small packets of Haribos, and half eaten Picnic bars. And this is the desk of someone who assures me that he is losing so much weight that his trousers require braces to hold them up! Good grief!
It is so good to know that my man is not without his faults. It would be SUCH a dull life if he was perfect.
I, of course, am far from perfect. I have a wicked sense of humour, coupled with a penchant for saying whatever comes into my head, which is invariably at an inappropriate time or place. Tact is not my forte. But on the plus side, what you see is what you get. There is no side to me, and it takes a good long time for that final straw to break the camel's back.
Mostly, this means that spanking for anything other than pleasure is a rare occurrence. It's not my smart mouth that causes Dan to narrow his eyes and growl "You'll be sorry later" under his breath, but when I spiral downwards into a sulky and argumentative mood. He simply hates it when I behave like a spoilt child. That is most definitely a no-go area, and luckily one which I try not to visit unless I am under a lot of stress.
With the sunshine and flowers of spring to look forward to, I am feeling energetic and full of bounce.
Having nestled spoon-fashion into Dan's warm front, it therefore came as quite a surprise to be rudely roused from my early morning snuggle-zone by the command "Go get an implement."
In fact, I was so snug and comfortable that I ignored the command completely. So it came again, only a bit louder.
"What implement do you want?" I muttered.
"The flappy paddle thing." (Interpretation: the leather rose-paddle)
I was pushed towards the side of the bed and had to swing my legs out or fall flat on my face. I did, at that moment, give a sotto voce growl.
"Come on. Hurry up. I don't know what you are messing around for."
By the time I had retrieved that blessed implement, Dan had rearranged the pillows and was sitting up, back against the headboard. I noticed at once that he intended business, as when we play he doesn't bother to cover himself. This time he had the duvet tucked firmly around his lower half, and a pillow placed for me to put my hands under. (ie no reaching back)
This is the person who just a few short years ago was so reluctant to even use his hand! Time certainly does change everything!
"You better close the window. We don't want to scare the early morning dog walkers."
"Good grief. Any more orders, your highness?"
Not a good comment when a paddle is being flexed in front of your eyes.
Usually I lie relatively flat across Dan's legs, but this time as I was manoeuvring into position I was requested to keep my knees more under me. In other words, to put my bottom more in the line of fire. Humph!
Dan started out as he meant to go on. There was no nice, gentle warm-up, no stroking or caressing, no bearable hand spanking. He simply stretched my skin taut and went to work.
"What about a warm-up?" I wailed.
"This is it" he replied.
"What about the nursery rhymes?" I croaked.
"I just played "Half a Pound of Tuppenny Rice. Weren't you paying attention? Here comes Baa Baa Black Sheep."
"Ow, ow ow!!!"
There was no way on this earth I could have concentrated enough to guess those nursery rhymes. It was as much as I could do to keep relatively still and not knock Dan's teeth out. In fact, as the spanking progressed, I wondered whether we would be paying a visit to the dentist later in the day.
Dan discovered a short time ago that a quick splat on my thigh is equal to half a dozen spanks on the bottom. He was taking advantage of it. But when he landed a spank on my right calf I nearly sailed straight off the bed and through the skylight.
"You aren't allowed to do that!"
"Who says? This is in lieu of the past six months of spanking withdrawal. I am catching up."
"But I haven't done anything!"
"I am sure you are about to. Spring has gone to your head. You are racing around like a maniac. Calm down. You'll give yourself a heart attack."
All the while he is spanking and spanking. Every now and then he lands a really swishy one on one thigh or another.
"But there is so much to do!" I shriek.
"The garden will be there when you're not."
He finally stops and at last rubs my bottom.
"Very hot and red. Just like two pancakes."
"What, all flat and wrinkled?!"
"No. All rosy and rounded."
I breathed a sigh of relief, which was cut off as he began again only harder this time.
I won't bore you, but this went on in the same fashion for some time. Even when I thought he had at last finished with a final painful flourish, he gave me another ten or so culminating in a crescendo where I tried to swim off the bed and gave up muffling my yells in the pillow.
"What a lot of noise over nothing."
"It's not your bottom. How would you know?"
"I wasn't spanking hard."
"Let me be the judge of that."
"Hmmm. I think I've got this spanking game sussed now."
I am standing in front of the mirror twisting my neck and assessing the damage. He was right. Two very scarlet circles. (They're not on this image - just imagine them!)
"Come back to bed and bring the cherry lube. We'll have some fun."
Now, could a girl in all honesty refuse such an invitation?
I don't think so.
Ella wrote this meme way back last summer and I saved it thinking I would soon copy it and fill in some answers. It was never done, and so now, being totally at a loss for something to write, I have decided it will be fun to do. It's a really good meme. Thank you, Ella.
1 Name a place where you have always wanted to make love with your partner.
Under a palm tree on a hot sandy beach somewhere. We did this once in our far off and vibrant youth, but it was on a cold British beach at the top of a sand dune, and we found ourselves in a muddle at the bottom by the time we finished. Unfortunately, all the hot sandy beaches with palm trees we have visited, have been too public. There always seems to be at least one person lurking somewhere!
2 What is your least favourite implement for a discipline spanking?
We don't do punishment. But if I really get up Dan's nose I run the risk of a fierce 'reminder' spanking. These are far and few between, and resemble the spanking scene from Outlander! However, they certainly have the desired effect of a return to peaceful equilibrium. The implement I hate the most is the thin wooden paddle with holes in it, and which, coincidentally, Dan loves the best!
3 Name or describe a piece of lingerie in which your husband loves to see you.
I have this 'thing' about nice knickers. Even my everyday stuff has to be trimmed with lace, and many of my bras have 'pretty' straps in case they are seen. Therefore I fear I may have rendered Dan rather impervious over the years. He does, however, have a penchant for my lace-topped hold-ups worn with silk and lace. But I have a tendency to wobble in high heels these days.
4 Do you favour silver jewellery or gold? Besides a wedding ring, do you have a signature piece that you wear often or even every day?
I favour the silver and have quite a bit of silver jewellery including a beautiful pandora with charms that all have a meaning for me. Dan bought me the bracelet unexpectedly on a holiday, and the charms have been added over the years. My wedding ring is white gold, as are both of my engagement rings. Therein lies a story which would take till this time next week to tell! I used to wear a set of silver slave bangles that I unfortunately left on a plane and which were never returned, and I also wore several of my mother's rings which are now so worn that they are sadly irreparable. So now I just mostly wear my wedding ring and a pair of pearl earrings.
5 What was the worst job you ever had?
I worked for a year at a high school as a favour to the headteacher who was a former colleague of mine and who wanted me to tighten up on marking procedures for the two top years as the students were all under achieving. Naturally, this caused friction with the HOD who took a dim view of it all. However, his marking was shallow and his feedback to students very poor. I did as asked, and tightened up considerably, but it wasn't an easy ride as I was viewed as a 'baddy' by the rest of the staff in the department. I was heartily glad when the year was finished and I was able to move on. My only consolation was that the marks, did indeed, go up on average a couple of grades.
6 Is there something your husband does (or doesn't do) around the house that drives you crazy?
Two things. He nearly always forgets to put the toilet seat down after use, and he is never anywhere to be found when it comes to washing up the dishes. There are probably other things, but nothing I can't live with. I know I have just as many faults as he does.
7 What is the hardest thing you ever had to learn? Could be school, career, life, or even ttwd.
I don't have a logical brain, and maths and the sciences were a complete disaster for me at school. I never passed any of them. In fact, it makes me wonder how on earth I managed to get a masters degree in art and psychology, and cope with life in general all these years!
The other hard thing was the day I realised that people can be so unkind and prejudiced against other people. It happens for a whole variety of reasons, and it is so sad. The only way we can get rid of this once and for all is to learn about our fellow man. We need to understand what it is like to walk in someone else's shoes. It isn't easy, but is probably the only way.
8 Besides a spanking, tell us something that always brings a tear to your eye. Could be a movie, a song, a memory, or something else.
Believe me when I say I cry at the drop of a hat - over anything. Movies, songs, weddings...the list is endless. I took to wearing waterproof mascara years ago.
9 What was your favourite grade (year) in school (K through 13) and why?
I think they hung the flags out the day I left school, and I have never been back. I would say that Year 12 was probably the best as I was in the lower sixth and between exams, plus it was when I met Dan (at a school dance).
10 As a child, did you have a favourite stuffed animal or doll that you took to bed?
I had a small teddy bear called Ted, but I never really wanted stuffed toys around me. I was too much of a tomboy to be bothered.
11 What was a make-believe game you loved to play when you were a kid?
I could never go anywhere without 'galloping'. I had a whole stable of imaginary horses, and I galloped everywhere. I especially remember walking home from school and jumping over the water runnels at the sides of the road. I was totally horse-crazy!
12 Look in your closet wardrobe. Is there a lot of one particular colour? Are you drawn to that colour when you shop?
I love the colour 'blue'. It has always been my favourite although I like shades of green, lilac etc as well. I am a 'summer' person, and many dark colours simply pull the light out of my face, so I never wear them, or at least, not near my face.
13 What is your favourite alcoholic beverage? What is your favourite soft beverage?
I adore a good gin and tonic. My current favourite gin is Adnams Copper House. I drink it made with Fevertree tonic, ice, and a slice of lime. My favourite soft beverage is coffee. I mostly drink Taylor's Rich Italian blend, although I always start the day with a Tassimo Latte.
14 If you could have your dream job for a day, what would it be?
I am now retired, and am enjoying it too much to want to wish myself back into the workplace. I am busy doing all the things I once promised myself!
15 Describe your wedding gown. If you were going to get married again, what would you pick today?
My wedding dress was cream lace, floaty and ethereal, and very victoriana in style with high neck, long sleeves etc. I also wore a full veil and carried yellow orchids and roses. I would love to do it all again, but Dan won't. He says once was enough! LOL!
If I had my time over again, I would wear a white dress with fitted bodice and a small train. Also, no veil! It nearly drove me mad as it got in the way so much!
And yes, I promised to obey, because the priest refused to marry us otherwise! This is now something that Dan always reminds me about!
16 Tell us about your first car! How old were you? Did you give it a name? Do you remember how much it cost?
Being somewhat of a petrol-head, I have been very fortunate to have had some wonderful cars in my life, but my first car, whilst full of character, was not one of them.
It was an Austin A35. A baked bean. It had little yellow arms that went out when you were turning left or right, and a strange, long and disobedient gear stick. I called her Matilda, and she lasted me through college; then I had a Triumph Herald, which was followed by a Mini Cooper S.
Matilda cost the princely sum of £30, and I made a profit and sold her for £35 two years later.
I enjoyed doing this meme. Hope you all enjoy reading it.
"Ouch! What was that for?"
"Because you needed it."
I grinned from ear to ear because it proved that Dan was feeling better.
It's been a long haul, and we aren't completely out of the woods yet due to Dan having problems with his salivary glands, (they swell from time to time and he looks like a chipmunk) but I am hopeful that at last we can begin to return to a semblance of normality.
I feel as if I have done nothing but stop/start over the past year. In the end I just had to stand back and make the decision to take a break. In view of the fact that we chalked up more than twenty five hospital visits to five hospitals, I think I made the right decision.
All I can say is that we are both feeling very relieved that the large cyst found (totally by accident during a shoulder scan) in Dan's chest, has been removed, and has been found to be completely benign.
I am not going to refer to all our various medical problems any more, but instead I wanted to write about what it is like to be forced to take a break from ttwd and the resultant effects.
I remember very well, in the past, reading various wailings and gnashing of teeth when this happened to other people, but it is the first time it has happened to us. Like all new experiences, it takes some getting your head around. For me, at any rate.
We gradually ground to a halt around November. Spankings got fewer and fewer, and finally, due to the pain it was causing Dan, stopped altogether.
It is very easy to blame the husband when this happens. I realise that now. But actually, I think it is a measure of the strength of ttwd that you know in your heart that at some time in the future you will continue.
What was its effect on me?
I slid. No doubt about that. I think, to a certain extent, that you are bound to slide.
We were in the very comfortable position of Dan taking the lead and making all the final decisions. You can get rather complacent about it. Sometimes he would moan that I left too much to him. But then I would simply remind him that I was meant to have my say in order that he could then make an 'informed decision'. That way I couldn't turn around and accuse him of ignoring my opinion, and of being domineering.
Sometimes Dan will decide that my way is best. Just because the man leads, doesn't make him right all the time. Dan is usually right, but it is nice to know that the five per cent (or whatever) of times I am right he will acknowledge that fact.
However, you remember the Captain of the Ship thing? How the wife is the Number 2 in line of command? I can honestly say that there have been months when I have had to completely take over and steer the ship.
I was happy to do so, but extremely happy that at the back of my mind I had a little voice that assured me that Dan would be taking over again as soon as he was able.
Steering the ship comes with its problems.
It didn't take any time at all for me to return to the old Ami who walked all over Dan, who disagreed with everything he said and refused to discuss why, who got ratty and bad-tempered, and who got extremely stressed.
It was necessary at times, almost as a means of self defence against the dark side of Dan. I can tell you that he is a most wonderful husband, but a hopeless patient. Like the majority of men, he is not very good at being told to rest, to takes things easy, to stop moaning. (eg they shaved areas of his chest to put heart monitors into position, and Dan is still moaning about how itchy it is. For goodness sake, when I think about us girls and waxing, it makes me frenzied!
So about a week ago he pops me one on my bottom. The day after, if the worktops weren't made of granite, and the window didn't look straight out on to the street, things might have been very hot indeed. (Actually I was terrified Dan's lung might collapse again or something.)
Then I noticed the swats were definitely back. Even in passing. Even in front of friends.
My time as Captain was over. I wondered how long before the real spanking came along.
I didn't have to wait long. The paddle was produced and Dan made up for his absence. My bottom was glowing. I thought there might be bruises, or at least some marks after such a long pause, but no, just a very healthy shade of crimson.
It never ceases to amaze me that I can go about my day surreptitiously rubbing my rear end, and yet the redness is gone within the hour. Now how can that be? Dan never holds back. It continues to have a warm/sore feeling, but nothing the eye can see. Sigh.
At one point I implored him to remember to give me a warm up. Dan, happily paddling away simply informed me that "This is the warm up."
How do I feel now he is back in charge? One word. Relieved. I don't enjoy being the shrewish wife any more. Leading is just too tough. I prefer the peace and harmony we worked so hard to achieve. That means I am the back up.
And believe me, I still don't feel like I have a single submissive bone in my body. I am too sassy for my own good. My mouth often has a life of its own. Just not so much these days as in the past.
"Come here, I'm going to give you a smack" he says. (Heaven knows why he can't use the word 'spank'.) My heart literally leaps with joy.
We mostly have fun spankings these days. Drool.
This doesn't mean that the other type are off limits, but that once you become a spankoholic it seems silly not to take advantage of it. Smirk.
I continue get "Do as you are told" from Dan. I continue to get the raised eyebrow. I continue to get the occasional flurry of hard and stinging swats across the tops of my thighs when I have rocked the boat.
But the best thing is that we have sailed close to the wind and the boat hasn't overturned.
Neither of us have been hit by the boom as she came around, nor messed up the lines, nor torn the sails.
I want to thank all of you who have helped keep us afloat. Dan has had some of the most wonderfully rude and funny cards, and kind messages.
I do hope that I can manage to blog a little more regularly. I still need to buy a new keyboard and a remote controlled mouse, but hey, what is that in the grand scheme of things!
