I've heard of 'up the creek without a paddle' but this really had me going! Believe it or not, this is a handy device for putting things like pizzas in your Aga oven without burning yourself! I simply had to share it with you. I would think this beats the HH hands down!
I also want to share this funny little ditty with you.
I Have a Little Satnav
I have a little satnav
It sits there in my car
A satnav is a driver's friend
It tells you where you are.
I have a little satnav
I've had it all my life
It's better than the normal ones
My Satnav is my wife!
It gives me full instructions
Especially how to drive
"It's thirty miles an hour" it says
"You're doing thirty five!"
It tells me when to stop and start
And when to use the brake
And tells me that it's never ever
Safe to overtake.
It tells me when a light is red
And when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively
Just when to intervene.
It lists the vehicles just in front
And all those to the rear
And taking this into account
It specifies my gear.
I'm sure no other driver
Has so helpful a device
For when we leave and lock the car
It still gives its advice.
It fills me up with counselling
Each journey's pretty fraught
So why don't I exchange it
And get a quieter sort?
Ah well, you see, it cleans the house
Makes sure I'm properly fed
It washes all my shirts and things
And - keeps me warm in bed!
Despite all these advantages
And my tendency to scoff,
I do with that once in a while
I could turn the damn thing off!
Starman and I have had, probably, more ups and downs than most when driving. Especially on long journeys. Last year was the killer. He stopped the car on a roundabout in the middle of a busy town in France, and simply got out and walked away from the car. Even that didn't teach me a lesson. I continued to hound him right down to the south of Spain. Eventually we reached mega-crisis point. I think that if he had known then what he knows now, I would have been very much 'taken care of'! Luckily I realised I had gone too far and after a singularly good talking to a very chastened Ami kept her mouth shut for the rest of the holiday!
However, I am still reminded what a termagant I was, and now try very hard to keep my opinions to myself when being driven! This, of course, has had a direct impact on my attitude in general. And an impact on my bottom as well!
This leads on to my struggle with my attitude. I have skimmed over a lot of the detail because it would take forever otherwise. I am not proud of my failings. At times I find it all very hard, and I have a tendency to accuse Starman of simply "not trying" and leaving it all to me.
It's so easy to forget that wives have an absolute obligation to be respectful.
I forgot this yesterday in a big way. It was such a pity. We had had a lovely day on Thusday, starting with a little reconnective activity, doing things together, and even going out for lunch. But as Starman said, he won't be just using his hand in future as it proved to be insufficient to the cause.
Yesterday should have been a good day. We had our five year old grandson for the day and I took him on a mini shopping expedition to buy some new Lego and some paints and crayons. He trotted along holding my hand and we had some great conversation.
The problems started when we returned home. Starman had some work to finish in the office, and I played, crayoned, and made Lego spaceships till exhaustion began to set in. Usually Starman helps out, but this time he didn't. By three o'clock I was flagging.
Starman was sitting down watching sport on TV. I was very aggravated. My tongue ran away with me before I knew it. Starman was not amused. He told me he felt tired and a little depressed. I huffed. I told him he was tired because he had been out bowling with his friends till nearly 11 pm the night before. It was not the thing to say. Of course I regretted it as soon as the words were out of my mouth.
It all went downhill from there.
I am sorry to report that I was snippy for the rest of the day and took myself off to bed at the earliest opportunity, pretending to be asleep when he finally turned in.
This morning we both awoke to a quiet house. I offered to go and get our morning tea and coffee. But when I got back the first thing Starman did was to ask me what was wrong. I did the usual "Nothing!" grump grump.
I'll not go into details because you've all been there before.
All I will say is that I ended up having a good cry and he ended up having a good lecture. He told me that he's feeling really worried about his bone scan on Monday, and he apologised for being so 'detached' the day before. I cried harder. I explained that I had felt 'distance' between us, and that I now felt really bad for my horrible attitude and perhaps he needed to address the 'downturn'. He told me that there was no way he was going to begin a daily spanking regime, as he felt that in my case it wouldn't be helpful. But that yes, maybe a couple of times a week would be better than just the once. In order to keep me grounded. And he was quite happy to 'sort out my attitude'.
"Just get up and go fetch my spatula."
You know, I had actually been going to suggest that maybe the HH should see some action. But the thought of that wretched spatula made me cringe. Starman could see I was having trouble moving across the bedroom. And we hadn't even begun yet! "Is there a reason you are moving so slowly?" he asked.
When I returned with it he was already in position. I pulled my nightie off over my head (our bedroom resembles a freezer at the moment!) and climbed over his lap.
"There won't be a warm up" he announced.
But I have to admit it does it's job. Starman just flicks his wrist and I bury my head in the pillow. It seemed to go on for a very long time, and his skills have improved such that I am rarely bruised any more, but it does burn a great deal. Especially afterwards in the shower.
But, and I know that this doesn't apply to all of you because we are all different, the sex afterwards was just as, if not more, amazing than always. We were able to reconnect this time on all levels instead of just one or two. We are a unit once again.
He asked me why I had slipped to easily into 'bitch/troll' mode, and I was not able to give him a good answer. I think that perhaps sometimes our feelings and perspectives go against the grain instead of with it. Tiredness, hormonal surges, having only just gotten over a horrible and tenacious cold virus, all contributed. I'm sorry for behaving like a child, and I'm thankful that we talked, forgave each other and can move forward.
Now I've got that little hiccup off my chest I'll move swiftly on. I'm sure you've all been waiting for the recipe of the week. So here it is:
Rocky Road Cookies
Makes 10 260 kcals each
110g (4oz) softened butter
110g (4oz) light muscavado sugar
1 egg, beaten
150g (5oz) plain flour
Half a teaspoon of baking powder
75g (3oz) oats
50g (2oz) mini marshmallows
75g (3oz) plain chocolate chunks
1 Pre-heat the oven to 180 degrees C/350 degrees F/Gas mark 4.
2 In a large bowl beat together the butter and sugar until light and creamy. Gradually beat in the egg. Sift in the plain flour and baking powder and add the oats. Stir well. Add half the mini marshmallows and chocolate chunks.
3 Drop heaped tablespoons of mixture on to a greased baking sheet, bake for 12-15 minutes,, until just turning golden. Sprinkle over remaining marshmallows and chocolate chunks as soon as they are removed from the oven. Leave to cool slightly then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely. Serve with a glass of milk.
(Children adore these!)
I hope you all have a great weekend. I am now off to make the aforesaid 'cookies'!!!