Tuesday, 12 May 2015

Total Eclipse

In my last post I mentioned how a black cloud had suddenly descended on me completely out of the blue.

One minute I had been fine, and the next minute I could've had a fight with a T-Rex and come out tops.

It was as if I was happily wandering around in the full sunshine with a brilliantly blue sky, and then the moon moved in front of the sun creating a total eclipse. A surreal darkness in the middle of the day. 

At best it could be described as a mood swing, and at worst, all my happy endorphins had deserted me and gone elsewhere.

It didn't make me into a horrible person. I remained polite, if somewhat icily, but the worst thing was the utter indifference that came over me. I just could not be bothered. All I did was shrug my shoulders and sigh. Everything from doing the laundry to mopping the kitchen floor became too much. I didn't even get any pleasure out of spending several hours outside in the sunshine weeding one of the flower beds.

Every now and again Dan would swat me on the behind and growl a warning. I just growled in reply until he backed off. Finally he gave me an almighty wallop that echoed throughout the kitchen and beyond which shocked me into silence as our son and his fiancee were in the little sitting room off the kitchen, and could hear everything. I was suitably mortified and I told Dan so.

But why was I acting like this? I can assure you it wasn't on purpose. I didn't wake up that morning and decide to win the 2015 Bratting Contest.

I think the real reason was that my endorphins really had run out. I hadn't been spanked for over a week, and although I wasn't actively trying to induce a spanking, I was feeling resentful and unsettled. 

I had really begun to think that we had come to the end of the road, and that Dan just wasn't interested in spanking me enough to continue.

Dan does not belong to the "Frequent Spankers' Club". He will never be one of those people who earn extra "Spanking Miles" for being a regular spanker.

His spankings tend to lunge from one end of the spectrum to the other. Very enjoyable, or very unenjoyable, with maybe a sliding scale of reminder spankings thrown into the middle. I adore the enjoyable spankings soooo much; I do not adore the unenjoyable spankings, even though I realise they are necessary, turn me around, create harmony in our home, fill me with endorphins and often give me a smile that goes from ear to ear.

Saturday's spanking was of the unenjoyable variety.

It went something like this.

Dan (sitting propped up on the headboard, slurping tea, and having just put the entire world to rights) "So, Ami, what have you got planned today?"

Ami (having drunk her coffee, snuggled down under the duvet with only her nose showing, and having a bit of a headache from a very late night the night before) "I was going to Quilting till I developed this extreme exhaustion and woke up to hear the rain. I think I'll just lie here for a bit."

Dan (pulling the duvet back from the aforesaid nose and exposing my nether regions due to the fact my nightie had ridden up in the night) "I don't think so. I think you need to be well spanked. I've had enough of your attitude and I know exactly how I'm going to get rid of it."

Ami (commencing on a tug of war to get the duvet back) "Attitude? Huh? What about your attitude?"

(This is not the right thing to say when you are a hair's breath away from a spanking.)

Dan (winning the fight over the duvet, and pushing me out of the bed) "Fetch an implement!"

Ami (whining) "Why can't you fetch your own stupid implement?"

(This is most definitely not the thing to say)

Dan (sitting up straight and looking like an angry moose) "Now!"

Ami (realising he is serious) "What would you like?"

Dan (scowling) "I really don't mind. Any of them will will do the job."

Ami (now nervously loitering by the front bedroom window and making inane comments about the garden and the birds outside) "Grrrrrrh" (That's meant to be a growling noise.)

Dan "Don't think I don't know that you are trying to stall for time. Get a move on!"

Ami (cautiously opening the second drawer down, sorting through her underwear and glaring at the implement collection, then picking up the Rose paddle) "Well, if you are giving me the choice, I pick this one. I hope you don't want two."

Dan (holding his hand out) "One will be fine for what I have in mind, thank you. Come here and get over my lap.

Ami (looking down and seeing something very large that wasn't there a short while before) "I think you are enjoying this. We haven't even started yet. How could you?!"

Dan (lunging forward and grabbing my nightie) "I don't like this. We'll dispense with this. I like to see you jiggle. (grabbing my arm) Over you go." 

Ami (reluctantly being disrobed and tugged forwards, bottom in a very vulnerable position and still feeling very whiny, trying to dig her feet under Dan's right leg and inadvertently kicking him in the balls, whereupon Dan momentarily folds up) "Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to do that. Are you all right? I just don't want to kick you in the face."

Dan (recovering but with eyes still watering and now even more intent on justice than ever) "Just be careful. (He secures my right leg under his which means my legs are apart and my left leg is on top of his right leg, a position new to me as I cannot put my legs together as a means of defence, and one I immediately feel very wary about.) I will take care of your left leg, you needn't worry about it kicking me. It won't get the chance."

Ami (feeling very, very vulnerable, face buried in a pillow) "Now what are you doing?"

Dan "I'm putting a couple of pillows underneath you so your bottom is higher." (he tries out a goodly splat)

Ami (gasping anxiously and trying to wriggle, which is completely impossible.) "Don't I even get a warm up?"

Dan "That was my hand, Ami. I haven't started with the paddle yet. You will know when I do."

Ami "Are you sure it's your hand?"

Dan "It was the last time I looked."

Ami (trying to cope with the increasing speed of the spanks) "Well, it feels like the paddle. Owww!!! Dan!!! Too high, too high!" Owwww!!!

Dan (altering the tempo and moving his hand all over my bottom and the tops of my thighs) "You needn't start owwwwing yet. I've hardly started."

Ami (almost stunned into silence) "This is too hard for a warm up. Oh owww!"

Dan "No, it's not. It's doing a good job. I am completely fed up by your continual negativity. (I am positive his name is really Oddball - from Kelly's Heroes! It might well be, after that kick!) Perhaps this will reassure you that I haven't forgotten about you. Perhaps you will realise that sometimes I am simply too busy and have too many other things on my mind. It does not give you leave to have a go at me. I am fed up with it."

Ami (almost spontaneously combusting) "Shriek! Dan, are you sure you are using your hand."

Dan "I am. Now, just so you know the difference, this is the paddle, Ami."

Ami (fiercely putting both hands under the top of the duvet and gritting her teeth and wondering how anyone can possibly be expected to remain still under such a barrage) "Shriek! Yowl! Gasp! Shriek!"

Dan (actually coming out with the line you read everywhere in every story) "It's meant to hurt, and frankly, Ami, I intend it to. I want you to remember this spanking."

Ami (still yowling loud enough to be heard on the moon, and wondering if she will ever be able to sit again, and further wondering what her rear end is going to look like for the next week) "Help! Help!"

Dan (still spanking for England and now using one hand to stretch the skin and find little areas previously untouched - ever) "Help indeed. I intend administering lots of help. A nice deep red, I think."

This spanking seemed to go on for a long time. It was the sort of spanking I used to fantasise about. I shall never fantasise about them again. (I now know what it is to walk stiff-legged around the bedroom.) LOL.

Dan, having finished spanking me decided not to relinquish his HOH hat for a while. A whole lot of loving followed (quoting Katie here), complete with instructions. Whilst I was very happy to oblige, I was a little taken aback as some of the instructions felt like they were coming more from a Dom than an HOH. If men could strut, then Dan strutted, and that is all I can say. I just wish I was twenty years younger and rather more flexible. LOL.

I have now returned to my normal, euphoric state of mind. Calmer, happier and more able to cope. Dan went away Sunday afternoon as he was working a couple of hundred miles away for a day or two. Before he went he issued me with instructions to go to bed at 10pm and to ensure all windows and doors were locked and the car put away. He even rang to check on me as soon as he reached his destination.

As for my situpon, well, I couldn't situpon it without a cushion for the whole of Sunday, and even on Monday it was a little sore. Dan grabbed it just before he drove off and made me jump. "I hope it is good and bruised" he told me. The cheek of the man! Bruised indeed. He knows jolly well how bruised it is. Especially the right cheek. (I suppose that one is easier to spank). The arnica gel has had to make an appearance.

When I think how careful Dan used to be. LOL. 

I think this man of mine likes to keep me on my toes. Literally.

It's funny, but I will never learn. When I think he is completely indifferent, he always proves me wrong. When I think that we have reached the end of the road, another corner comes into sight and remaining inflexible isn't an option. 

I have to lean into it, or be leant over Dan's knee.


While I am here, I must let you know that I am having a procedure on my right hand to try to 'free up' my thumb. Apparently I have got what is called "Trigger Finger" but it is in my thumb joint. They are going to inject cortisone and I am not allowed to use my hand for 48 hours. I do hope it will improve as I am having difficulty sewing and typing (using the spacebar) as well as not being able to open things; I keep dropping stuff as well. Also, we are going on holiday next weekend to visit with relatives, so I won't be around for a while. I will do my best to throw myself back into the fray when we return.

Until then, hugs to y'all!!!

Saturday, 9 May 2015

Saturday Snippets (14)

First of all, Cat mentioned that our dear friend, Queenie wasn't feeling very perky. I wanted badly to cheer her up, but wasn't up to the technology of inserting pictures in my comments (if it is, in fact, possible) so Queenie, I am using my own blog to send you prayers, blessings and lots of Fairy Dust!! A whole big bottle!

This is a very good thing to keep in the cupboard for when you are not feeling as good as you would like to.

All you need to do is sprinkle and wait, and the fairies will appear to cheer you up. 

The Fairy Queen is a personal friend of mine.

She says that whenever you are feeling low, to go get that dust and sprinkle it around.

All your friends are here for you, Queenie. We all offer you our love and support.

Now on to some questions I have for you, dear blogging friends. I have been reading a book recently by an American writer who seems to come from one of the Southern States. I love her writing and enjoyed the book enormously - but I didn't understand some of the things she mentioned. Perhaps you can help me out. I am only a simple Limey after all.

What are slides? I think they are a type of shoe, but the only slides I am familiar with, to in your hair in order to hold it up, or out of your eyes.

She mentions having biscuits and gravy with her scrambled eggs, for breakfast. I have been told what biscuits are, (they are what we call Scones), but surely you don't have gravy for breakfast?! Do you? It makes me shudder to think of bacon, eggs, grits, biscuits and gravy!

I read another book called The Good Girl (very thrilling!) where the action took place in and around Chicago.

What is the "L"? Is it a means of public transport? I have never heard of it before.

I have to report that at long last I have watched the very first episode of Outlander. Twice! Dan watched it with me the first time, and our son watched it with me the second time. 

The first time I found myself commenting on the sex scenes to Dan and in particular the scene on the old table in Castle Leoch. 

"I shall never be able to take a bath again without remembering her comment to him" I informed Dan. "How exciting using the kitchen table."

"The table was filthy" he replied, "And anyway, you wouldn't fancy using your kitchen table if you knew that had taken place on it, would you?"

Men! No imagination at all!

Watching the same scenes with our grown up son was just plain cringeworthy. I don't know who cringed the most. He hates anything like that when he is watching something with his mother! I sometimes break out into giggles as I am certain he thinks he was conceived by an immaculate conception.

Hopefully Dan and I will get time together to watch another episode this evening. I would sit and watch them back to back, but unfortunately there is a household to run.

We've both been floored by colds from hell recently. It's not often we are both ill together and it doesn't make for a harmonious household. Not in the slightest. There is something about the common cold that is completely debilitating. Sore throats, runny noses and eyes, hot sweats and sleepless nights. Boxes of Kleenex in every room. Good grief! 

I blame it on the British weather. First it's hot, then it's cold, then the wind comes straight off the Russian Steppes. You just don't know where you are. No wonder living in this country has turned me into a siege packer so that whenever I pack a suitcase I plan for every possible weather condition even if I am going somewhere where it has never been known to rain in the past fifty years.

We are going away in a week's time to stay for a while with my family in Poland. Dan and I are going to do some walking (hiking?) in the mountains where my grandparents used to live. It is very beautiful and we are looking forward to the break and catching up with all the news as we haven't visited for four years. I expect I shall pack all the wrong clothes, whine at Dan, and end up getting lifted eyebrows all the time.

Talking of lifted eyebrows. Have you ever been absolutely fine when you woke up in the morning, and then suddenly, as if by magic, a black cloud descends on you and all you want to do is growl and tear some eyes out? Any eyes will do.

I had a morning like that on Thursday. I had more lifted eyebrows for the remainder of that day, and all day on the Friday, than I care to think about. And more warning bottom swats as well. I have to relate that all I did was snarl, snap and be icily polite. 

Instead of dealing with the situation, Dan has simply stayed out of harm's way. Which is not a good thing. He has been busy with his fundraising activities and preparing for some work when he will be away from home for a couple of days. 

This is the classic situation where I start to distance myself and Dan tries to carry on as normal without realising that there are issues that need to be discussed and addressed. 

Anyone else with a husband who is similar, has my sympathy. I know only too well how you feel. For two pins I would throw in the towel.

I feel put out and aggrieved that Dan is not concerned enough to leap into action. I even wore a nightie and panties in bed last night, and he didn't say a word. I am not a happy bunny. I thought we had progressed past all this. If he is not careful Bitch Troll will surface, and then he will have a fight on his hands.

Hang around. There could be another post coming your way. LOL! 

BTW, I intend to try my best to catch up on my blog reading as soon as I can. Keeping our house clean and tidy for "viewings" is taking up so much of my time. Now the British General Election is out of the way it seems that people are once more getting serious about moving. I have also been attempting to add more bloggers to my "Blogs followed", but some, like Abby's blog, just do not want to cooperate. Bear with me and I will keep trying. I really do enjoy reading everyone's blogs even if I don't always have time to comment.