When the Going Gets Tough

Our house move is very nearly complete. Just one final legal document left, which will be signed in a week's time.

To say it has all been an unmitigated nightmare, would be understating the facts. Were I to write about our move, which has taken a year and a half from beginning to end, I would have about three volumes! It has, temporarily at least, taken years off our lives, and we are both very under-par. Even as I write, we are awaiting the results of Dan's latest MRI scan. This is a bi-annual event since his cancer was first diagnosed, and whilst we are relieved that he is being so well monitored, it is a time fraught with apprehension. Especially as he seems to have so much lower backache at the moment, although we suspect it is more due to all the unaccustomed heavy lifting than anything else. At least we hope so.

I remember when we first began TTWD, I used to wonder how people coped with life's little difficulties. How they managed to balance dealing with stressful events, while maintaining their chosen lifestyle.

 

I know that everyone deals with these things in their own ways - ways that fit in with their lives - ways which suit them as a couple. But I thought I might write a little about how we have coped, in order that anyone else encountering these bumps in the road can see that we are way from perfect, and that every now and again we have a falling apart, just like the rest of the population.

What I have discovered, is that I am a very emotional sort of person. I can cry for England, at the drop of a hat. I don't particularly mean to, and I don't particularly want to, but it is just a part of my make-up. I am not the type to bottle up my feelings. I let them show. 



You can read my face quite easily on most occasions - unless I have a particularly irritating salesman trying to sell me something at a price far in excess of what I think it is worth - then I develop what Dan refers to as my 'poker face'.

I laugh out loud on a regular basis. Very loud. I smile a lot. I see positives even when surrounded by negatives. I have a wicked sense of humour. But the flip side is that I am equally unable to keep those tears to myself, and when accompanied by shouting, they do not go down well with Dan.

Over the years he has become adept at handling my outbursts. He knows, for example, whether a situation is serious enough to warrant a proper crying jag, or not. There have been several proper crying jags this past year and a half, I can assure you, but probably twice the number of tearful and snappy episodes, which don't really help anybody.



So how does Dan deal with me since we started our journey of TTWD? (He walks a fine line, I can tell you.) Frankly, he is nothing short of a hero in my humble estimation. Life with Ami is never dull! 

We have relaxed into our brand of TTWD a bit like you would relax into a soothing bubble bath. 



You know that "Ah!" moment when you slide gently down into the warm water and fragrant foam with lots of little flower petals floating around you and the steam rising steadily, all your aches and twinges melting away?

At the start it was a case of learning how to do it. Nothing came naturally. Each step forward was gained by studied repetition, and a bit of trial and error. If something didn't suit, we would try something else. It took quite a while to 'lie back and let go'. We even had a regular 'spanking morning' - and we stuck to it. 

Dan took a lot of convincing. Spanking wasn't something he was initially happy about. But he stuck manfully at it - with a little pushing from me. (The times I was told not to lead! Well, I have a message for those out there who told me that - without my initial 'suggestions' and 'engineered encouragement', I wouldn't be here now, chatting away, and without them I wouldn't have made the good friends I have made since blogging.) Because eventually something amazing happened. Dan took over. 


He pushed me back into the support role, and took over the steering of the ship.

I have noticed that as time goes by, I lean on him more and more. I not only actively ask his opinion, but I genuinely listen to what he has to say. I no longer sweep him aside and disregard any options he lays before me. I give his suggestions consideration. Then if I decide to go my own way, I explain to him why I am doing it. It makes life so much calmer and more harmonious.

One of the snags of going through a time of stress is that TTWD can become severely affected. In your head you want to spank/be spanked, but exhaustion overtakes you both. Sleep is more important. Spontaneity goes out the window. Even everyday swats disappear into the mists. All you can think about is getting through the day.

On the whole Dan has been pretty good, but I have noticed that spanking has become less frequent in the Starsong household. However, this is where Dan's HOHiness comes into its own. When he does spank, he has this tendency to spank longer and harder under the misguided apprehension that I need it. Pfffft! 

These are some small snippets of recent spanking conversations:

"Because it's Sunday, we're going to play 'Name the hymn'" he informs me. "If you get it wrong I will spank you till you get it right."



"Why do you always spank so fast?" I ask. "Other wives maybe get ten, or twenty hard spanks, but they get pauses, and little rubs in between."

"I prefer to spank hard and fast," I am told firmly, though after twenty or so he does pause, rub and make jokes about how the colour red suits me. Then barely pausing for breath he starts up again. 

...I begin to sniffle - "Let it out, let it out. That's right. You know you'll feel better if you do."

"Ow! Dan! Ow!"

"Fetch me the big nipper, Ami. I like it best of all. It always has the desired effect." Spank, spank spank. "I love the aerodynamics of the little holes. That man on the market certainly knew what he was selling, didn't he?"

Yowl! 

"Well, Dan, enjoy it while you can. I'm going to burn the bloody thing on the fire!"

"Yes! Thighs are definitely the thing! I certainly get a reaction from you! Do you remember how teachers used to swipe across your thighs years ago?" I can almost see Dan's wolfish grin. He laughs. "They go very red, very quickly." 

I am almost throwing myself off his lap.

"Beethoven's Fifth must've been made for husbands who spank."

"Get over the footboard, Ami, I am completely fed up with this attitude of yours." Whack, whack, whack. "Don't you dare clench." Several sharp swats on the tops of my thighs - I try to stand up and am pressed firmly back in place. "You can be such a bitch sometimes. I love you and I won't have it." Whack, whack, whack.


"I think it's time I spanked you, don't you? You are getting way above yourself. Get an implement. Your choice."

LOL!



It will be a good thing to get back to normal. We are steadily sorting out boxes and finding places for our stuff. But we have sent so much to charity shops and even donated quite an amount of furniture to the local children's hospice to put in their monthly sales. I wish we had decluttered years ago! 

We are having our kitchen refurbished and a wall knocked down, plus an Aga fitted. So the heart of the home is at present like negotiating a minefield. It will take time as we are having our kitchen units made to fit, but hopefully it will be finished by the summer.

We also have plans in to knock down the existing garage, and build a master suite, plus have a new garage and some decking. But that will take longer. We live in what is called 'a conservation area', right in the middle of a village, so the planners are hot on any alterations or new build. Our existing bedroom is perfectly adequate so we have no need to rush. It's important to get things right as no doubt this will be our 'lasting abode'. After all the problems we encountered with this move, neither of us want to move again in a hurry!

I no longer have an office, just an antique bureau. I will probably get some sort of laptop eventually, but am managing with Dan's computer and my iPad. However, I have tried several times to write a post using the iPad and not been successful, so forgive me for being rather spasmodic. I am completely unable to insert any pictures using my iPad. I carefully saved a load of images but it solidly refuses to transfer them across to my blog. If anyone knows how to assist, you would be a star. Otherwise I will persevere with Dan's and I truly hope to get back to normal as soon as I can.

 

I would like to thank those people who have emailed me over the past year and a half. I have had some lovely emails from complete strangers, and I am so glad you enjoy my blog. I will always do my best to answer your emails.




Finally, my new book, The Midnight Geese by Sarah Coltman, is making its way through publishing at the moment. I will let you all know when it is ready to make its appearance. Moving is definitely not conducive to writing books.

Until next time....many hugs. 

Ella's Winter Meme

I always love a good meme, so....

1  You have to leave your house because of a disaster. All the people and pets you love are safe. If you could choose just one item to carry out, what would it be?

Am I allowed just one, or ALL my photo albums? And what about my flash drives? How awful to have to leave your house and know that all those precious memories are left behind. If I had to choose just one, it would be an album containing photos of the children when they were babies.

2  Tell us about a book or series of books you loved as a child.

Everything I did as a child had to do with horses and riding them. I even cantered home the mile from school each day till I was about ten, jumping the water runnels as if they were huge cross-country jumps. My favourite series of books were written by the Pullein-Thompson sisters, and were all about ponies and the children who owned them. I never actually owned my own horse till I was 32, but I was very fortunate as a child to have friends who had ponies I could ride.

3  Name one item of clothing that you love for your spouse to wear.

I love Dan in a suit, especially a dinner suit with a black bow-tie that he has undone so it just hangs around his neck. So sexy.

4  Is there a lullaby your mum or dad sang to you that you also sang to your child?

My dad used to sing me a song about a little cat that got into mischief. But it was all in Polish and although I remember it, I can't spell in Polish. I often sang it to my kids when they were babies.

5  Tell about the fanciest restaurant at which you have ever dined.

I've eaten in many fancy restaurants, and can either take them or leave them. They are often far too pricey or the food is so nouvelle cuisine that you end up starving. But I can recall a special dinner at a Polo match that a certain prince attended. I don't remember too much about the food as like every other woman there, I was hanging on his every word and watching every movement. I think the food was good...

6  Tell us about any phobias you have. What else are you scared of?

The only real phobia I have is spiders. I just cannot bear them. I've had many a "spider" incident, and always hope when we are on our travels that the spiders will stay hidden away. I got marooned on a sunbed once due to a very large spider catching and consuming a reasonably large crab in front of my eyes! I also dislike heights as viewed from the tops of buildings. I'm not so bad on hillsides, although I did crash once when skiing, due to looking over the edge at the sheer drop.

7  Is there something old from a family member that you treasure?

I have a few items that have been passed down from generation to generation in our family, and I like to use them or place them where I can enjoy them. However, they can never replace the people who have gone from my life whose memories I cherish above all else.

8  If there is reading material in your bathroom, what magazines or books could be found?

Usually there are magazines or travel books, but at the moment we are packing in order to move, so if you want to read something you will have to read the labels on the jars of pots and potions.

9  Tell us about your dearest childhood friend. Besides the typical outdoor stuff?

I have a very good friend I have had since the age of two years old. It was her ponies I rode during childhood; we went to school together; we went to discos together; we met our future husbands within a few months of each other; we are godmothers to each other's eldest children. She lives a few hundred miles away and we only get together occasionally, but we are just like sisters.

10  Is there a household task that belongs to your husband?

Depends what you mean by "household task". He chops the wood and brings the logs in, and lights the fires. He looks after the septic tank and sorts it out if it needs rodding. He sees the cars are washed and that they are full of fuel and regularly serviced. He is always happy to help, but "household tasks" per se are not really his domain.

11  Have you ever smoked pot? How old were you the first time? Do you still enjoy?

I belonged to the flower power generation, so I probably did. We smoked some weird stuff in those days. But I never smoked it intentionally to get a high. I can get high just on fresh air, lots of laughter and good times with friends. I have no need for drugs other than those that keep me alive. I do, however, enjoy a good gin and tonic, and the occasional cocktail.

12  If it is cold, what do you wear to bed?

I have a couple of t-shirt style nighties, but I take a hot water bottle to bed if it is that cold. I don't take long to warm up - it's mostly to keep my feet warm, and Dan pinches it as soon as he comes to bed. Usually I sleep au naturelle.

13  How old were you when you lost your virginity? Share any story with which you are comfortable.

I was twenty. I remember it well because in those days there was no co-habiting in case the neighbours informed the parents. Dan took me away to the Cotswolds for a romantic weekend and we stayed in a wonderful old coaching inn. It just didn't happen. I clammed up and it didn't matter how many times Dan tried, it was hopeless. When he finally brought me home after our weekend it was late in the evening and my parents were out. He said he wasn't going home until he succeeded. He finally managed it but that first time wasn't the pleasant experience I had been led to believe. Thank goodness things improved thereafter!

14  Think of something you did as a kid about which you were glad your parents never found out. If you were a perfect child, you may just respond with "Perfect".

Where do I begin? I broke someone's window; I used to scrump apples from other people's gardens on my walk home from school; together with some naughty friends I would ring people's doorbells then run away; I dyed my hair bright pink when I was about eleven; a friend and I tried every single one of about fifty "miniatures" of whisky her dad had collected on his frequent flights to and from Africa (heaven knows how we didn't die of alcohol poisoning!). I could go on and on!

16   Boob question - Think Goldilocks and the 3 Bears.

Do you think your boobs are:

a)  too big
b)  too small
c)  just right
d) "All of the above" is not a valid answer

I am fine with the size of my boobs, but I do so wish they wouldn't end up under my armpits, which they do without bones in my bra!

Thanks for reading, and thanks, Ella, for such a mixture of questions.

Valentine Thoughts

"...Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper,
Thy head, thy sovereign; one that cares for thee,
And for thy maintenance commits his body
To painful labour both by sea and land,
To watch the night in storms, the day in cold,
Whilst thou liest warm at home, secure and safe;
And craves no other tribute at thy hands
But love, fair looks and true obedience;
Too little payment for so great a debt.
Such duty as the subject owes the prince
Even such a woman oweth to her husband;
And when she is forward, peevish, sullen, sour,
And not obedient to his honest will,
What is she but a foul contending rebel
And graceless traitor to her loving lord?
I am ashamed that women are so simple
To offer war where they should kneel for peace; 
Or seek for rule, supremacy and sway,
When they are bound to serve, love and obey.

Why are our bodies soft and weak and smooth,
Unapt to toil and trouble in the world,
But that our soft conditions and our hearts
Should well agree with our external parts?
Come, come, you forward and unable worms!
My mind hath been as big as one of yours,
My heart as great, my reason haply more,
To bandy word for word and frown for frown;

But now I see our lances are but straws,
Our strength as weak, our weakness past compare,
That seeming to be most which we indeed least are.
Then vail your stomachs, for it is no boot,
And place your hands below your husband's foot:

In token of which duty, if he please,
My hand is ready; may it do him ease."

I've been reading some Valentine Blogs and wondering.

Everyone around here seem so romantically inclined that I started to think that Dan and I have been kind of restrained all these years. The thing is that although I love to get little reminders of Dan's love for me - I don't really need them. I know he loves me.

It's in every tangible moment of our lives together.

The brush of fingers; the meeting of eyes across a room; the smile of contentment; our concurrent reflexibility.

I do have my memories. Of course I do. I often think we've been together for so long that we are symbiotic. A joining of two souls.

One of the first Valentine Cards Dan sent me was of a caveman with a large club, tugging his girlfriend (who had a big smile on her face) along by her hair. I put it on my desk in my office, and all day people passing through could hardly contain themselves for laughter. My boss included. Strangely, I loved it. Maybe it was an indication of how things would be.

Over the years I've had cards with hearts and flowers, and cards that said he loved my dangly bits; big cards and small cards; pretty cards and funny cards. 

And never once has he forgotten.

We don't celebrate in any particular way. These days we just seize the moment and make a decision at the time. We are often away on holiday, so that tends to take some of the decision-making out of our hands. Last year we drank cocktails in Barbados, and one year we celebrated with a walk up a hill in the Cotswolds in the rain. 

Perhaps our most memorable Valentine's was cruising down the Nile and watching a string of water buffalo swimming alongside us as we passed - the early morning sun all pink and pearly as it rose over the desert.

This year we are moving house, so tomorrow will be a family lunch. There won't be many more Sunday lunches in this house, so each one is precious. We love to observe how our own offspring choose to celebrate Valentines. Both our son and our son-in-law are very romantic in their given ways. It is a joy to us.

And now I am off to bake my Valentine's Cake. It is a little custom when we are at home on February 14. I always bake a heart-shaped chocolate cake for everyone to enjoy. It doesn't last long.

Have a lovely Valentine's Day everyone! Enjoy it to the full, however you choose to celebrate it - quietly or noisily (giggle!).

And the prose? It is taken from Kate's speech near the end of The Taming of the Shrew - one of my favourite plays by William Shakespeare. 

The Importance of Talking

If life gets you down, you need to share how you feel. You need to talk.

There are so many ways to communicate, but only one way to talk. Talking involves looking into someone's eyes, and sharing information aloud.

And it is sometimes very hard to do.

I often think that I am one of the world's worst at talking with Dan. Note I said with and not to.

I want to say things, but I tend to clam up, and I get very emotional. Which doesn't help anyone.

There was a time when I was very much 'in command' at all times. 

When the going gets tough, the tough get going could have been written for me. Many is the time when I have sallied forth like a galleon in full sail. I would sweep everyone and everything out of my way in my determination to achieve an objective. 

I can even remember literally elbowing Dan out of the way once. (It didn't go down very well and we ended up having an enormous argument.) Thankfully that is at least twenty years in the past if not more. But that is how in control I used to be. With Dan away so much, it was often a case of having to be.

Now, we seem to have gone to the other extreme. In trying to stand back, I have placed the decision-making process so firmly on Dan's shoulders that when he needs to discuss something, I find it overwhelming and very often end up dissolving into tears. For no real reason except I seem to have got out of the habit of making any decisions at all.

So, what to do short of drinking lots of strong coffee on a regular basis, or strong gin and tonics, or a combination of the two? 

The answer is that I had to pull myself together, gird my loins, and talk about how I was feeling.

With that in mind I got up early, or reasonably so. We don't do 'early' very much any more. Or late. (Well, I don't at least.)

I brought our tea and coffee back to bed and decided I had to engage Dan in conversation, and instead of the usual discussion about builders, plumbers, the size of the proposed garden shed, the ordering of a second brown bin for garden waste, more lighting in the kitchen, why the steering in my car didn't feel right..... I talked to him about us.

I sat up in bed drinking my coffee, and I didn't turn on the waterworks. It was hard, and I got a lump in my throat and welled up a bit, but I stayed on course.

Like many other couples, life gets in the way for us, sometimes. More than sometimes. I was feeling neglected by Dan. He seemed to have time for everyone and everything else, but me.

He was coming to bed later and later, usually falling asleep in his armchair with the TV talking to itself. He would start to snore immediately his head touched the pillow and would rarely give my bottom its usual loving caress. There were no kisses or loving gestures during the day, let alone at night. Spanking seemed to have disappeared whence it came, and sex was but a distant memory.

It was affecting me so much that I would go to bed dog tired, then wake up around two in the morning and lie there tossing and turning until around five, when I would drop into a deep sleep and then wake up a couple of hours later feeling like I had been slammed into by a runaway train. 

So talking to him about us could not be put off for a minute longer.

I did my best to explain my feelings. I needed him to know that I wasn't resentful, just left out and lonely. I wanted very badly to get back to walking the same road instead of travelling along two different routes.

I can't remember exactly what I said to him, or what he said to me, but I do know that I explained my feelings as best I could. And I listened to what he had to say in reply. Typical Dan, he hadn't even noticed how disconnected we were becoming from each other. He simply hadn't thought about it.

But realisation dawned, and he pulled me into his chest for a long hug. His voice was quite shaky as he whispered how much he loved me.

I told him that I know only too well that I am not at all perfect, and that I need keeping in line. I said that I thought we were long past me having to ask for a de-stress or reinforcement spanking, and that I thought he was letting things slide. 

I asked him if spanking bothered him; if he was tired of it all; if he truly wanted to go back to how we had been before.

Did he want me ruling the roost and laying down the law? Talking over him? Just going ahead and making decisions without asking his opinion? Did he want to return to us living perfectly amicably, but as two strangers under the same roof?

Dan was quite horrified. He hadn't realised that in just two weeks my mind could go on a spree of misconceptions. I don't think he understood just how needy a dd/ttwd wife can be, and that we need constant reining in and reassurance. The odd pat on the head just doesn't cut it any more.

"You know," I told him, "you don't even swat my behind in passing these days. I used to really enjoy it. After all, there are only the two of us living here. Spanking doesn't have to be consigned to mornings or evenings. Neither do other things."

"Ah, but I like my comforts, Ami" he replied. "Go get the paddle."

This all took place some weeks ago. We are the better for it. The talking worked. Real talking. Not just the type where you assume your other half understands what you are on about. I found it quite painful to have this type of conversation, yet it was just what was needed.

We understand each other better, and we have gone forward once more.

I have been spanked countless times since that talk. They have all been different types of spankings, and with different implements. Some have been positively scrummy, and others not. Some have taken me completely by surprise, particularly in their intensity. We have even gone back to the occasional spanking over the footboard of the bed, instead of always over the knee, which I can assure all who are reading, is not to be recommended as it forces you forward on to your toes, and stretches the skin.

He's even begun to call our impromptu spankings "top-ups"! 

Some of these spankings have made me laugh, and some have made me cry. They have all been good for me. They have been good for Dan too! (I prefer the leather paddle and he prefers the big nipper. LOL!)

I learned a lot from our talk. Mainly that I won't let things slide for two weeks, ever again. It's not as if I am trying to talk with a stranger. It's Dan I'm talking with.

Although I do know that we never want the stress of moving house ever again, something positive has come out of the process. We like our ttwd life. We may have our hiccups along the road, but we are never going back.

Catching Up but Feeling Glum!

It seems ages since I wrote my last post. It is not intentional - it's just that life has gone into fifth gear and there don't seem to be enough minutes in the day. And I seem to be in the middle of the most enormous fit of the 'Glums'.

Those of you who know me will know that we have had our house up for sale now for a bit over a year. It has been very tough going. Mostly due to the fire next door (last January) and the resultant 'tin canopy' that caused our neighbours' house to resemble Ely Cathedral. 

It totally put people off wanting to view our house, and we had very few viewings until it came down last October. Then we were inundated. Sometimes two or three in a day. It has been quite exhausting keeping the house clean and tidy 24/7.

But no-one seemed to want to put in an offer. Until a week before Christmas, would you believe?! A young couple with horses. They adored the house and the land and stabling was just what they were looking for, and the eight minute drive to the station for early morning commuting to London was just what they required. 

And Christmas came in the middle of everything!

So since New Year we have been shuttling back and forth to our new house with boxes and cartons of belongings, plus pictures, small items of furniture, etc.

We have hired a large skip to throw over thirty years of rubbish into, and are feverishly making sorties into the loft in the barn, and outbuildings, to fight our way through years of hoarding.

It is a nightmare of the highest order! We haven't done more than scratch the surface so far!

Just sorting through our closets is so completely horrible that I feel at times that I am going to get sucked in and never find my way out ever again!

At the same time the paperwork is being passed to and fro between our lawyers and the purchasers' lawyers. It must soon be a paper mountain! And still it goes on. Sigh!

We hope to be moved by the end of February at the earliest and by Easter at the latest. So if you wonder at my seeming disinterest and lack of participation - now you know.

So what else?

Dan had good results from his latest PSA test. It had gone down slightly from the previous one, so we are very pleased, but his annual MRI scan is coming up at the London hospital and so that is on our minds, as his operation was only on one side and he was told that there were some very tiny cancers on the other side that they would continue to monitor. Hence the regular blood tests and the MRIs. 

My MIL continues to give us concern. Her walking ability has deteriorated, although she does her best to get around, and once she is in a car she is fine. But she has decided not to undergo the shoulder replacement operation. Maybe at 88 she is right, but as it is the main cause of the pain she is in, we are not sure. She is undergoing pain management, but the doctors are not able to give her any more painkillers than she is at present taking. So Dan and his sister have discussed the future and it is all a bit depressing for my MIL who has always been so independent. However, if her situation gets worse, and she cannot manage, she will move into a lovely little granny annexe at my SIL's and that seems to be the best solution. 

The rest of our family are fine and dandy, thank goodness. We had a lovely family Christmas, and then had friends here for New Year. Lots of work, but it took our minds off moving for a while, and we were able to laugh and joke together. 

We have had one of the mildest winters on record over here in the UK. Mild and wet. 

Too wet. The flooding has been pretty diabolical. The weather forecasters tell us that it is a taste of things to come. I feel so sorry for those poor folk up north who have been flooded out of their homes not once, but two or three times over the holiday period. Places that have never been flooded before, suddenly turned into scenes from Waterworld. It has been devastating. 

This was the centre of York!

This was a lane near us!

Now the weather is turning colder at last. We have had some frost and the mercury is dropping like a stone. Snow is forecast and we are watching to see whether we get just a few flakes, or a more significant amount. Just what we want for moving house....

My computer continues to be on the blink. I mostly use my iPad but find it tiring when writing more than the average email. This week we had a power outage that came completely out of the blue, and my computer was almost dead in its tracks. Luckily I managed to coax it back into life, but I was tearing my hair out, especially as I needed to save lots of stuff on USB drives.

Throughout all of this my friends in Blogland have been absolutely wonderful. They send me regular emails and jokes, sometimes on a daily basis. You have no idea how lovely it is to sit and gaze at beautiful pictures on calendars from different parts of the world. It gives me the travel bug with a vengeance, and makes my mouth water with wanderlust. Thank you so much, girls, those calendars are a plain delight! Especially when we have had to cancel our travel plans due to our prospective move. I am threatening that we will fly out and visit some of you when we are relocated. Be warned!

There is one gift I feel compelled to share with you, my friends.

This arrived over the holiday period, with dire warnings to open it in private. Little did we know our son was going to waltz in through the back door just as I had taken it out of its fancy wrapping paper! Sigh! Typical Ami!

Believe me, Dan tried it out at the earliest opportunity. I nearly threw myself off his lap! There is not much to choose between this and the dreaded paddle with holes in it. It looks and feels lightweight, but it is absolutely lethal! Our Rose paddle felt like sheer heaven after trying this little baby out!

Thank you very much for our lovely gifts - you know who you are! My bottom is not quite as sure!

Moving is stressful. I am sure our Katie will back me up on that one. (How is it going, Katie?) 

I am beginning to sense the re-arrival on the scene of 'Bitch Troll'. It's not a good thing to admit. Haven't seen her around for a very long time. In fact, I thought I had said goodbye to her for good. Not the case. Stress is once again taking its toll on my usual sunny nature, and Bitch Troll is doing her utmost to put an end to our peace and harmony. 

I don't understand how it happens. One minute I am fine, then my mood takes a dip and I become a different person. In a way, Dan acts as a catalyst. He is ALWAYS making suggestions. It just drives me up the wall. I hate being 'suggested' to when I am in a bad mood.

Suddenly I become irritated and snappy. I am not a meek person. My temperament is continental to say the least.

This, of course, fans the flames. Dan hates being answered back in an insolent and snarky tone. One thing leads to another...

You get the general gist of it? 

I just wish Dan was the kind of man who would hike me up to our room and flourish the paddle at me. That would cure me of insolence in a hurry! But he tends to cogitate before acting. However, all I can say is that a spanking of gargantuan proportions is brewing, and I will deserve every last swat and swipe of it. It will be totally necessary in order to return to some form of tranquillity.

The only time I feel anything like normal these days is when I am in the garden. It is the best medicine, apart from a good spanking, for lifting my mood. I have been madly pruning the roses. I still have loads to do.

Whilst I am doing that, Dan likes to sweep the leaves. We have several large trees round the garden and as a result of high winds the leaves are everywhere. Dan is very meticulous in his sweeping. He does a brilliant job by firstly sweeping into lines, and then into lots of heaps, before transferring them on to the compost heap. 

We have also been decorating a couple of bedrooms in our new house. I so wanted to do it myself, but Dan disagreed. He is not keen on me climbing ladders these days.  

I didn't mention that I had been balanced on a chair and leaning into the depths of the airing cupboard sorting out the bed linen. Ha! A chair isn't a ladder....

You can see the trouble he has with me.

So I think that brings you all up to date. I promise to do my best to visit Blogland more often. I do enjoy reading all your blogs. Therein lies the problem. Suddenly two or three hours have disappeared!

Please don't forget me!

And thank you so much, you new people who have written me such great emails! I love receiving them!

Any suggestions, of the spanking kind (or other) will be welcomed. We need to get back to this:

So long for now. xxxx