Saturday Snippets (5)

I've heard of 'up the creek without a paddle' but this really had me going!  Believe it or not, this is a handy device for putting things like pizzas in your Aga oven without burning yourself!  I simply had to share it with you.  I would think this beats the HH hands down!

I also want to share this funny little ditty with you.  

I Have a Little Satnav

I have a little satnav

It sits there in my car

A satnav is a driver's friend

It tells you where you are.

I have a little satnav

I've had it all my life

It's better than the normal ones

My Satnav is my wife!

It gives me full instructions

Especially how to drive

"It's thirty miles an hour" it says

"You're  doing thirty five!"

It tells me when to stop and start

And when to use the brake

And tells me that it's never ever

Safe to overtake.

It tells me when a light is red

And when it goes to green

It seems to know instinctively

Just when to intervene.

It lists the vehicles just in front

And all those to the rear

And taking this into account

It specifies my gear.

I'm sure no other driver

Has so helpful a device

For when we leave and lock the car

It still gives its advice.

It fills me up with counselling

Each journey's pretty fraught

So why don't I exchange it

And get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house

Makes sure I'm properly fed

It washes all my shirts and things

And - keeps me warm in bed!

Despite all these advantages

And my tendency to scoff,

I do with that once in a while

I could turn the damn thing off!

Starman and I have had, probably, more ups and downs than most when driving.  Especially on long journeys.  Last year was the killer.  He stopped the car on a roundabout in the middle of a busy town in France, and simply got out and walked away from the car.  Even that didn't teach me a lesson.  I continued to hound him right down to the south of Spain.  Eventually we reached mega-crisis point.  I think that if he had known then what he knows now, I would have been very much 'taken care of'!  Luckily I realised I had gone too far and after a singularly good talking to a very chastened Ami kept her mouth shut for the rest of the holiday!

However, I am still reminded what a termagant I was, and now try very hard to keep my opinions to myself when being driven!  This, of course, has had a direct impact on my attitude in general.  And an impact on my bottom as well!

This leads on to my struggle with my attitude.  I have skimmed over a lot of the detail because it would take forever otherwise.  I am not proud of my failings.  At times I find it all very hard, and I have a tendency to accuse Starman of simply "not trying" and leaving it all to me.

It's so easy to forget that wives have an absolute obligation to be respectful.  

I forgot this yesterday in a big way.  It was such a pity.  We had had a lovely day on Thusday, starting with a little reconnective activity, doing things together, and even going out for lunch.  But as Starman said, he won't be just using his hand in future as it proved to be insufficient to the cause.

Yesterday should have been a good day.  We had our five year old grandson for the day and I took him on a mini shopping expedition to buy some new Lego and some paints and crayons.  He trotted along holding my hand and we had some great conversation.  

The problems started when we returned home.  Starman had some work to finish in the office, and I played, crayoned, and made Lego spaceships till exhaustion began to set in.  Usually Starman helps out, but this time he didn't.  By three o'clock I was flagging.  

Starman was sitting down watching sport on TV.  I was very aggravated.  My tongue ran away with me before I knew it.  Starman was not amused.  He told me he felt tired and a little depressed.  I huffed.  I told him he was tired because he had been out bowling with his friends till nearly 11 pm the night before.  It was not the thing to say.  Of course I regretted it as soon as the words were out of my mouth.  

It all went downhill from there.

I am sorry to report that I was snippy for the rest of the day and took myself off to bed at the earliest opportunity, pretending to be asleep when he finally turned in.

This morning we both awoke to a quiet house.  I offered to go and get our morning tea and coffee.  But when I got back the first thing Starman did was to ask me what was wrong.  I did the usual "Nothing!"  grump grump.

I'll not go into details because you've all been there before.  

All I will say is that I ended up having a good cry and he ended up having a good lecture.  He told me that he's feeling really worried about his bone scan on Monday, and he apologised for being so 'detached' the day before.  I cried harder.  I explained that I had felt 'distance' between us, and that I now felt really bad for my horrible attitude and perhaps he needed to address the 'downturn'.  He told me that there was no way he was going to begin a daily spanking regime, as he felt that in my case it wouldn't be helpful.  But that yes, maybe a couple of times a week would be better than just the once.  In order to keep me grounded.  And he was quite happy to 'sort out my attitude'.  

"Just get up and go fetch my spatula."

You know, I had actually been going to suggest that maybe the HH should see some action.  But the thought of that wretched spatula made me cringe.  Starman could see I was having trouble moving across the bedroom.  And we hadn't even begun yet!  "Is there a reason you are moving so slowly?" he asked.  

When I returned with it he was already in position.  I pulled my nightie off over my head (our bedroom resembles a freezer at the moment!) and climbed over his lap.

"There won't be a warm up" he announced.

There wasn't.

But I have to admit it does it's job.  Starman just flicks his wrist and I bury my head in the pillow.  It seemed to go on for a very long time, and his skills have improved such that I am rarely bruised any more, but it does burn a great deal.  Especially afterwards in the shower.

But, and I know that this doesn't apply to all of you because we are all different, the sex afterwards was just as, if not more, amazing than always.  We were able to reconnect this time on all levels instead of just one or two.  We are a unit once again.  

He asked me why I had slipped to easily into 'bitch/troll' mode, and I was not able to give him a good answer.  I think that perhaps sometimes our feelings and perspectives go against the grain instead of with it.  Tiredness, hormonal surges, having only just gotten over a horrible and tenacious cold virus, all contributed.  I'm sorry for behaving like a child, and I'm thankful that we talked, forgave each other and can move forward.

Now I've got that little hiccup off my chest I'll move swiftly on.  I'm sure you've all been waiting for the recipe of the week.  So here it is:

Rocky Road Cookies

Makes 10    260 kcals each

110g (4oz) softened butter

110g (4oz) light muscavado sugar

1 egg, beaten

150g (5oz) plain flour

Half a teaspoon of baking powder

75g (3oz) oats

50g (2oz) mini marshmallows

75g (3oz) plain chocolate chunks

METHOD

1     Pre-heat the oven to 180 degrees C/350 degrees F/Gas mark 4.

2     In a large bowl beat together the butter and sugar until light and creamy.  Gradually beat in the egg.  Sift in the plain flour and baking powder and add the oats.  Stir well.  Add half the mini marshmallows and chocolate chunks.

3     Drop heaped tablespoons of mixture on to a greased baking sheet, bake for 12-15 minutes,, until just turning golden.  Sprinkle over remaining marshmallows and chocolate chunks as soon as they are removed from the oven.  Leave to cool slightly then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.  Serve with a glass of  milk.

(Children adore these!)

I hope you all have a great weekend.  I am now off to make the aforesaid 'cookies'!!!

SPANKFUL FOR BAS!

This is one of the nicest posts I had ever wanted to write.

But how do you comment on someone who is so supremely good at everything he does?  I think he must have been practising his HOHiness for many years in secret!  He always has the perfect mix of seriousness and fun!

Well, I can only say that Bas always leaves an impression on me!  He doesn't always write an essay in the comment box, but somehow those few words are just the ones I want to hear.

I think the most memorable post I've read from Bas is about a little bronze figurine they have in their home.  It is so beautiful.  And Lisa dusts it and the girl has a shiny bottom.  It brings to mind so many statues around the world. But yours is such a good representation of the love you hold for Lisa.  The sentiments are truly beautiful.  You also showed us the one in your garden.  This is mine.

Rather more weathered than yours, and she's turning her head to look over her shoulder, maybe wondering where her HOH has got to.  It's good to know that you are ALWAYS there for Lisa, Bas.

Reading about the journey Bas and Lisa have embarked upon fills me with joy.    There is such openness and honesty in that journey. Bas has shared not only their ups, but their downs as well.  It's good to know that others have downs as well.  For people like Starman and I, you are a lifeline.  

So friend, keep on writing, and keep on commenting too.  We love having you around.  And I will toast you in Polish if I may.

STO LAT!

It means, "To the next hundred years!"

Enjoy your day Bas and Lisa!

Saturday Snippets 4

The common cold won out in the Starman household this week.  By last Saturday evening I had gone down with a very sore throat and racking cough, and the cold became full-blown during the next 24 hours.  It was totally debilitating, and whilst Starman does his best, he is not known for his culinary skills, so I still staggered up in the evenings to ensure we had at least one square meal a day.  At least these days I don't have horses to worry about like in the past!

Starman is now holed up in bed in the spare room, TV remote, mobile phone, home-phone handset, daily newspaper, paracetamol tablets, and cups of tea to hand!  He is happy croaking out various instructions to me in a 'deep brown voice' and enjoying being waited upon.

I am doing laundry, thinking what to do for tea, and writing these snippets.  So don't be too hard on me if I sound a bit doo-lallie this week!

Everything has completely gone out of the window as regards any types of spanking, and I only hope he'll remember what to do with his hand, and I'll remember what to do with my bottom, when we eventually both feel well enough to consider it.

So there are two queries I have this week.  One is because Cat kindly reminded me that chicken soup is an excellent remedy for when you not yourself.  I promptly opened my 'book of soups' and found a wonderful old Jewish recipe and hastily got it underway.  There was only one simple snag.  The bag of chicken pieces I defrosted, turned out to be pork!  So that ended up in the bin, and we had to have the soup minus the chicken; which was really the whole point of it!  And yes, I did have some excellent homemade chicken stock I used as the basis for the soup, but I had to recompense with lots of vegetables.  It was excellent, but stupid, and typical Ami!

So this first query, in all seriousness, is what do you do when you get awful winter colds?  Any remedies or recommendations will be seized upon with alacrity!  

The second query is: spanking is the last thing on poor old Starman's mind at the moment.  But I am getting very antsy!  I've been for a walk in the fresh air, and cleaned the house, and even done my ten minutes intensive cycling.  I need some recommendations NOW!!!!  As a couple, what do you do in these situations?

And here is my recipe of the week.  It's a real cracker!  We eat a lot of chicken and this recipe is just a little different, and surprisingly the garlic in it tastes very sweet cooked this way.  

Chicken with Sherry Vinegar and Tarragon Sauce  (Serves 4)

1 3.5lb (1.75kg) chicken, jointed into 8 pieces, or you could use 4 bone-in chicken breast portions

5 fl oz (150ml) sherry vinegar

15 fl oz (425ml) medium-dry sherry

12 shallots, peeled and left whole

4 cloves garlic, peeled and left whole

2 tbspns olive oil

2 tbspns fresh tarragon leaves

1 heaped tbspn creme fraiche

salt and freshly milled black pepper

First of all heat the oil in a frying-pan and season the chicken joints with salt and pepper.  Then, when the oil begins to shimmer, fry the chicken (in two batches) to brown well: remove the first batch to a plate  while you tackle the second.  Each joint needs to be a lovely golden-brown colour.  When the second batch is ready, remove it to the plate to join the rest.  Then add the shallots to the pan, brown these a little, and finally add the garlic cloves to colour slightly.

Now turn the heat down, return the chicken pieces to the pan, scatter the tarragon leaves all over, the pour in the vinegar and sherry.  Let it all simmer for a bit, then turn the heat to a very low setting so that the whole thing barely bubbles for 45 minutes.  Half-way through turn the chicken pieces over to allow the other sides to sit in the sauce.

When they-re ready, remove them to a warm serving dish (right side up) along with the shallots and garlic.  The sauce will be now have reduced and concentrated, so all you do is whisk the creme fraiche into it, taste and season as required, then pour the sauce all over the chicken and scatter with sprigs of tarragon to garnish.  This is lovely served with potatoes and freshly shelled peas.  Serve with some well-chilled Fino sherry as an aperitif!

I will be so glad when we see the sun again.  We saw it briefly for all of two hours yesterday, but mostly our skies look like this!  However, there are some little patches of colour appearing in the darkness.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend!  

And that you don't have colds like us!

Hopefully spring is on its way! 

Happy Valentine's Day!

I have a penfriend in Australia who I have written to since we were fifteen.  Now we email.  She sent me the following, and I would like to share it with you as it's just how I feel these days!

Australian Love Poem

Of course I love ya darlin

You're a bloody top-notch bird

And when I say you're gorgeous

I mean every single word.

So ya bum is on the big side

I don't mind a bit of flab

It means that when I'm ready

There's something there to grab.

So your belly isn't flat no more

I tell ya, I don't care

So long as when I cuddle ya

I can get my arms round there.

No Sheila who is your age

Has nice round perky breasts,

They just gave in to gravity

But I know ya did ya best.

I'm tellin' ya the truth now

I never tell ya lies

I think it's very sexy

That you've dimples on ya thighs.

I swear on me nanna's grave now

The moment that we met

I thought you was as good as

I was ever gonna get.

No matter what you look like

I'll always love ya dear,

Now shut up while the cricket's on

And fetch another beer.

Brings a lump to your throat doesn't it?!

And for the purists - remember that hummingbirds float free of time, carrying our hopes for love, joy and celebration.  The hummingbird's delicate grace reminds us that life is rich, beauty is everywhere, every personal connection has meaning and that laughter is life's sweetest creation.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone, everywhere!

Saturday Snippets 3

Do you have a fetish?  

Yes, you heard what I said.  But it's not what you think.  This is mine:

These are my latest addition!  I know.  I probably won't ever be able to do more than just stand around in them.  Or sit and eat.  But what the heck, life's too short!

I do have another fetish - I'm always on the lookout for really beautiful and sexy underwear!  But you don't get to see any of that!!!

So..... WHAT IS YOUR FETISH?

*****

And now for my recipe of the week.  We eat a lot of Indian food in the UK.  We had this for dinner last night.  Cat asked me what this was, and I promised her I would write it down.  It's one of the most popular of Indian dishes and it's absolutely delicious.  It can take a whole day to make, but this is the 'quick' version.

LIGHTNING LAMB DHANSAK WITH PULAO RICE

Serves 4

500g (1lb 2oz) cubed lamb

2 tbspn garam masala

2-3 tbspns vegetable oil

2 onions, thinly sliced

2 garlic cloves, thinly sliced

200g (7oz) diced pumpkin or butternut squash

100g (4oz) red lentils

600ml (1 pint) hot vegetable stock

1 tbspn curry paste

1 tbspn tamarind paste

25g (1oz) caster sugar

salt and freshly ground black pepper

2 tbspns chopped fresh mint or coriander

juice of 1 lemon

Method

1  Toss the lamb in the garam masala.  Heat 1 tbspn of the oil in a large pan and quickly brown the lamb.  Transfer to a plate and set aside.

2  Add a little more oil to the pan, then cook the onions, garlic and pumpkin or squash for 5 minutes until softened and beginning to brown.

3  Now add the lentils, stock, curry paste, tamarind paste and sugar and return the lamb to the pan.  Bring to the boil.  Now place in a slowish oven for at least one hour.  160 degrees C, but don't worry if it's a bit hotter.  My oven has a tendency to vary.  Stir occasionally, until the mixture is thickened and the ingredients are lovely and tender.  

4  Check the seasoning, then stir in the mint or coriander and lemon juice, to taste.  Serve with pulao rice.

PULAO RICE

Serves 4

4 tbspns vegetable oil

3 onions, thinly sliced

1 cinnamon stick

1 tspn cumin seeds

3 cardamom pods, cracked

3 star anise

500g (1lb 2oz) basmati rice

2 tspns salt

handful fresh coriander leaves

Method

1  Heat the oil in a large pan and cook half the onions over a fairly high heat for about 10 minutes until crisp and lightly browned.  Drain on kitchen paper and set aside, leaving just a costing of oil still in the pan.

2  Add the remaining onions to the pan with the cinnamon, cumin, cardamom and star anise and cook gently for 5 minutes or so until the onions are golden.

3  Add the rice, cook for 1 minute, then add 1 litre (one and three quarter pints) of cold water and the salt.  Bring to the boil, cover and cook over a low heat for 12 minutes until the grains are tender and the water has been absorbed.

4  Remove from the heat and leave to stand, covered, for 5 minutes.  Transfer to a serving dish and scatter over the fried onions and coriander leaves; serve warm.

*****

I'm pretty hopeless at telling jokes because I always forget the punch line!  

However, I found this old book of pictoral jokes residing at the bottom of our bookcase.  I've no idea who bought it or why.  But I'll conclude this week with these.  I hope they make you smile.

So many people here are always going on about sitting on the sofa together in the evenings!  My sense of humour took over here!

And maybe a little, well you know, BDSM? for those who are interested?!

And finally, spring is on the way, and our resident 'barn' cat likes to fight off all opposition.  Starman gets incandescent if he is woken up by caterwauling cats!  I have to hide all my scent bottles, because he uses them as ammunition!

And you think you have problems!!!

Feeling More Positive

I promised to update you all as soon as we had been given the results of the MRI scan.  Well, we have just arrived home, via my mother in law's where we had an impromptu lunch.

We were fifteen minutes late going in to see the consultant and they were some of the worst fifteen minutes of our lives!

This morning we sat together in bed drinking our tea/coffee and just staring straight ahead.  I put my left leg over Starman's right leg.  He turned to me and said "We're very quiet this morning aren't we?" and sighed.

I immediately turned and nestled in his armpit, and he put his arm around me.

We were very glum.

However, we sat talking quietly and I told him that my fight or flight mode was taking over.  "I was in flight mode when I went to bed last night.  But now I have discovered I'm in full blown 'fight' mode!" I told him.

"We're going to get through this.  We're going to ditch this  'belly full of rocks' feeling, and start to be positive," I looked at him meaningfully.  Neither of us felt very positive.  But as we talked, all those good vibes out there that you all sent to us must have kicked in.

We even managed our reaffirmation spanking.  Although Starman said it would have to be fairly quiet because he didn't feel up to discussing our week, or any rules, or how we were getting on.  

He warmed me up for much longer this time, around three minutes (we are going to get an egg timer in future!) and eventually he said that his arm was aching and his hand was burning to much to continue.  (What about my butt?!) He sent me to fetch the wooden spatula thingy (well, surprise, surprise!) and he started for real.

I can confirm, now, that if you are in 'fight' mode, that a spanking has a whole new aspect.  All I did was kick and yell and feel feistier and feistier!  I wasn't in 'bitch-troll' mode, nor in 'I need to crawl off his lap as soon as I can escape' mode, nor even in 'let me up before I behead you' mode.  I just couldn't seem to concentrate, or relax, or let go.  I was too full of adrenalin to try to be even 1% submissive.  

Eventually he thought I had had enough.  "I'm exhausted" he moaned. "I've covered every inch.  Even the tops of your thighs.  You won't sit down for a month!"

"Huh!"  My fight mode was still revving! "We need to get a move on.  Come on, I'll make us breakfast."  I stomped off downstairs and clattered a few pans.

I hadn't felt this way for many a long month.  I was glad.  It felt so much better for a change.

We couldn't find anywhere to park when we got to the hospital.  And that was a right royal pain.  But luckily someone reversed out of a place right in front of us and so we dived straight in.

The consultant, as I said earlier, was running a little late.  My fight mode had ebbed somewhat and I was beginning to feel a little nervous.  We sat very close together and I put my hand in Starman's pocket and rubbed his thigh.  (I know, I'm strange like that - but it's something I've always done!)

"Well" he said without preamble.  "There's nothing more to show on the scan. Nothing in the lymph nodes.  Nothing hiding behind the existing tumours."

Starman and I hugged!

Okay, I know, he still has cancer.  But it could have been so much worse.  At least the tumours are still pussycats and not tigers.

So we told the consultant that we needed time to think about how we would proceed. He was happy with that, and Starman will have what's called frequent surveillance over the next six months.  It means using PSA as a monitoring system, and if it jumps upwards too much, and regardless after six months, he will have more biopsies.  If the tumours start to grow, a decision will have to be made.

We asked him lots of questions and were even shown some of the MRI images on screen. British consultants sometimes are a bit 'terse' and I still had my fight mode hat on, so he wasn't getting away with it.  Much of it comes down to 'quality of life' after treatment, and even he admitted that we had more to lose than couples in their eighties.  However, we would cross those bridges if we had to.

In the meantime, we were told of some clinical trials in London using high intensity focused ultrasound to blast at the tumours.  Starman will apply to go on these, but at this point we don't know whether he will be accepted or not.  So we will have to wait and see.

But the important thing for us is that we can now get to grips with moving forward in a positive way to tackle this cancer.  And we feel much better about that.  We want to carry on as normally as possible.  We don't intend it to defeat us.

Back in the car we breathed a sigh of relief.  My fight mode was completely gone, but it didn't matter.  I didn't need it any more for the time being.

I am sure that much of the strength we found today was because of the prayers, blessings and good thoughts you ALL sent our way.  Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

Symbols

Reading all your comments and emails, I feel totally inadequate.  Each time new ones are added I read them out to Starman.  I have tears and a lump in my throat, and he leans into me and gives me the warmest touch of a kiss on my mouth.  And he doesn't avoid my eyes, he looks straight into their stormy depths.

Thank you all for your continued support and prayers.  We don't know what else to say.  We both have bellies full of rocks.  Pray for us especially that we receive good news on Thursday.

One or two friends have suggested I might like to post as a means of catharsis.  I don't feel very cheerful right now, and yesterday afternoon and this morning I felt a huge build up of anger.  I wanted to rip everything down in my path.  Instead I angrily emailed some of my friends here in blogland.  I was like a raging grizzly bear.  But instead of shooting me down, they replied, speaking soothingly to me, and now I feel sufficiently in control to try to talk a little.

I do hope I won't upset, offend, disrespect, maim, murder or slay anyone.  It's really not in my nature to behave in such a way.  But I don't seem to be in control at this time.  It's as if an angry spirit is in my body instead of me.

The idea of 'collars' has always intrigued me.  

For my 21st birthday, my then boyfriend, a certain Starman with attitude, collared me.  

Of course, we did not know the significance of such a thing, nor did we know the words 'to be collared'.  He simply gave me a beautiful silver pendant with a pearl placed right in the middle.  He asked me to wear it for him, as a symbol of his love.

I wore it avidly, every single day, never even taking it off for bath, shower, swimming or any sporting activity.  I loved the symbol of the pearl for tears, and how the circle reminded me of his arms around me, keeping me safe.

I wore it on our wedding day.  Although it was hidden by the high neck of my wedding dress, (yes, we covered up to get married in those days, our charms being kept for our husbands!) I knew it was there, and I was happy to wear it.

Somewhere along the years I stopped wearing my pearl each and every minute.  Instead, it was relegated to my jewel case to be brought out on special occasions only.  I remember the last time I wore it on a daily basis.  We were building sandcastles on the beach with our children, when I realised my pearl was missing.  The pendant was 'empty'!  There followed a frantic search of the sand and the blanket we were lying on.  Towels were carefully shaken out, and we were all on our hands and knees combing the surrounding area.

Sadly I supposed I had lost it whilst swimming.  The glue keeping it in its setting had weakened over the years, and the pearl had slid loose.  I was desolated and inconsolable.  How stupid to have worn it under such circumstances!  Anyone with half a brain could have told me that such an accident was inevitable!

Yet... later than day, when we had walked back the few yards to our hotel room, and I was peeling off a damp and sandy swimsuit, I heard a little 'ping'.  And  my pearl dropped out of the shelter of my bosoms, and on to the floor.  

I gathered it up in such delight!  I was happy and relieved in equal measure!

And so never again have I dared to tempt fate!

But you know?  I received another outward sign, or token of ownership.  Another beautiful proclamation of love.  It's something I have never wondered about until now.  Something absolutely amazing.  When we say all our vows, when the words obey, honour, love, cherish are said, we add something further to it.  "With this ring..."  I repeat, "With this ring!"

The day we married Starman placed this on my finger for the world to see.

This is my symbol of being a wife.  This is my symbol of Starman worshipping me with his body.  Of looking after me and sharing his worldly goods with me.  Of owning me!

And I was thinking.  

How could I not be proud of such an ownership?  How could I not want to love, respect and obey him with every fibre of my being?

It is all I want.

For ever.