Friday, 17 January 2014

Spanking Fantasy versus Reality


Anastasia Vitsky is hosting the Spanking romance round table discussion this week.  The subject is Fantasy versus Reality as it pertains to spanking.

I often think I am a female version of Walter Mitty. So many fantasies, so little room in my head for them all. Around four, full length, unwritten novels so far....

As a child I "trotted, cantered and galloped" my way home the two miles I lived from school.  My entire life was spent fantasizing about horses. I waited over twenty years before those fantasies became reality.

As a teen I read every Mills and Boon romance I could lay my hands on.  I especially fantasised about tall, blonde men with blue eyes.  Yet my husband is only an inch taller than me, and has (had) dark hair and deep brown eyes, and the power to make me melt on a daily basis.

I never fantasised about spanking.  Less than two years ago the only spanking I knew about was the type I had used on my son when he was a child, and driving me up the wall.  I would chase him with a wooden spoon, out the kitchen door, and around the garden.  He's now a tall and handsome 32 year old, and well drilled in evasion tactics.

So to gasps of horror from all writers present, I admit that it was that book which enlightened me about a very different world - one which I knew absolutely nothing about.  I read it once disbelievingly, and then a third and a fourth time.  It caused my pulse to quicken and my mouth to form an O of amazement. Such things?  Such things to fantasise about.  Oh my!
LOL!

From that book I discovered that other people wrote books about spanking, albeit in different guises.  I was horrified - and hooked.  I typed in 'spanking' on Google, and discovered a whole alternate universe. Not quite the universe I usually fantasised about, but goodness me, grown women being spanked!

My fantasies drew me to seek answers.  What a world I found myself in. Did I dare?  Yes, I did.  Forget my subconscious and my inner goddess - I discovered I had been missing out big time all my life.  

So for me, my spanking fantasy became my spanking reality.  Not perhaps in quite the way I thought it would; I found out that I am what is referred to as a "Spanko" for one thing.  But it certainly has its benefits.

Perhaps we can all, to some extent, make our fantasies into our realities, if we are prepared to be flexible, and run with them.  

I know I have collected on my Kindle in excess of three hundred books all with one common denominator - spanking - and I think that is pretty good going for under two years.  If you are a writer, I'll bet I have several of your books.

I am now writing my own stories - but are they my fantasies, or are they my reality?  

It's for me to know, and for you to conjecture.

Perhaps that is part of the fantasy?






36 comments:

  1. Very exciting Ami! Can't wait to see what those fantasies are if you publish. Or realities? I will definitely be wondering!

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    1. People slag off 50 Shades, but it gave us a whole new life. Nothing over the top, but we are still learning lots of unsuspected facets about each other that we were unable/afraid/embarrassed to discuss before.

      For me, I have a need to write mixing fact with fiction in order to achieve credibility.

      Hugs
      Ami

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  2. Hi Ami, nice post, 300!!!! I thought I was bad but crikey.....
    love Jan.xx
    P.S. Just put Renee Roses' latest on mine, am off to read it
    xx

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    1. Shhhh! Compulsive reading syndrome!

      Renee's books are great, aren't they? I have most of her books.

      Hugs
      Ami

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  3. I have no doubt fantasy and reality can co-exist and intertwine around one another. I have fantasies I would NEVER wish to meet up with in real life. There have been some things that happened in real life that are now part of my fantasies. It works. You make such a wonderful spanko - can't believe you haven't know it all your life.

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    1. I can assure you, PK, that never in a million years would I have associated pain and pleasure in this way. I had no idea whatsoever how I would be affected.

      As you say, there are some 'dark' fantasies that none of us would relish very much (eg I LOVE vampires big time!) in real life, but I feel like a little bird who has finally dared to take that plunge away from the nest, and I'm finding the air currents under my wings exhilarating.

      Hugs
      Ami

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  4. That book definitely got me reading a new whole genre. 300! I hope you get some of your stories written down sometime.

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    1. That book comes in for a lot of flack. It may not be the best written book on the planet, but I see the green goddess flashing when I hear all this continuous criticism and I only wish I could write a best seller that would then be made into a film. Good luck to the lady. I know just how difficult it is to write, and how difficult to hook your reader and keep them hooked. I am grateful to her for showing me how my hidden fantasies could become realities.

      Yes, I know, 300! Sigh!

      Hugs
      Ami

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  5. is this a different post from this morning??? I am so confused because I thought I read and commented...anyways...great post thanks for sharing hugs

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    1. Oh Terps, I am sorry. I did write a post, which will now be delayed until Monday, because I had stupidly forgotten about this one was due, so I took it down almost as soon as I had put it up. I keep telling everyone I am a pickle, but they don't believe me!

      How's the orchid? I was looking at some in a shop on Wednesday and was very tempted, but I am on the lookout for a yellow one, and they were all pink or white.

      Hugs
      Ami

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  6. Your lovely post only goes to show it is never to late too find yourself and discover new things.

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    1. Thank you, DelFonte, and I have to say that I love your style of writing. For me, fantasy versus reality has never been too much of an issue because I enjoy to mix the two wherever possible, and have throughout my life. It's easy to discontinue something if you don't like it, but to say you never dared to sample it. Well, I was missing out for years - and I didn't even know. Sigh.

      Hugs
      Ami

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  7. I'm so happy you are writing your own stories, Ami!!! And that you discovered spanking! I'm always surprised when I hear people discover it, as it was so hard-wired in me from birth. I hope you write all four of those novels in your head and many many more!

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    1. Renee, thank you - you are always sooooo supportive. The only spanking I knew about was purely for being a naughty kid, and for swatting my own naughty kids (on the odd occasion). My dad also used to lose his temper and 'hit' rather than spank, and invariably across the face, so I was quite nervous and wary when I first started to read 'blogs'. It took some lovely, patient people to guide me through my own fears. You 'hard-wired' people are the lucky ones - you have never missed out.

      My big love is Sci Fi and Ghost Stories. When we have completed our move by the end of February, I will sort out a work station and get down to some serious editing. I already have Ana breathing down my neck, big wooden spoon at the ready, so the clock is ticking. As far as the ghosts are concerned - we have several here. And we live in a part of the countryside crammed with ghosts and folklore, much of it centred around Richard III. The research is done and the basic plan completed - I just need the time.

      Hugs
      Ami

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  8. thanks for sharing your thoughts- it was interesting to read your perspective

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    1. Thanks, Joelle. We all have such different fantasies don't we?

      Hugs
      Ami

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  9. Replies
    1. Sunny, I am glad I found you too! What would I do without you all?

      Hugs
      Ami

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  10. Ummmm Ami? I think I may have more than 300....ahem....not sure...LOL.

    I can't believe you just began this journey 2 years ago either. I remember your first post!

    Great fun!

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    1. (You have set me off giggling once again!) Ahem! You have several years on me, so I would expect you have twice the number.

      I cringe when I remember what I thought when I read my first two or three blogs. It took me several weeks to dare to comment. Even then I erased most of them before hitting 'publish'. Now look where you have all led me! LOL!

      Hugs
      Ami

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  11. Did you post yesterday or this morning a post entitled "Compliance"? Because I was trying to show it to someone, and it seems to be gone. But I thought for sure it was you.

    Beth Elle

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    1. Yes, you did! I just found it on my phone. But when I clicked on the page, it refreshed and said the page was gone. I'd love to encourage you to put it back up, or Starman to let you. I wanted someone to see what kind of background you came from, yet choosing this lifestyle.

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    2. Hello Beth Elle - please stay tuned. I am known as Ami the Pickle. I stupidly forgot I was taking part in Ana's Round Table Discussion on Fantasy versus Reality in spanking, and so I put my new post up, panicked, and took it down again. I will be posting it again on Monday!

      There are several posts in the pipeline, but we are in the middle of preparing to move house, and my thoughts are a bit addled at the moment. Truly, I had no idea whatsoever that women were spanked until I read 50 shades just under two years ago. It has led to a journey of discovery that we had no idea was ahead of us.

      Please continue to read. I am also happy to try to answer any questions you may have should you wish to email me.

      Hugs
      Ami

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    3. I would love to email you for fun (I'm older, too), but I haven't figured out how to set up an email address yet that does not require revealing to the provider who I am!

      The very first person I emailed using my real email address ended up a little strange, and while I'm happy to reveal who I am really am to trustworthy people, I need to figure out who those are first :-).

      Meanwhile, I'm looking forward to that post again Monday, to share.

      Beth Elle

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    4. I set up an entirely different email address just for the purposes of my blog. You should never use your real email address unless you know a person very well indeed and even then it can be risky. Give it a little time to get to know people. I have some wonderful friends I have made, but it does take a bit of time. I hope you will enjoy joining in with the comments on my blog, and also on other people's blogs. You will soon begin to see familiar names that appear regularly.

      Hugs
      Ami

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  12. Great post Ami, wow ... 300 books? I would so love to read your fantasy/reality :)

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. Hi Roz, and thank you!

      Yes, I know, 300 at least, plus of course all my 'vanilla' books - I adore Sci Fi, historical romance novels such as Sara Dane, and have virtually every Dean Koontz book he has written. I am an avid reader. If only I could be just a fifth as good at writing as some of the people I read, I would be happy and content.

      When we get this house move out of the way by the end of Feb, I will be writing earnestly, with Ana hot on my heels offering encouragement. So far she has been the best friend possible with her hints and constructive criticism.

      Hugs
      Ami

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  13. Hi Ami,

    Sorry to be so late commenting. I am very proud of you for acting on your spanko desires once you discovered them. Takes a lot of nerve to actually ask for a spanking that first time, but I think the really scary part is knowing you will be asked that inevitable question of "why", and explaining is difficult, and definitely the scary part!

    However, if more people in this world were as brave as you and test the waters of their fantasies, the world would be a better place. Bravo and good on you!!!

    Hugs,
    George

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    1. Hi George!

      My answer to "Why?" was rather incoherent as I was buried in Dan's armpit at the time suffering from an emotional overload. I'm still not certain how to explain. I just knew it was what I wanted. It was all very scary not knowing what the response would be.

      Luckily, my fantasies are neither nasty nor dangerous, and most are quite simple. I have always thought it a good thing to have fantasies to work on achieving as it is the "working on them" that is part of the enjoyment.

      Hugs
      Ami

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  14. Wow. I think you even beat me with the amount of books in your collection and that is hard!
    You really had no inkling you were into spanking until 2 years ago?? I knew I always was fascinated by it, but I never knew it was a 'thing' until I was older. I thought I was just going to have to hide in secrecy forever.

    You should get those books you've written in your head out! Do it! The hard part is thinking them up :)

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    1. Hi Casey!

      Yes, I am a very avid reader. When I got my Kindle and started to keep my collection of books "in the clouds" it opened up a whole new life for me. I can carry them all whilst travelling when we go on holiday, and there is always a choice of reading to suit my moods. Sometimes I even read two books at the same time - told you I was weird!

      I do hope to write my books out one day, but life often conspires against me having peace and quiet. I am hoping that writing my short 'spanking' stories will help improve my writing, like learning to walk before running. But if I have a part of a story or book in my head, when I start to type I go so quick that it is like an outside force compelling me to get everything down. Then, of course, I have to go back several times and re-write lots of bits and switch bits around, so I don't find it easy. I have often thought of having a device I could just talk in to, in order to get thoughts down even quicker. I must investigate some software.

      Thank you for your comments.

      Hugs
      Ami

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  15. LOL Ami...slowly raising hand here...ummm....I have over 4600 books on my kindle and I would say that at least 25% of them are DD/TTWD/Spanking. :D

    Just very happy you began this journey and we have all had the opportunity and good fortune of getting to know you.

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

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  16. Ami,

    Lovely post.

    300, really. I keep downloading friends books but can't get around to reading them.

    I look forward to reading those books of yours.

    So happy we found you.

    Love and hugs,
    Ronnie
    xx

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  17. what is "that book" you're referring to? I think I know. thanks love your stories/posts about life

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  18. Really fun and interesting post, Ami - thank you :D

    So glad that you found spanking and that you love it! And it's so beautiful that BDSM is helping you and your partner discover new aspects of each other.

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  19. Watching 50 shades and reading the books finally made me feel normal. I wasn't a pervert. Other people like it too.
    Now to get my husband to agree to a dd(ish) lifestyle��

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