Monday, 19 January 2015

Chronicles of Starsong Land - Part III

It's interesting how different, yet how similar many of our men are.

It doesn't matter how many thoughts I have on the matter, Dan sticks in his toes and firmly resists being advised on exactly how an HOH should act.

 He is firmly fixed on going his own way, and nothing I read out to him, or suggest to him influences his way of thinking.

He is not impulsive. Sometimes I long for him to be impulsive, but he continues to resist. Yet whenever I am confident about a set factor in our version of TTWD, he moves the goalposts. 

A case in fact, and I refer you here to Meredith from 'A New Twist...' (who started it all) is the opening of the can of worms.

Happily discussing the power ratio in our household, I never dreamed it was going to get me spanked the way it did.

I always assumed (never assume - it makes an ass out of u and me! Truly!) that we were 51% and 49%, the lower number being me. We have always been a partnership, and there has been no reason to change it - it works for us.

Not so apparently.

I leaned in around the doorway whilst Dan was engaged in editing a work document, 

and happily expounded on my thoughts re our lives together since commencing TTWD. 

" I like to think of us as 51% and 49%", I told him. 

I failed to see the warning signs. 

The tensed shoulders, the slight lifting of an eyebrow, the slow intake of breath before he swivelled his chair around to face me.

"Oh I don't think so."

"What do you mean you don't think so? We always discuss everything. You always make the end decision."

"Is that what you think?"

"Yes." My heart was beginning to hammer a little uncomfortably. This wasn't feeling right.

"I would have thought it a lot different."


"Well, sometimes it seems about 60:40, and the 40 refers to me."

I felt quite taken aback. 

"Oh, come on. You're joking. I'm really good these days."

"Are you?"

I began to feel testy. "Yes, I think I am. I don't hound you or nag the way I used to."


"No I don't." Dan was still sitting regarding me with narrowed eyes.

"So give me an example, then. I bet you can't."

Wrong thing to say. Very wrong.

"All right, since you asked me. What about the TV controls?"

"What about them?"

"I'm sick of the way you just barge in and take over."

"Excuse me. I do not."

"Oh yes you do. You sit at that computer emailing with your friends. Then when you've finished, you wander into the lounge, pick up the paper and scan it, and then swoop down on the TV controls and change the channel. Without a bye or leave. It doesn't matter that I am half way through a programme. You couldn't care less." 

"Dan, how can you say that? I never change the channel unless you are asleep. You sit there with the control tightly clasped in your little mitt and snore your head off."

"Ami, you always change the channel. You never ask. You don't care whether I am asleep or not. If it doesn't suit you, you refuse to watch it."

"Well I am certain I don't. You've got it very wrong. How can I when you always have the bloody controls?" 

I flounced off to sort out the laundry. I was on my high horse and not happy the way the conversation was going. Best to busy myself than to have an all-out row.

The day drifted past full of household chores, phone calls and the odd caller, like my friend from across the fields who called frothing at the mouth and bemoaning the fact that she just needed a short break away from her husband before he drove her up the wall. Just an hour to herself. Humph! (She is very funny - this happens on a six monthly basis. Her husband is definitely the dominant partner, but every now and then she rebels. They've been married coming up for 40 years and we've been friends for 32 of those. But since they both retired she says he does have the tendency to get under her feet. Hmmm. I'll reserve comment.)

By evening I had forgotten the conversation between Dan and I. After clearing away the supper things, and stacking the dishwasher, I gave the kitchen a perfunctory tidy up and sat at the computer to check my emails. I answered the couple that were there, and then closed down the computer and decided to join Dan in the lounge.

As usual he was asleep, making soft little snoring noises. 

The TV was playing to itself, a programme about car restoration.

I glanced at the TV programme guide and saw that there was a programme on about 'Antiques in the Attic'. It didn't even occur to me what I was doing. I just strode quietly across the room, bent over and gently tried to remove the TV control from Dan's left hand.

Strangely I had trouble prising his fingers off it.

After trying fruitlessly for a while I decided that I had to use a little more strength. 

I looked up and nearly leapt out of my skin.

Dan was regarding me through narrowed eyes that were gleaming quite unnervingly.

I backed away rapidly.

"Caught you!"

"But you were asleep. You were snoring."

"Is that what you thought?"

Dan's eyes were still narrowed but now he was sitting up. 

Remembering, suddenly, our conversation from the morning, I wisely kept quiet.

"You were bloody well going to change the channel."

"But only because I thought you were asleep."

"I happened to be resting my right eye."

(As if!!!)

"I was really enjoying how they repaired the engine on that old E-type." The eye wasn't resting now. It was glaring at me with full strength.

"Go and sit down. You can read the paper, read your Kindle, do the crossword. But you are NOT changing the channel."

The better part of valour had me obeying, very quietly indeed. This was not something I was going to push.

I got out my quilting and sat sewing, 

and watching TV reasonably companionably with Dan, till bedtime.

Fast forward to the morning.

Dan woke me by stroking my bottom. 

I lay curled into him. I was warm as toast, which was more than you could say for the temperature in the bedroom. There was a severe frost outside. A gleaming, sparkly white world. Brrrr!

However, I wasn't too tired to react and arched my back and purred. I could feel Dan felt amorous and I was quite happy to oblige.

Then, SWAT!

"I think it's time you had a spanking, don't you?"

"Hmmm." I stretched languorously. What a nice start to the day, I was thinking.

"Go get an implement." (I am so fed up he always gives me this order. To begin with it was fun - now not. Other men all seem to fetch the implements themselves. Why is this?)

Still, I giggle as I ask him to choose. Not that we have acres of implements to choose from. Not that it bothers me - the few we have are quite sufficient to turn white to cherry red.

"Bring the Little Nipper, since you ask."

Suddenly I was not so eager. I can go with the Rose paddle even when used for discipline, but I hate the Little Nipper with a vengeance. It looks completely harmless, but it always feels like it's burning my layers of skin off my bottom on an individual basis. It is pure evil and Dan loves it because it is so lightweight and easy to brandish.

Dan propped himself up against the headboard and beckoned for me to lay myself over his lap. He anchored me down with his right leg, which is a usual occurrence to keep me from inadvertently kicking and knocking his teeth out.

Then he was wrestling with my nightie. I thought he was hitching it up around my waist. But no, he wanted it completely off. I shivered. Whether from the cold or the anticipation, I am not sure.

"You won't be cold for long" I was informed. (Wonder if Abby is reading this? LOL!)

There were various pointers re this spanking that I either didn't see, or chose not to see. I still blithely thought it was going to be a pleasant, sexy, sharp little spanking and we could then progress on to better things.

Dan started out slowly, both rubbing my bottom and spanking with his hand. I relaxed into it enjoying the various sensations. Then I felt something very cold and I realised he was using some lube. My senses heightened and I began looking forward to better things even more.

But strangely, he began rubbing the lube into my cheeks, making them wet. I felt the cold air. 


Good grief, that packed a sting and a half! 


"Ouch - that's a bit stingy! Steady on!"

I wriggled trying to avoid the spatula. Dan wouldn't be deterred. He spanked away for some time. My ouches were getting louder. This was not what I had in mind.

"Ouch, Dan. This hurts!"

I was glaring into the duvet, and when he finally stopped I breathed such a sign of relief. Thank goodness for that, I thought.

I went to get up but his hand on my back pressed me back down.

"Oh no, I am only just getting started," I was informed.

The swats were falling thick and fast. I never know whether to try to relax or to clench my buttocks for all I am worth. I was trying to kick and in between I was curling my toes. My ouches were getting louder and one or two words of protest were creeping in.

Now Dan chose to return to the discussion of the night before.

"In future you will not take the controls and change the channel on the TV without asking me first."

What the....?

"You do it too often. It is rude and disrespectful. You just wade in and ignore my preferences. How would you like me to do that to you?"

Dan was punctuating each few words with a hefty swat that had me squirming and yelling. My bottom felt ablaze. 

I wondered how much I could stand, and at the same time my admiration for people who get spanked with thick wooden paddles increased 300%.

Talking about percentages...

"We are going to work on this one" I was informed. "Just be warned - if I catch you doing it again we will repeat this little exercise until you learn."


"Ye-ouch? Yes, ye-ouch indeed!"

He stopped and rubbed my poor sore cheeks. Such a relief. So nice. Why doesn't he rub my cheeks like this more often during a spanking? I thought to myself.

"You are NOT 49% in this household. You are NOT even 40% You are barely, at this minute in time, 39%!!"  Oh?!

"You can let Meredith know just in case Jack feels he would like to make an adjustment to their power ratio as well."

"There's been too much attitude around here of late. Too many interruptions both to what I am saying and to what I am watching. I may not be impulsive, as you call it, but it doesn't mean I plan to ignore the situation. The end justifies the means. And it will be your end in the firing line."

Apparently he still had not finished, and he rattled of another twenty or so on my very chastened bottom. That final onslaught brought me to tears and reminded me that Dan had laid down the law.

Then I was gathered into his arms and at last we were on to better things.

This spanking was a reminder I hadn't anticipated, but which was long overdue. As much as I hate a more severe spanking when it is for disciplinary purposes, it clears the air, leads to better things, and makes me feel loved, cared for and cherished.

It seems that the opening of Meredith's Can of Worms proved a salutary lesson for the both of us. 


  1. Funny how this changes the farther we get into it. I think at first they're a bit intimidated by us then we give in and let them try out leading. We try to tell them how we think it should be done, which only adds fuel to their stubbornness to do it their way. Then we sit back and wonder what the heck happened. And smile when we realize this is better than we could have imagined! Be careful Ami, you may find yourself sitting at your kitchen table actually writing those lines, lol.

    1. "We try to tell them how we think it should be done...." is soooo true. But I think they do need a nudge sometimes. They get into wagon ruts the same as we do, and there is nothing like a strong nudge in the right direction to give them incentive to climb out.


  2. Oh, sweet Ami,
    Ouch and ouch again. I did not mean to start anything but a discussion among us wives. The day Jack and I discussed percents, the spanking was a big one. So now you know! We keep going back to this topic again and again. I am glad things have smoothed out for you now. I am thinking of you!

    1. LOL! Yes, it certainly was ouchy. Guess we both got a good warm-up, but I suppose it didn't do us any harm. At the moment I am not going near the topic of percentages. Talk about red rag to a bull!


  3. Oh Ami!! :) I am sorry about your channel changing spanking! Sheesh! He got you good, catching you in the act! LOL! Sometimes these loving, spanky fellas of ours are really something else, aren't they?

    Gosh our guys are so alike in so many ways- right down to the cream on the butt (that has been tried around here once)! I had a recent spanking where Rob demanded of me to strip completely and it was COLD! I suggested that I perhaps I could leave my top on. He did not go for that and told me that I wouldn't be thinking about the cold very shortly... Do you know that after the spanking he asked me if he had been right about that? LOL! I had to tell him that he was right... sigh! HA!

    Oh gosh it is hard picking out an implement that is going to be used on one's behind. Rob usually always picks but just this weekend, he went to give me a spanking in the kitchen and sent me over to pick something out of the jar on the counter. Well I suggested his hand and he said no. So I picked the darn spatula! Might as well take the "devil you know"! Sheesh. I think I like not choosing myself much better! And that "little nipper" looks like a whole lot of NO FUN! Ye-ouch seems right!! Your poor behind!

    I asked Rob about the percentage thing. Even though before this whole thing he used to say that I was 49 and he was 51, I don't think that it was ever that way. Now his answer was that it is the same. He insists that all he needs is an advantage in percentage and he has all the power! Only one leader, though he will say in a serious moment that he will always happily pay attention to my opinion and thoughts in the grand scheme of thing. He does. But no matter how you look at it, he holds the power. At least that is what I got from him regarding all this percentage stuff... LOL!

    Hope that your bottom is feeling much better Ami! Sometimes when you open the can of worms, it is really one of those trick ones, where the ssilly springing toy comes flying out and the surprise is on you. Think that that happened to you! OOps! LOL! Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

    1. I laughed out loud when I read about 'better the devil you know'. I feel that way about our Rose paddle, yet it can be used in a way that seriously challenges my opinion of it.

      Especially when he uses it on the patterned side just to see how many roses he can print on my unfortunate butt!


  4. Makes me think of a line from 'Friends' - "Can opened, worms everywhere." I bet on important decision it is closer to 49/51 but in the little daily things he's boss and I think you like it that way. Anyway I'm happy for you.

    1. I didn't realise there was a line from friends that mentioned worms. Ha!

      Important decisions always need to be closer to 49/51 because if they go tits up at least you can share the consequences with no ill feeling.

      I find I go through cycles of being "bolshy". Perhaps we all go through days like these. I do prefer him being the boss, but just occasionally I feel the need to assert myself in order to remind him I'm no doormat.


  5. Hi Ami, oops a daisy. That was one heck of a maths lesson! I don't take the remote, there is never anything worth watching anyway! I always feel bad that he works so much that I think if he is home he can watch what he likes. When he is not home the tv is generally off. I do sometimes just wish he would turn it off as I am used to the peace and quiet now!!Hope your rear has recovered
    love Jan,xx

    1. I tend to watch the TV while I am quilting. I have a whole eclectic mix of programmes I am addicted to from 'The 100' to 'English Garden Revival', and Dan loves 'Silent Witness' and 'Homeland'. Mostly they all start at around 9pm which is what time it is by the time I get to sit down and relax in the evenings.

      What do you do in winter if you are not watching TV? Or is that a leading question? Chuckle.


  6. You never know what is going to tweak them. With us, it's never what I think it will be. Just goes to prove women are from Venus and men from Mars.
    Love your chronicles and I suspect, something notwithstanding, you wouldn't have it any other way.

    1. No, I wouldn't have it any other way - now I am living this 'different' existence. But every now and again it does get fraught with danger. LOL! To my bottom at least!


  7. LOL....They do have a way of warming us up! That little nipper..looks pretty fierce to me....glad Master has nothing like it in His toy bag. So tell much about fixing cars are you going to learn about???
    hugs abby

    1. Abby, you have more experience in these matters. That blessed thing is pretty fierce! Yet you would never really realise it until you had witnessed its use. I suppose you could liken it to a very thin but sturdy paddle. It is beautifully made and has nice smooth edges - but it is quite lethal and I don't even like it for good girl spankings. There is something hidden to its qualities.

      I love driving fast cars. But fixing them is another ball game entirely. I can't even change a tyre these days as they screw the nuts far too tightly, and in any case, my Landrover tyres are far to big and heavy. Sigh. Age is such a nuisance.


  8. Yowza Ami! That was an interesting turn of events! I think it is the little things that make most of us a bit irritated. I find we weather the big things....then along comes the TV remote issue and WHAM....(pun intended) we are smacked in the 'bum' with something we never suspected bothered them!
    So my recommendation is to go with the flow! LOL. I would have probably done the same thing!
    You are both good. It sure resolves what ails us.

    1. Yes, Yowze, indeed! It has made me tread very carefully indeed when I decide to change channels. Funny how some relatively little things can set them off!

      Go with the flow?! Moi?! Ha!!


  9. Hey Ami,
    Wow - I totally hate those moments when I realize that my conversation with hubby isn't going the way I thought it would. Heart pounding is right.
    But I'm glad that your spanking cleared the air - that's always such a great feeling - and that you also got to move on to better things. :)

    1. I hate those moments too. One minute you are talking about one thing, and the next, you suddenly realise you are on to a different topic entirely and you wonder just how you got there.

      The 'better things' couldn't come quickly enough, I can tell you.


  10. Oh goodness Ami!!!! I just had to laugh with the descriptive nature of this discussion. Yes, our friend Meredith did open a can of worms as my response was also 51% and 49% me. And... I was dead wrong for many reasons. Apparently more like 60/40 per hubby's preference and truly more like 70/30 would be to his liking. Not like the numbers count, he is just saying he can do with less interference from me at this stage until I truly get who is in charge. So to exercise his point to this seemingly harmless question I asked... I also got one heck of a spanking with him demonstrating what 60% is like "just because"
    Anyway, sounds like alls well that ends well. Enjoyed this post.

    1. Well, I am glad I wasn't the only one! Love to hear I have a fellow in arms. The snag is that we can't read their minds and so we innocently pursue one topic only to have it round on us and bite us in the butt. Literally!


  11. anything that makes you feel loved, cared for, and cherished, has to be good right??? :-) Hugs

    1. Very true. The cherishing bit is most important.


  12. Hi Ami, really enjoying your chronicles posts :)

    Oh ouch, your poor bottom! Sneaky Dan got you there didn't he lol. Never get between a man and the remote! LoL

    They can be full of surprises and quite often it can be the little things that spark them into 'action'.


    1. Yes, Roz, the action round here is quite sneaky these days. I think I shall have to get a 'His' and 'Hers' set of remotes. But can you imagine what would happen then?! LOL!


  13. Oh good gravy the heck did I miss this post! So sorry you ended up with a bit of a barn burner. Hope you remember this lesson for a good long while! Oh and if Dan sends you to fetch an implement again, don't ask him which he prefers...fetch what you want...ya still got that feather? ;) Hope everything is going better with you.

    Hugs and Blessings...