Thursday 12 March 2015

Booby Traps!

This post doesn't have the slightest thing to do with spanking, but the clue is in the title.


I was reading Sarah's post (Clear as Mud) that she wrote whilst I was away on holiday. It got me thinking.

Ladies - what do you wear to keep your cherished possessions looking perky?


I am a bit of a bra collector myself. I dare not tell anybody the real number of knickers I possess, but I can reveal that my bra collection isn't far short of it. The snag is that as soon as I discover a beautiful, sexy and comfortable bra, they discontinue the line! 

It has got to the stage where if I find a bra that ticks all the boxes, I immediately rush out and buy several in different materials/colours while they are still available. It is so bad that I often have to sneak them into the house. Dan seems to think I can exist with just three: one to wear, one spare and one in the wash. Ha! What do men know?!


I am neither large nor small. My size must, however, be quite popular because I can rarely find a bra I like that fits me. They all seem to be snapped up like freshly baked cakes!

Just so you know (I am not at all shy) my size is 38C cup. I was once lulled into one of those Parisian-style lingerie shops that measure you and then sell you their most expensive item; they tried to tell me I was a 38DD - ha!!! It was so uncomfortable, and far too large. My boobs just slopped around and the thing nearly ended up under my left ear! I've never been back.

I always wear bras with bones. This is sometimes embarrassing going through airports as I am always searched, and the person doing the searching feels up my boobs and looks at me accusingly. One of these days I am going to strangle them with my bra!

I need the bones otherwise my boobs end up under my armpits. Why I should have boobs that desire to go off in opposing directions, I don't know. But there it is. Dan says that when I am putting on my bra I look as if I am trying to herd up cattle! Humph!

I also have, what Dan refers to, as Continental Nipples. 


You can use your imagination here, and they swell when I am cold, to the size of Chapel hat pegs (as we say in England). 


This means that if I wear anything even vaguely see-through, it is at my peril. 


This brings to mind a very memorable occasion when I was much younger. I forgot to put on a bra, went out shopping in our local town, and arrived home having stopped by to visit with a friend on the way. 

Dan took one look at me when he saw me and nearly had a fit. I wondered what he was getting so wound up about until he forcibly stood me in front of our bedroom mirror. My goodness.


The dress was close fitting pale lawn cotton, and practically see through. I was wearing a half-slip so nothing showed from the waist down, but from the waist up it was a different story completely. It took me several years to ask my friend why she hadn't said anything. She simply said she hadn't liked to as she knew I was just returning from town and she didn't know how to broach the subject.

I love comfortable bras more than anything. These vest-like garments with shelves are just plain awful. The shelves always move upwards and cut me in half the wrong way. I think men must've invented them.

I love satin bras, and also silk. I love pure cotton bras when it is hot. I love lacy bras, and bras with pretty straps that you can flaunt. I even have a bra that describes itself "like wearing a duvet". 


It has a padded sort of ledge that my boobs can nestle into!

I have bras for just about every occasion. 


Full bras, half bras, balcony bras, strapless bras, even a sexy Spanx-type garment (in black with gold lace sides) and with a very challenging (to get into) top half that you can wear both with or without straps.

I very rarely wear bras that match my knickers. I tend to pick out a colour in the knickers, and match the bra to the colour. After all, I sometimes wear, for example, a red top with a red bra underneath, and a white skirt with white or flesh-coloured knickers. 

About once a year I have to "de-clutter" my lingerie drawer. 


It nearly kills me. I have to recline with a very stiff gin after it! 


It is not something one can seek help with. Sigh.

By the way, did you know that over here we have certain charities that send "used bras in good condition" to Africa. 


I think at times that half the female population over there must be wearing my cast-off brassieres! But better than consigning them to the bin. I much prefer the thought that someone, somewhere is enjoying my Ted Bakers, La Perlas, Floozies, Triumphs and even my good old everyday Marks and Spencers!

Just imagine what it must have been like in the days before bras! 

"Cinch me into my stays would you, darling?!"



27 comments:

  1. Ami,

    I have the opposite problem. I am a bit well endowed 44DD and finding a bra the is pretty and can support is nearly impossible unless I spend a fortune. So, I have a very limited supply. HOH would by them if I asked, but I am not a spender. I have shoppers remorse before my items are on the counter ready for the cashier to ring my order up.

    As far as nippleage (is that even a word?), I have to have a padded bra or my nips pop out and say "Hello world!".

    Hugs,

    Kathy

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    1. So you are a voluptuous lady - wonderful! Much better than these pathetic stick insects that stroll up and down catwalks and look as if they've never had a decent meal in all their lives!

      Google "La Senza" brassieres. They are made in England but are Italian design. They are simply marvellous, but they don't make them in my size. They are sooooo pretty! And they are well made too. A matching bra and brief set would be a great birthday pressie.

      Hugs
      Ami

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  2. Ami,
    This post is sheer delight. Did you mention sports bras? I have several and they must be stepped into, but once in place, they do the trick. My favoirte bra, beautiful lace, was discountinued without notification of the person who loved them the most............... ME! So I have kept the last one and the lace has torn, but I still keep it. I think I will write the company requesting that they make it again. I will buy all of them.
    Meredith

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    1. No I didn't mention sports bras. We wear somewhat different designs of sports bras over here and they just look like practical, but more secure, ordinary bras. I used to always wear one for aerobics, but I find that a well fitting ordinary bra with slightly wider straps is just as good. It depends on what sport you plan doing, I suppose.

      I have a good friend who used to be a designer for a very well-known bra company and she explained quite a lot about bras to me. Basically, if you find one that fits, is comfortable, looks good and you like it - stick with it. I just hate it when things are discontinued! I fully sympathise as it's happened to me so many times.

      Hugs
      Ami

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  3. I don't have a lot of bras. Like Kathy pointed out, finding a pretty yet supportive bra in bigger sizes (I'm a 36F) is hard unless you're willing to shell out a lot of money. I actually have to go into the city of one of the better department stores to buy bras because none of the stores in my town carry my size.

    With bra fittings, a lot depends on the person holding the measuring tape. The lady that did my last fitting knew her stuff. She measured and then offered suggestions of specific brands that would work best with my body type. The bra she helped me pick out is the best one I've ever had. It's comfortable to wear for long periods of times, the girls look great in it and it has held up amazingly well to wear. Well worth the $70.

    As for the nipple issue, I have it too, especially in the winter when it gets downright painful because they harden so much. I don't like a lot of padding in my bras so I layer clothes so it's less obvious.

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    1. We are lucky over here as we get the Italian influence so much and they REALLY know their stuff as far as bras are concerned, and cater for the larger sizes in all department stores as well as specialist lingerie shops. You would be spoilt for choice! I often lust after the larger sizes as they are so beautiful these days. And not much more expensive than the standard sized bras.

      Luckily my nipples are large only when aroused, or extra cold. I do, however, put lots of oils and lotions on my body after showering as when you get older your skin dries out if you're not careful and my skin is very fair and marks easily if it rubs. I love some of the modern 'paddings' as they are as soft as down.

      Hugs
      Ami

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  4. LOL Ami...I don't have a lot of bras...don't actually like wearing them and I'm not that big. I do need to wear them when I am wearing thinner tops so that my nips aren't poking out. ;) One of these days, you really need to post a pic of all your bras and panties. *snicker*

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

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    1. Ah, the days of going without a bra..... I remember them well.

      We have a lady on the TV over here who does 'gardening programmes' and never wears bras. She is quite well endowed, well into her forties, and ALL the men lust after her as she's so earthy and sensual.

      Maybe one day I will, but it would take ages to line them all up and I am not sure I would get them all into one picture!

      Hugs
      Ami

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  5. I am a DD like Kathy. I hate how expensive bras are so....I buy them, but really only wear a few. When I find one that minimizes me.....I wear it all the time.
    Being short and well endowed...I am always afraid of popping out! Recently I was encouraged to refrain from bending. I was covered!
    Undies..I love but I buy spanx more often then undies!
    Not sure about the nipple issue!

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    1. DD stands for DANGEROUS DAME. Did you know? Ha!

      Never minimise yourself! Stand those puppies out and brag about them!

      (We all pop out from time to time. Checking the scenery perhaps. Ha!)

      I only have the one Spanx and by the time I have crawled into it I am completely exhausted! It does streamline me, though.

      Hugs
      Ami

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  6. I'm like you Ami, I have way too many and I hate all but a few of them.I cannot tolerate any padding whatsoever and bras today stand up all by themselves. I hate wearing bras and until I got older and they became necessary, I did without them. Now I wear sports bras almost exclusively.

    I did find that Olga made the most comfortable bras for me.

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    1. LOL! Leigh. But I love modern padding as it's so soft and downy. I never even notice I am wearing a bra. I do, however, find cotton or silk best to wear in very hot temperatures. But not much of a problem here.

      I think what you call sports bras are like little cut off vests. Our sports bras are different and much more like ordinary bras.

      I will Google Olga and see when they are like.

      Hugs
      Ami

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  7. Lol Ami! Love this - I'm smiling ear to ear here. I run into the problem of not being able to find my exact size either, and when I do, I snatch up as many as possible because I know I'll never find them again. Spending good money on good bras is absolutely essential. I have friends younger than me who are so saggy because they didn't invest in the proper support - so I'm thankful that my hubby has been pretty supportive (no pun intended lol) of my whole collection. And thankfully, good bras can be as comfortable as they are pretty these days.
    :) Cali

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    1. You are just like me with bras then. Two or three of the same type, or they disappear and you never see them again. I have always been a great 'bra' person. I don't necessarily agree with bras having to be extra expensive though. Sometimes you can hit upon a little gem that doesn't cost much at all. This happened to me some years ago, and I keep going back to buy my everyday bras because they are such good value - and they are pretty too!

      Love your 'supportive hubby'! Mine is as well! Ha!

      Hugs
      Ami

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  8. Hi Ami, As you know after years of being saddled with the most horrendous (both in size and shape) I now have 34D sized boobs.They cost a fortune, are a lovely shape, do not include implants ( that is what everyone says when I tell them I had my boobs made smaller, don't ask me why!). I love them and so does my sweetheart. I have loads of lace and silk confections, would never never wear a padded bra and actually they could get away without any if I chose. I am so lucky as my mum paid for the operation a couple of years ago ending years of pain and misery.
    love Jan,xx

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    1. Oh Jan, you are so sweet! Your bosoms look just fine! I can't imagine how you must have felt before, but I do know someone else who had the same problem.

      Love lace and silk confections! But I do find lace can be very scratchy and love the new soft-type padded bras as my unruly bosoms are herded in better with them.

      Hugs
      Ami

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  9. Ami, Gabe is picky about what bras I wear. He can't stand padding. We only started ttwd in November, so I'm not sure how I'm going to get away with wearing T-shirts and lacy, unlined bra when the weather warms up. He doesn't get the problem. Hopefully, I'll find a solution!

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    1. Layering will help Megan. In the summer, I often wear a tank top with an unbuttoned button-down shirt over it. If layering isn't an option, I try to find shirts with a busy design so any poking out isn't as obvious.

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    2. What does he not like about padding, Megan? Modern padding can be so pretty and comfortable. It can be quite thin - doesn't need to be inches thick! I do have quite a lot of unpadded bras, but my problem is that my skin is very fair and reacts to 'rubbing', and lace often rubs. When I am hot in the summer, my nipples stay flat anyway, but I would find it difficult wearing, for example, a thin white cotton top as you would see the dark circles, which I prefer to keep private. Nipples themselves don't really bother me unless they look ridiculous. My suggestion would be to wear darker tops in smooth silks, not lace. Lace in itself looks quite peculiar under a smooth top. Take Gabe bra shopping with you. Explain to him that the most important thing is that a bra fits well and you feel comfortable and confident when wearing it. No HOH is going to object to that approach.

      Hugs
      Ami

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    3. Sorry, I meant to wear "darker tops over smooth silk or cotton bras".

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  10. Love this post Ami. As I said in my comment on Sarah's post, I refer to my boobs as my pimples lol. I don't have that many bras. I love having pretty straps to show off too.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. I am sure your boobs are not like pimples, Roz! Smaller boobs are just as beautiful as larger ones!

      Pretty straps are so important if there is a chance of them showing. Especially if you are wearing vest tops or camisoles.

      Hugs
      Ami

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  11. Ami, We have a store called Soma Intimates...I wear a a 38 DD so finding bras that fit and hold the girls up is an experience that I don't like to have often...it is frustrating and expensive. I walked into a Soma one day because they were having a sale...She brought me the most comfortable bra I have ever put on...EVER! It is the Embraceble No Show Minimizer. The have underwire, the material is so soft!! And there is enough lining to hide when it is Nipply. Like a kid in a shoe store, I asked if I could wear the thing out of the store.
    Oh and you need to tell your hubby that you are actually not supposed to wear the same bra back to back...your bras will last longer. You have that nice size wear you can actually get pretty colors...alas, my choices are white, nude, and black. Tell him wearing pretty matching underclothes makes you think of him and the bedroom all day...maybe he will be better about it:) LOL
    Bea

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    1. I will have to Google Soma Intimates. Apparently we are very lucky over here with a surfeit of large and beautiful bras in our shops, many with an Italiana designer influence. Google La Senza, Ted Baker and Janet Reger.

      Not sure what you mean about not wearing the same bra back to back. Do you mean not wearing it more than once at a time? I find the straps of my bras go first. They shred. But sometimes I have literally worn a favourite bra into the ground, not bearing to throw it away.

      My mother had the same sized boobs as you and she had some of the most splendid bras. I remember trying them on as a kid. They were just glorious. Flaunt your boobs! Be proud of them! If they are well supported they will look wonderful!

      Hugs
      Ami

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  12. I was a late developer - had AA for a long time and then finally A's and B's and then I had children and breast fed and ta dah! :-) I am a bit overweight and wonder when I lose the extra pounds if that is the first area I will lose...but maybe they will stay as they are. :-) I am similar in size to you and find it difficult to shop for and find bras that I like and do so infrequently...my collection of bras and nickers are both lacking honestly. I did buy a couple of new bras and they are both pretty and practical and a few lace nickers, too, to compliment instead of my typical comfy cottons. :-) Would love to see your collection - they must be very pretty. I hope Dan appreciates them. :-) Hugs

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    1. I'll tell you a secret. I was a late developer too! But when I got pregnant with my first child, my boobs just went 'boom' and have stayed the same size ever since. Sadly they are now heading south for the winter, but I've had a good run with them, and modern brassieres seem able to cope. LOL!

      When I don't know what I want for Christmas, for example, I always ask for bras and knickers. I adore Ted Baker the best, but don't always have luck finding my size. I did, once, venture into the underwear department in Harrods, but it was so overwhelming I snatched practically the first bra that came to hand, and made a quick exit. That was one of the bras I wore into the ground! It was mega comfortable and a see-through black gauzy lace - very soft, with underwiring. I would love to go back and buy another bra from there, but doubt whether I could afford one these days.

      Hugs
      Ami

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