Saturday, 1 June 2013


Has anyone else noticed, that just when you think you've got it sussed, things take a turn?

There have been one or two small happenings in the Starsong household during the last forty eight hours, and once again Starman has pulled my security blanket away from me, and changed direction.

I am looking at the signpost in the hope that I can see in which direction we are headed.  But all I see is this.

It started Thursday morning.  (I know what you are thinking, "Spanky Thursday"!)  But no, not this week.  

"I have lots of things I need to get done today, Ami" Starman told me. "Let's have breakfast and get under way."

I looked at  him meaningfully.  He laughed.  (How I hate that!)

"Not this morning.  I've got...." He reeled off a list of people coming to "do" various jobs around the place both inside and out, as well as his own list of jobs, and also a list of jobs he had decided on for me!

My face must've been a picture.  

"I suppose you're going to take it out of me all day now?" he asked.  "Look, we'll have our session tomorrow morning instead."  And with that he leapt out of bed and made for the bathroom.

I glared and followed him.

"But No 1 son is home tomorrow.  You know that!  They're going to a wedding in the afternoon, and L is coming over to get ready as soon as she has done the horses."

Starman hates being followed into the bathroom.  He says it makes him feel trapped.

He studied my face for a minute.  "Oh I forgot.  Well, never mind, it's not as if I haven't spanked you at all this week.  What about Tuesday?"

"But that was a completely unplanned reminder!"

"Look love, go get breakfast and stop whinging."

Well!  Far be it from me to whinge!  Huh!  I'll show  him, I thought.

So I made breakfast, I cleared up the kitchen, I got on with my job list.  And I didn't whinge once!  Huh!

We were out at supper with a group of friends at a local restaurant in the evening.  We had a great time.  No problems.  (So there!)

Friday morning dawned.  The sun was shining and it woke us up early.  I stretched and tottered downstairs to make our usual morning drinks.

We sat companionably side by side, propped up on pillows, discussing the previous evening and the day ahead of us.  Apart from a fairly low-key fizzing, I felt good.

Starman finished his tea and homed in on my boobs.  Why he finds them so fascinating, I don't know.  But there it is.  

But for once I tried to fend him off.  The low-key fizzing was beginning to climb, and I just wanted to get up, get on, get my laundry started, get some gardening done....

Starman rolled me over on my front and "pinned" me down.  His hands stroked my bottom, then he squeezed my left cheek.  He leant close to my left ear and whispered, "You are mine.  This belongs to me!"

He then proceeded to show me exactly what he meant.

I was speechless.  It was like a sentence out of one of my spanky books.  All I could do was smile, and moan.  Well, I wasn't expecting anything like this, I thought.

No 1 son and girlfriend had the usual "clothing" crisis during the morning.  Actually, it was to be fair, not his girlfriend, she was all sorted out.  But I ended up having to go to his aid ironing a white dress shirt, and then he dashed around shining his shoes and pressing fresh creases into his suit trousers.  They borrowed my car in order to keep themselves clean (turning up at a posh venue in his 'workhorse' of a truck would have ruined the impression!) and off they went.

Starman and I sat on the deck having a leisurely lunch in the sudden peace and quiet.

"So." He turned to me smiling. "I'll have to see to your needs some time today, won't I?"  I'm sure he smirked.

I smiled back.  "Yeah, right." I think I probably replied, before clearing the table and carrying dishes back to the kitchen.

But it's surprising how prickly your butt feels when you think there may be the chance of some action at some point in the near future.  It was a good feeling, but I couldn't help but wonder how good I'd been all week.

It really was a lovely sunny day.  I did loads of laundry and hung it all out to dry, thus pleasing Starman who hates the thought of how much money we pay out to our electricity provider on a daily basis.

Towards supper time, Starman came by the house.  "Right after supper we will be going upstairs" he announced.

My breath caught.  Believe me when I tell you that we have NEVER done this before, NOT EVER!  I even got goose-pimples!



I cooked fresh salmon in white wine, garlic and olive oil, accompanied by a large salad, for supper, and once again we sat relaxing on the deck.

How I managed to eat I don't know.  Part of me was excited and the other part of me was a little nervous.  Ami Starsong was out of her comfort zone!

Supper was, however, a very pleasant meal.  Just the two of us, watching the fish ripple the pond, swallows flying low, bees humming.  It was over too quickly.

I was almost hyperventilating.  Ladies, I now completely understand what it must be like waiting for a disciplinary spanking!  I don't know how you cope!

All too soon Starman looked at me.  "Right" he said.  "Let's get on with it."  (Well, you know Starman by now.)

I looked at him apprehensively.  "What do you want me to do?" I croaked.

"Go upstairs and take off your jeans and knickers."

I couldn't talk.  My throat had closed up.  I turned and slowly made my way up to our bedroom.  I took off my jeans and found I couldn't go any further.  So I sat on the side of the bed, which faces the wardrobe and waited quietly.

Starman came up the stairs and into the bedroom. 

"Are you hiding?" he asked.

"No.  But I didn't know what you wanted to do" I explained.

By now my heart was beating so loudly I was sure he must be able to hear it.  I watched him as he crossed the bedroom and opened the drawer containing our 'implements'.  The rat kept picking one out, holding it up, slashing the air with it a couple of times, and then putting it back.  He swished the perspex ruler more than a couple of times and I could almost see his mind turning over the options.  Luckily he put it back.  I was so relieved when he picked out our pink leather paddle.  It is by far the easiest of anything we have.  I exhaled in relief.  I had been holding my breath.

I looked at him and he regarded me.  

"Okay Ami.  I want you to bend over the footboard."

I gasped.  We only tried that once ages ago.  After one spank I thought my ribcage would collapse.  This is like our bed

So I had some inspiration.  I gathered up our patchwork quilt and folding it, laid it across the wooden end.

"Over you go, then" Starman pushed me over keeping a hand on the small of my back.  "Hmmm. You didn't take your knickers off Ami."

No, I didn't, I thought.  (Really I was wondering whether he might pull them down for me like in the stories.  I was still in a trance.  But he didn't.)

He pulled them up a bit like a thong.  Then he started spanking.

My first thought was 'No warm up then?' but really, this paddle is what he often uses for a warm up, so I wasn't too concerned.


There were moments when I thought I was horizontal!  My legs developed lives independent of the rest of me.  That blessed paddle has NEVER been used like that before!

I gritted my teeth.  This was good for me, right?  

At one point I had thought I would count.  Well that thought soon disappeared!

I know he was talking, but for the life of me I couldn't tell you what he was saying.  All I know is that he was doing what he does best - spanking again and again on the same spot!  I couldn't stay quiet.  I was yelling Ow! and Whatever I did, I'm sorry! and Oh shit this hurts!

He started spanking across both my cheeks.  My eyes began to water, and I thought that maybe I was going to start howling.  But then he stopped.

"Okay.  That's enough for today.  I've got to get on and mow the lawns."

I stood up furiously rubbing my butt, and blinking, heat spreading all over.  Wow!

No hugs.  Nothing.

"That was a bit quick wasn't it?" I asked him.

He had the effrontery to look smug.

"Exactly three minutes."  He was grinning and I felt a bit like swatting him one.  "I timed it.  See you downstairs."  And he was gone.


I stood and craned my neck around and studied my butt in my long mirror.  It looked a bit like glowing coals on a fire!  And there are several welts, where the corner of the paddle landed.

My head was spinning.  Had this just happened?  What was it all about?  Where had it come from?  When had he decided on this type of action?  I was used to the 'going over the knee' type of spanking.

Like this!

Starman had taken the rug and shaken it, and scrambled all of my preconceptions yet again.

So I need to ask you all what is happening - because I don't know.  

What I do know is that Starman is never, ever going to be the type of HOH to enforce rules and regulations.  He's never going to have a set way of spanking.  He won't be pushed and prodded.  He'll dig his heels in all the way.  But left to himself, he will never cease to keep me on my toes.  And I mean that literally, because I kept moving up and down on my toes each time that paddle hit its mark!  

It was very fast and very intense.  For the first time ever, I sat VERY gingerly afterwards, and was quite happy to stay on my feet doing little jobs around the house.  I still have small red welts, and my usual two round bruised spots.

Yet all I did, all evening, was smile.  Although it was very different from my usual weekly 'reconnection', I felt yet another barrier disappear between us.  If anything, it seemed to strengthen our connection.  

Whilst consistency is very good, it isn't exciting.  It doesn't keep me on my toes.  It doesn't make my heart race and my breathing intensify.    

I have absolutely no idea whatsoever where we are or where we are going.  I don't think I care any more.  I am just happy living in the moment.

Starman just isn't a 'lovey-dovey' kind of a man, and he won't ever be.  He doesn't walk along holding my hand, or whispering sweet nothings in my ear.  But he holds all of these things in his heart

and I love his unpredictability.  The words I'll never forget are "You are mine."  I don't think I could reasonably ask for more.  

But as to our journey, and the direction we will take.  Well, who knows?!


  1. This was so cute! I loved reading it and I loved how he said, "You are mine." Those wheels are always turning inside our Hoh's heads! :)

    Have a wonderful day.

    1. Today, in the staff room at work, someone said about her 'husband to be' "I could never belong to any man! And I intend to keep my own name too, because I am my own woman." I nearly choked on my coffee! They are words I will treasure always!

      Thank you Sara.



  2. Wow Ami this is a great post. It sounds like the change and unexpectancy brought a little more spice to it all ;)

    Waiting for a punishment is hard knowing at some point you're going to get your bum smacked, but as you said it keeps you on your toes.

    I've had regular maintenance before, but never at a set time or day, it's the not knowing and not having control over the situation that makes it special.

    You know Starman might not be as you said all lovey dovey, but he shows you how much he loves and cares for you, in different ways. That's a good thing. Books are great, but believe me, if these perfect men existed in this way, we wouldn't need to read fantasy books lol

    You sound happy, it's not the destination, but the journey that counts. You've found what works for both of you, grab it with both hands, enjoy it and be happy for all the small stuff, and the big stuff will follow on it's own.

    Hugs x

    1. You are dead right in your first para! I truly don't know how you cope with 'real' punishments where you are made to wait. Luckily mine are far and few between, and the waiting for one a few weeks ago nearly did my head in.

      I've had what you can only describe as 'irregular' maintenance. But I take what I can get!

      In a strange way it's rather nice knowing our men aren't perfect isn't it? (I do like reading spanky books though. You could say that now I've discovered them I am somewhat besotted. The day I typed 'spanking' into my kindle changed my life in more ways than I can count!)

      It is the journey that counts - I know that now, but it's taken a while for it to penetrate!

      Thanks Missy!



  3. I guess you aren't waiting any longer huh?
    This is great Ami. He IS your HoH. He is doing it his way now and you are doing just what you should be doing, following along to see where he leads. I am so happy for you.

    1. The funny thing is, B B, that with Starman, I never know where I am going to end up! It's been like this all our lives, in lots of different things. I should be used to it, but he still has the power to surprise me. Thanks for your kind comments.



  4. That's why it's called TTWD. The TWD is different for everyone. I think Starman reads you very well and loves you to pieces, just as you do him. What more can you want.

    1. The unexpected is rather delicious Sunny isn't it? (I seem to remember one little incident of you sweeping with your broom.....) LOL!

      He is such a wonderful husband - especially when I think of what I have forced him into this last six months! (But now, even he says that he is reaping some benefits! Ahem!)



  5. Oh Bless Ami, what an unexpected pleasure!!
    love Jan.xx

    1. It certainly was Jan. (How's the paddle - seen much use lately?! LOL!)



  6. Ami, great post! It seems as if your situation could be compared to a driving vacation with Starman. The fun and exciting part for you is that you don't know the destination, but you are just having a really great adventure enjoying the ride!

    May your all your travels be filled with great times and a few special surprises along the way.



    1. George you come up with the sweetest things! At times is has been rather more like a roller coaster, but the road surface seems quite smooth for once. I think that was one of our best days yet. Being surprised does us all good every once in a while.

      Thanks George for your kind comments.



  7. Starman is perfect for you. I sometimes wonder what he is reading...LOL.
    I love his smug look and timing the spanking for exactly 3 minutes.
    He sure knows how to keep the romance alive, you on your toes and not sitting on your bum!

    1. I wonder the same Minelle! But what the heck was with the timing! Only he could think to do that! (Do you know, I still have some marks from that darned leather paddle, and here was I thinking what a sweet little thing it was! Huh!) On my toes has come to mean something entirely different these days.



  8. Very cute Ami,

    Love how Starman said "this is mine" (words I hear quite regularly too) and the smug look. I would say Starman is gaining more confidence and getting more comfortable in his HoH hat. He is leading his way. Good on you for following his lead and not questioning.

    They do like to keep us on our toes don't they? While our spankings usually happen at a set time of day and there are certain 'rituals' surrounding them, Rick finds ways to make each experience different and keeps me on my toes. I never fully know how things are going to go. I have also been surprised a few times by having my arm caught, walked over to the couch, or marched to the bedroom and being pulled OTK without so much as a word ... until he starts spanking that is!


    1. Golly Roz, do you really? You know, I quite understand that some people may not like that, but I most definitely do!

      I still find it very very difficult not to control, and I am sure I fail sometimes. It isn't a case of being subservient. Just standing back and letting go a little more each time. I felt light as air afterwards, and it has dawned on me that he must have known exactly how much I could cope with. It wasn't a punishment, so I am very glad he didn't push me too far, as I now have a bit more confidence.

      That sounds good that Rick keeps you on your toes too. It creates quite a frisson of excitement doesn't it? I like seeing someone further along than us in terms of experience etc, and having that great feeling of anticipation. Almost makes me drool!



  9. I do want to complement you on staying on task when things didn't work out as expected....that is SO hard to do!

    I do hope this isn't new unpredictable Starman...I never know when to expect what and it drives me crazy. They seem to have their own ideas that is for sure.

    1. Well, I haven't had it long enough to know whether I will be driven crazy or not Betsy. There's unpredictability, and then there's unpredictability! Hmmmm.

      I think I'll go with it and hope for the best. Right now I feel quite good with it.



  10. OH dear Ami, don't you know by now you should never make statements like, " I do know is that Starman is never, ever going to ..."? Starman of all people isn't as predictable as you claim he is. He is always surprising you in one way or another. If you don't believe me go back and reread your own words!

    I do think that your consistency is very good isn't very exciting is a little off though. Being consistent doesn't always mean a planned ritual on a given day. To me it just means that he is going to do what he says, or that he will react to the same triggers agreed upon. BUT that is merely my interpretation of the word in ttwd.

    Happy you feel in a good place in your thing you do !


    1. I know Willie. I really should stop thinking aloud, but the snag is, when you don't have a clue what you are doing half the time, you even start talking to yourself! I do like the unpredictability, but unfortunately I get so easily confused. You should meet me in real life. I can be quite exhausting. Starman often spends ages explaining something detailed to me, only for me to shake my head at him in despair.

      Oh. That's how I thought of consistency. Like a ritual. He admits that he is very comfortable with rituals. And they bore the socks off me after a bit. So when he climbs up out of that wagon rut, it immediately puts a bit smile on my face, even if it puts rather more colour into my cheeks than I had previously anticipated. LOL!

      Thanks, I mostly feel in a good place. Just sometimes when things go awry, or like everyone else, I have a bad day. It's really beginning to bother me that good old "bitch/troll" hasn't been much in evidence of late. I haven't eaten much in the way of chocolate lately, and it is beginning to have an effect. I know it's not good for me, but that old craving isn't far away. Poking the bear is the same sort of feeling. I have to physically reach out and snatch back that stick at times!



  11. I love the picture you found, with the "you were just here" and etcetera. Exactly! If there's one (more) important thing I've learned in this journey, it's that it's always and ever evolving.

    Things don't stand still for long.

    Oh, and hohs often surprise us with growth spurts. Just sayin ;) Once I wrote a post about Growth Spurts and Growing Pains, lol.

    Great post, Ami!

    1. Hi there Stormy! You are so right. If I was any good at maths I could probably do some sort of estimation of where I was going to be in a week or two's time. But frankly, I neither know nor care at present.

      It reminds me of a log flume I once went on with Starman and the kids at Busch Gardens. It was so lovely. Really pretty and very soothing and pleasant. Then would you believe it! Right at the end there was a forty (or so) feet nearly sheer drop! I kid you not, I have the picture, I nearly wet myself! I screamed all the way down! And that's how I view all this in a way. I glide along gracefully enjoying the scenery and the company, then suddenly I am upended!!!

      Ah the pleasures of life!

      (I am going to look up your post on Growth Spurts now!)



  12. I do not know what key turns in their HoH brains, but something does and they go and do new things and make our little heads explode. I can remember lots of times where MM was having a growth spurt and I wasn't. It was very disconcerting but kinda nice. Hummm, I wonder when he will surprise me with another one? :)

    Enjoy Ami--you have a very good man!

    1. Thanks Susie. I suppose that the reason I feel confused is because I have decided to try to 'just live normally' and see what happens. I am such a control freak that I found it extremely hard to let go completely. But the fact that he can surprise me has given me confidence, and instead of doing nothing but think about this dynamic and wonder what direction I should be propelling him in, I am increasingly just leaving it to him. There are times I would like to dig in my spurs and hustle, but the wrong person would be doing all the controlling then wouldn't they? It comes down to trust. If I put things in his mind then I am doing the controlling. But if I keep my jaws clamped firmly shut, then he is free to make the decisions, and therefore he has the control. Difficult at times, and often slow as a slug, but the little twists and turns make up for it. One of these days I'm going to go to the starts of all of your blogs and see what happened when you all began!

      Many hugs


  13. What a lovely post. Starman is being a HoH and doing it his way.

    Always expect the unexpected that what P tell me:)


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