Tuesday 2 July 2013

Being a Grump!

It is one of those days!  One of  those weeks!


Do you have them?  Oh well, if you do, then you know what I am talking about.

You get up out of bed, and it's apparent from the minute your feet hit the floor, that you got out the wrong side.


Dan is working away at the moment and having been awake since 4am for the last two mornings, and having stayed behind at school to write copious end of year progress reports and work out predicted grades for next year, I am feeling pretty much knackered.


Even the children at school have been giving me a wide berth.  My year nines virtually walked on their eyebrows during their lesson this morning - so much so that I gave them all a 'merit'.  (They could see I'd had a very fraught lesson with my year eights!)  

I have three weeks left of my summer term before we break up for six weeks.  Before I break up for ever!  It can't come soon enough.  The term is always filled with meetings before or after school, concert rehearsals, school trips, end of year exams, reports, assessments, sports day, open day - in fact you name it, and they cram it into the last half term!

It doesn't help that I am beginning to feel nervous that I have decided to retire.  What if I have made a mistake?  What if I get bored?  What if I don't like being a 'kept woman' after all these years?


All I do these days is wake up in the middle of the night, Dan snoring peacefully by my side, and toss and turn and worry, worry, worry.

Dan and I are completely at odds with each other.  He is a bit grumpy, and I am a lot grumpy!


We are soon going to be putting the barn on the market.  I think that this is one of my main reasons for stress.  The plan is to move back into the farmhouse, and then eventually sell that too - and down-house.  After over thirty years here, I can't tell you how tough that is.  But it is now all too much for us.  We want to travel, and enjoy some 'us' time for a change.  

Dan wants to move somewhere more convenient.  Where we can actually walk to the pub for a start, or to the village shop.  But most of the villages here don't have shops any more, due to the large out of town supermarkets and shopping centres, and several of the pubs seem to have closed around us recently due to increased brewery charges, lack of customers due to the drink drive laws, and meals which are far too expensive.  (Our local pub was charging around £40 per person for a two course meal - without drinks!  £17 for a  hamburger!  And we don't even live near London!)

But I like living in the middle of nowhere and I can't cope with the thought of close neighbours.  We rent out our farmhouse at the moment and I hate the lack of privacy.  I love being solitary.  Grump.  Grump.  And naturally, Dan will be the deciding factor in all of this.  Even before TTWD he was the final decision-maker.  He has always been so good at 'reasonable discussion'!  Now, of course, I get the raised eyebrow, or the 'look' or even a word of caution.  Which at the moment I am choosing to ignore to the best of my ability!



Normally this is me.  But not at the moment.  

At the moment I am on the lookout to pick a fight with all and sundry.  I simply can't help myself.  

It's so stupid.  I always seem to be able to give other people the benefit of my advice; to be able to tell them where they are going wrong; to explain to them how very good their husbands are and that they shouldn't snarl at them if sometimes things don't go their way.  But when it's me - it's another story completely.


Go on test me!  I'll bet I know all the answers!


I've been like this all week!

But now Dan has begun to look like this


He is always such a peaceful and reasonable sort of man.  But I know he's not going to take much more of it.  If I auditioned for the lead female role in the Taming of the Shrew at the moment, I would win hands down!

Whatever is making me like this is going to have to be stopped in its tracks.  Unfortunately I can only think of one solution to the problem.  I want to feel like this again.


But in order to feel like this I may have to summon some assistance.


If only it was as easy as this.

Alas, I'm pretty sure a completely different solution is on the cards, and I don't even have to go to a fortune teller to find out what that is.


I've happily asked for many a spanking - but not for the sort I know, in fact I have been assured, I am in for.

I just hope that it will work, and that it will sort me out and bring out my nicer side once more.  I had forgotten just how destructive a mood like this can be.


The whole point is that I am most definitely not enjoying myself.  I feel nasty, vindictive and horrible.  

So Daniel is going to have to venture back into the lions' den once again, and rescue me.

  

Only I think he will be carrying something far more lethal than a (whatever it is in the picture above!).

I so want to get back to how I usually am!



27 comments:

  1. I was raised by teachers and I quickly learnt to tread on egg shells by the end of term. Both long retired; I'm grateful they live in a rural village which still does have shops and pubs. Rural English life is not the same since out of town supermarkets took over :(
    Here's hoping the grump goes soon.
    hugs
    DF

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    1. Well, I actually managed to get through the night only waking a couple of times for once, although I never sleep particularly well when Dan is away from home. And we have five pesky semi-tame crows that will insist on pecking on the glass front door around dawn just in order to inform their reflections that they won't have any usurpers around their neighbourhood! Other people have blackbirds and starlings and bluetits at their bird feeders - we have crows! What does that say for us!!!

      I am sure the grump will soon be liberated!

      I forgot you live in the UK! That's a little handful of us now. Makes me feel very much at home!

      Hugs

      Ami

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  2. Ami dear...I do believe you have been hanging round Minelle too much...both of you have a case of the grumps!

    Ya do realize the cure for the grumps are quite a few thumps? And I don't mean of the good girl kind!

    Sheesh...ya definitely need to get rid of the grumps before Thursday!!!

    Dang woman...you have many talents...just because you stop teaching doesn't mean you can't do anything else! You can get a part time position at a shop or start tutoring or even volunteer at the local hospital or charity shop.

    Sending lots of positive and healing energy your way.

    Hugs, Love and Blessings,
    Cat

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    1. Cat!!! How great to have you back commenting. Hope your arm is improving by the minute! Minelle and I go together well don't we? Right from the start I knew she and I would hit if off with our shared 'grumps'! Grumps and thumps eh?! Gosh! But I know exactly what you mean. LOL!

      I am soooooo looking forward to Thursday! Minelle and I can grump happily and you can harangue us from the balcony seats!

      I am definitely aiming to do some volunteering and have a lovely little 'arts' charity in mind that helps teenagers and young people who have no where to go socially, and would hang around the streets and get into trouble otherwise.

      I really do need your positive and healing energy at the moment, thank you!

      Hugs back at you,

      Ami

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  3. Ami, I retired after 32 years at my first job and I can tell you that retirement is great!!! I know the idea of retiring is scary, but take it from someone who has been there, you will not regret it!

    I did get another job, but it is a dream job that I have always wanted, so it is not really like work. If you get bored you can always do something like that that also.

    As far as your being in an ill mood, well, that price for a hamburger is outrageous and that alone would put me in a grumpy mood! However, you are just going to have to do what it takes to get past that! (and the sooner the better) If you read my blog today, I kind of had to take the same action :-)

    Blessings and hugs,
    George

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    1. You know George, I did read your blog and it got me to wondering whether men can get these same mood swings as we do. I'll swear that Dan had a really good 'bratting' fit the other day! Unfortunately I know from experience that not only to relieve my stress, but to relieve his stress too he needs to attack MY backside with vigour! I suppose this is where the 51% rule comes into play?! LOL!

      You are extremely lucky getting a dream job after retirement! I want, very much, to concentrate on my writing - I just don't have the time whilst working, because even working part-time there is still the same amount of paperwork to do, which hardly seems fair, but that is the way of things. I know we should be looking forward to spending more time together and with retired friends, and especially doing some more travelling; but it is the fear of the unknown, and moving out of our comfort zones once again! Dan is the same age as you George, and he is retired apart from maybe a couple of days a month, which he says he likes as it keeps his brain alert. LOL!

      The price of that hamburger is the truth - but the pub has now closed and the brewery is looking for new tenants to take over the lease. We all hope they will go back to serving good old fashioned steak and fries, and roasts on a Sunday etc. These new-fangled 'designer' meals look pretty, but you only get about three mouthfuls, and you pay a fortune. The hamburgers were made out of some special Japanese beef that a local farmer breeds to sell to expensive London restaurants like Jamie Oliver's place. All well and good, but not for a tiny, rural English village! The local male villagers such as the farmers had all but stopped calling in for their pint of strong Abbots Ale of an evening and the place was just empty and dead.

      I'm certain Dan will attend to the current situation when he returns. Like me, he will have had time to consider things - and how to address them!

      Hugs

      Ami

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  4. Okay first of all...CAT! I didn't realize you picked up on that....LOL. Sheesh! Sorry!
    Ami...you are a nut. Give yourself a break. Let Dan help you de-stres.
    Retiring is the right decision for your mental health so you will make it work.I think George is right..you can do something else if you desire or get bored.
    Try not to over think things....I know...I know!

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    1. Minelle, you can't say anything around here - surely you should know that by now! All these "people" hounding us! Good job our other friend is on holiday! Or we would have the two of them coming after us.

      And also, friend, both you and I over think things - you know we do. It's the artistic temperament coming out! Throw the shoe first, then regret it later when we discover we've broken the window! Impulse versus reasoning! LOL!

      I'll just be glad when July is out of the way, for more reasons than I wrote about Honey.

      Hugs

      Ami

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  5. Every teacher I know goes through that angst at term's end. Jut think about how much time you will have for you once you have retired. Take it from me, it's great and all that time manages to fade away.

    Moving and downsizing is not easy. It's a horrible chore but the rewards are worth the hassle.

    Understand needing some help to get over the grumps. I could use some myself right about now. This unbearable heat is getting me down.

    Petruchio (Dan) will come in and take care of his sweet Kate (Ami) and the shrew will be tamed once again.

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    1. If you knew how I wished I had a formula to pipe in just a tad of your heat, I would patent it! I can manage up in the eighties, but once it goes into the nineties and over, count me out, especially without air-con.

      My heart goes out to those brave, brave men who lost their lives fighting those awful wildfires. We watch on the news with horror and compassion. They are such heroes.

      If I was you, I would tie up at the nearest water hole and spend my days dunking myself. The only good thing you can say about heat is that it is slimming as you only ever want to eat salads and fruit for the best part.

      It will be great getting up when I want to in the mornings, instead of when I have to. I suspect I will probably get up reasonably early, just because I will be able to please myself instead of being forced to commute to the city. And I certainly will not, ever, miss all the admin these days that's tied up with teaching! And more time to write too, and do my patchwork, and even get back to some artwork.... And read all of your, PK's, Ana's and everyone else's wonderful stories!

      Grumping is horrid and I don't know why we do it. It's as if nothing is right. The only snag is that I dread the bath brush! I haven't had it for such a long time and it hangs there in our bathroom looking so innocent - and unused for the purpose it was made for! However, it's the purpose it's used for and not intended for that worries me! LOL!

      I think The Taming of the Shrew was written for people like us don't you? They knew one or two things in those days!

      Hugs

      Ami

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  6. Go back and read my post as I was closing out my year. No one was safe around me. I think Nick was scared to come near me, much less try to spank me. But it would have helped. If you have any seconds thought about retiring I'll be glad to email you as I start the next year. I have a boss that is an idiot and 2 of my 3 partners are truly crazy. You start to miss it and I'll be glad to talk to you!

    Hugs,
    PK

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    1. I remember Minelle telling me how stressed you were PK! It seems to be the lot of a teacher to get stressed these days, and I never remember getting like this years ago. Teaching has changed and that's the truth. I'm sick to death of keeping kids in for lunchtime detentions and as a consequence having to miss my lunch because of their bad behaviour!

      I once worked in a very large school where my head of department and I clashed horns every week, sometimes every day! It was awful. I gave in my notice and moved on after nine years. Now, would you believe, we are best of friends! It seems we were both such strong women in the work place, that we both wanted to lead. (I had been head of department in my previous school for many years.) It didn't work. Does that scenario remind you of anything perchance?

      I may just take you up on your offer to remind me of the craziness of school life when, if ever, I get fed up and grumpy in the future!

      Hugs

      Ami

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  7. Oh Ami :(

    Sorry at some bits of this post you had me giggling. I know it's hard and not funny, but you have a way with words lol

    I'm jus sat here waiting for the hair dye to work, so don't have much time and you've been given some very good advise so who am I to tell you what to do haha oh wait yeah I'm the one with a big mouth that can't stay out of things hehe

    So end of school stress??? Yes I'm not even the teacher, but with four monsters, I can only imagine how hard it is for the teachers :( but hey it's going to end soon, keep that in mind.

    Retiring must be scary, but hey look at it not as an end, but a new beginning, you've worked hard, made something of yourself and life, raised your kids, now it's time to grab life with both hands and enjoy what you worked so hard for. It's exciting, if you let it be, just take a deep breath and smell your roses and make a cuppa, sit on your porch and pull yourself back up :)

    About the house, well yes it's hard to leave the home you made together for many years, but think of how muh less cleaning you will have to do, and all the travelling that you're going to be doing. Going places and experiencing new things.

    Ok my timer has just rang, need to wash my hair lol

    Thinking of you, and about the spanking, it will do you good, hhhhmmmmm where is that rose paddle I wonder ;)

    Hugs x

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    1. Missy! You do your own hair dye?! Come over here and do mine so I don't have to pay astronomic prices like I do at the moment!

      I am positive your children are not monsters! But I do remember the days well! And I only had two of them!

      Today I phoned up to get my pension organised. I feel about a hundred! And all Dan could say was "Just think, you don't have to go out any more to earn it." Typical man!

      We still have estate agents coming in and out and I never realised how much they differ. Some are perfectly horrid. We are trying to carry on as normal but it is very difficult to keep the house tidy all the time.

      You might be interested in the fact that I got the rose paddle this morning. Dan couldn't cope with my attitude any longer, and I have to admit that I was hating myself so much that I think if he hadn't turned me over his knee I would have rugby tackled him to the ground and insisted on it.

      Now, I'm not so sure. On a 1 to 10 it was a definite 8 if not higher. No one ever told me that the pain and swelling can come on several hours after the event! LOL! As I sat in the hairdressers today a bag of frozen peas would have been good. And no one told me that you could get paddle-shaped marks either! LOL!

      You said I crack you up - well you should just take a look at my rear end! You would laugh so much you would need reviving!

      Hugs

      Ami

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  8. Hi Ami,

    You have some wonderful advice above already. You are tired and stressed which is completely understandable with the end of term and retiring, plus down sizing. Both big and naturally scary changes.

    You know retiring is the right decision, and you have so many talents I doubt you will be bored.

    As Missy said, take a deep breath and smell your roses. I hope Dan helps you de-stress and that you are able to kick the grumps to the curb.

    ((Hugs))
    Roz

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    1. Funnily Roz, the tiredness and stress have now paled into insignificance! LOL! Now I completely understand some of your 'older' posts! Good grief the man has come on in leaps and bounds!

      I think that once the term has finished I won't feel so bad. And in September when everyone is returning to school, I will be going around with a big grin!

      Hugs

      Ami

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  9. Hi Amy,
    Now that summer is here I have not had the chance to visit here as much. I, too, have been in a grumpy mood. Wish there was a cure. :-) Oh, wait, there is??? :-) If only...

    I can understand - there is a lot going on for you right now. Entering the unknown can be a scary place. Once you are there, you will figure everything out. In the meantime I hope you get some stress relief soon to make you smile. Thinking of you and sending hugs, Terpsichore

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    1. I can firmly state that there is a cure Terps! And I got given it this morning! But you know, I feel as if a cloud has lifted. It doesn't happen around here very often, but Dan seems to know just when I need it!

      And you wretch! You didn't explain just how that rose paddle can be administered when necessary! Good grief! Big paddle shaped bruises! All over! My goodness I am using arnica like its going out of fashion! LOL! Just my luck to have a fair English skin!

      Thanks for the hugs! Back at you!

      Ami

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    2. well, I am glad that you found a willing participant to administer the cure. :-) Now, as for being a wretch...I did tell you more than once that I am a wimp and that my husband is very gentle on me...so I cannot help if your man knows how to use the paddle properly...just don't tell mine how it can be used and I will forgive you for calling me names :-) LOL
      sending hugs and frozen peas... :-)

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  10. Hugs, Ami!
    You'll love not being tied down to a job. I'm retired, I guess lol. For now, anyway. I remember my last few weeks of working were stressful and annoying, lol. It's because you know the 'end' is coming and you just want it to hurry up lol.
    You will be fine. Change is scary :)
    Love,
    Elle :)

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    1. Hi Elle! How are you?! And retired? You have your delightful and exhausting little ones, so you are busy all the time. Enjoy them whilst they are small. They soon grow up and then the troubles begin!

      I am hoping your Fireman is okay and not involved in these awful fires in Arizona. My heart goes out to all the families of those fireman who were lost. They are the bravest of the brave.

      Change is scary, but I am sure I will cope. It's more the thought than anything.

      Hugs

      Ami

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  11. Mmm mm mm, Ami. Yes we all know where this is leading.

    We all have our anxious times and I know you will get through yours. A lot of it is the stress of work. It sounds like you're planing your changes in stages and that will make it easier.

    Yes, we men have our anxious stressed out times too. I've found that sex is a great cure for us men. :).

    But we all know what needs to happen in your case. I'll not wish you a happy spanking, just a happy post-spanking.

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    1. Oh, and sex is a great stress buster for women, too! But some of you have special needs, in addition.

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    2. We most certainly do Mick! Hi there by the way, haven't seen you around much and was just working up to an email to ensure you were both okay.

      Also, when will I know if you have started your new blog, because nothing seems to have registered on mine and I did answer your kind email.

      Come September I will feel so much happier when everyone else is back in the classroom. It's just the thought of actually being a "pensioner". I do not feel like one! It's a horrid thought!

      Oh come on Mick - sex is great for all of us, not just you men. Even better these days (now I wonder why that is?! LOL!) with more time to get creative!

      I may not have earned a big "barn warmer" but it most definitely leaned that way. I am now feeling in a much better mood and less stressed. Our new rose paddle has come to the rescue! Can I recommend it to you? No? Oh well.....

      So glad to have you back my friend!

      Hugs

      Ami

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  12. Oh Ami, Come on babe, pull your self together. Retiring is going to be great, you will be able to do so much and get on with the book. As I am writing this it is Thursday mid morning and I bet Dan has already sorted things out. Feel better now??
    I have no advice on the move except to say make sure you have somewhere to go to get away from everyone else. Best you ask Stormy's advice on sheds lol. Everything will work out for the best in the end, Give me a ring if you need to vent, speak soon
    love Jan.xx

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    1. I will Jan, I will. I've been busy writing this week and have nearly finished my Fantasy Friday story, but it's almost like a novella! I need to tidy it up a bit before I send it to PK.

      Dan sorted me out this morning and was it a "whaler". Good grief. Thank goodness we don't have your arsenal! I am wondering how long it will take to wear in this leather paddle. It has left some very big reminders all over my now very tender butt!

      Hugs, and thanks,

      Ami

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  13. Go Dan! Very proud of you...please don't let Ami get so far out of control before employing this tried and true method of getting her in line. ;)

    Ami...don't know about your area, but many of us in the US color our own hair...some more successfully than others. LOL

    Have a lovely weekend.

    Hugs and Blessings,
    Cat

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