Sunday 4 January 2015

Chronicles of Starsong Land - Part I

Sometimes something relatively innocent can lead to the type of waters that run deep and are full of currents.



This is the first part of a series of chronicles, mostly thoughts, incidents and snippets of everyday life in Starsong Land.

We both had various "bugs" over the Christmas period. I am not going into them. We are both better now. But I need to get everything into "context". It helps to explain our interactions. Moods up one day and down another. You know how it can go.

We sat (flumped would be the better word) one evening and the TV was an absolute disgrace. After moaning at length, I suggested to Dan that we watch a film neither of us had seen, but which I had recorded as one of my favourite actresses, Meryl Streep starred in it.



We both mistakenly thought it would be a comedy - funny and easy to watch. Not the case. But the strange thing was that it made quite an impression not only on me, but also on Dan, and we were still discussing it the next morning.

The film was Hope Springs. No doubt you have all heard of it and watched it. Dan and I are pretty hopeless with films. We rarely go to the cinema and prefer to watch them in the comfort of our home, often, as we usually do in the winter, with a roaring log fire, various snacks to nibble, and Dan in his favourite armchair and me on the smaller of the two sofas periodically fanning myself as I begin to get too hot.

We were both completely engrossed by this film, Dan because part of his doctorate was in behavioural psychology and me because part of my masters was in reflective psychology. (Believe me, our household is a funny place!) The reason we were so engrossed was because we saw ourselves in the two main characters. It sums up what excellent actors they are.

I was reminded of when I first approached Dan with the request that he should spank me. But more than that, it reminded us both of how we once were, way back before TTWD; way back before I had read or even heard of Fifty Shades.


If you have been with us since I started to blog, you will remember that I described the way our lives together had become rather like two people living in the same house, who just happened to be married.



There was nothing wrong with our marriage, per se, but frankly, it was often as boring as hell. We were both working full time, the kids were grown up and virtually off our hands, and all the magic had disappeared. 

Remember that magic when you first set up home together? Remember the sex and how dynamic and exciting it was? 



Remember the little conversations that mostly reverted to verbal foreplay and usually ended up in bed? 

Ha!

I don't remember now why or how it happened, but I most certainly do remember after one notable altercation and makeup, resolving things were going to change, or it would probably be the end of us and our marriage. 

Neither of us were to blame, although I think I was the bigger culprit than Dan. 



I was bossy, mouthy, full of myself, and I never listened and often interrupted; I was always ready to criticise - Dan or anyone; and as for sex, well, what can I say?! No excitement, no joy, and an eternal headache! 




I did a great deal of soul-searching and made up my mind that I needed to initiate change into our lives.



I don't remember what order I did things in, but I went on a diet, had my hair cut and some tiny orange streaks put in it, bought lots and lots of sexy underwear, 



and then when we went on holiday I took some cherry flavoured lube and a vibrator.



(I have to mention here that had the picture above been of me, my boobs would've been hanging out all over the place!)


I told Dan we would be having sex every single day, and I would be initiating some memorable action he had probably given up all hope of ever having the pleasure of.




He came back from that holiday more tired in some ways than when he went! But we both had smiles on our faces that lasted and lasted. 



I did my best to carry on at home the same as when we had been away.




And then came along Fifty Shades.



We had so many "brown paper packages" arriving at our house that Dan began to get alarmed. 

Some of the stuff we tried, and then didn't bother with it again. 



Some of the stuff we liked so much we practised hard so we would be better at it. It opened up a whole new world to us, so whilst some of your curl your lips at dear old Fifty, there are some of us who are wholeheartedly thankful the book was written.



And of course - it led me to you!

What came out of watching Hope Springs was the fact that without communication, you are lost. 



To learn to communicate with each other, all over again, is like climbing Everest. 



It's so difficult to begin, but once you have started, you need to keep plugging away at it, and suddenly you find the going is much easier than you had thought it would be.

Dan says that when I asked him so spank me that first time, he initially thought I had at last gone a bit batty, and then he thought it was a phase and that I would stop wanting it as soon as I realised a spanking could hurt. 

He admits that he wasn't at all happy to spank the woman he had been married to for over thirty years. There are still lines he positively will not cross, and I steer away from them without comment. I have learned that when you least expect it, Dan can suddenly change his mind about something. 



He absolutely will not restrain me in any way by tying my hands or feet; and he hates using a belt with a vengeance, (despite having used one on at least one very, very memorable occasion!) and loathes the marks a belt makes. (This harkens back to his boyhood when one was used on him by his dad and never forgotten.)



(He has, however, had to hold my hands on more than one occasion to prevent me reaching back and injuring myself.)

Yet he has no problem with most other things, and I know to my peril how much he loves "wood". He ignores the marks made by spoons, paddles, spatulas and rulers. They make no impression on him - just on me!

It's hard telling your fantasies to another person. 



You need to trust them 100%. There's nothing worse than having your dreams trampled on. But fulfilling fantasies is not necessarily easy, nor is it something you can do in just a couple of nights/days. It takes time, effort and practice. We are most certainly still a "work in progress", and there are some aspects that we have realised we should have started on twenty years ago! 

My fantasy of being spanked has turned into something I am not always madly keen on if you know what I mean? (A dark and meaningful narrowing of the eyes here.) 



Dan's fantasy of my sleeping knickerless and mostly nightieless, in the warm weather anyway, is something I have taken a while to get used to, but is now a very pleasurable experience. (He ALWAYS strokes my bare behind when he joins me in bed at night regardless of the hour or whether I am asleep or not.) 



Dan has told me that he 'owns' my bottom and likes uninhibited access to it. Hmmm...


We have other fantasies. In fact we are still working through the list. The fun we have gives me such a warm fuzzy feeling.


Dan has proved that he is much more open to change than the character played by Tommy Lee Jones in Hope Springs. 

Thank goodness I realised in time that age is no barrier to making life more exciting, more sexy and above all else, more fun.



32 comments:

  1. Ami,
    You and Dan look wonderful out there dancing on the sand. Yes, it is fun most of the time. Great post about your discovery to ttwd. Quite charming indeed. In your next chapter for us, are you discussing the % question. Keep writing. I love a story that is never ending.
    Meredith

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    1. LOL! We have danced on the sand in real life, but it's not easy you keep tripping up if you're not careful. We've also done 'limbo dancing' on the beach. Hilarious! I think I was a bit inebriated at the time.

      That blessed percentage is now appearing several times a day, like a new toy. It has caused more discussion than the state of the economy!

      Hugs
      Ami

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  2. Ami, I concur with you. You are never too old to take a look at your life and make a change to things that are more exciting and fun. I don't want to waste the best half of my life just passing the time together. Your post gave me a warm, happy feeling. Thank you for your thoughts and happy New Year.

    Linda B.

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    1. I think one of the best things was when family and friends began to notice how Dan and I were intereacting. I remember my SIL remarking about how I had ceased to argue with Dan over small things like choosing a menu when in a restaurant.

      Once we had started to make changes, they came easier. Not without hiccups from time to time, but as communication between us improved we felt more comfortable with each other, and you are certainly never too old to have fun.

      Thank you for commenting, and a Very Happy New Year to you as well.

      Hugs
      Ami

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  3. I love your chronicles and I agree with you - you are never too old to have fun and learn and embrace new things.

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    1. Sometimes I want to laugh out loud with joy. The outcome to the changes we made to our lives has amazed us both.

      Hugs
      Ami

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  4. Your chronicles are much like our overall. I too lost weight and changed my hair. I love sleeping nude for many of the reason you mentioned. But while Nick has no problems with the belt, but rarely spanks for 'reason' of course he was doing pretty good there for a while, but we've had people in our empty nest for a long time now. I hope your chronicles continue.

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    1. I know; life gets in the way every now and again, but you will shortly be back to normal, and I think Nick is becoming more and more observant of your needs and is very open to suggestion. You have a wonderful man there.

      Hugs
      Ami

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  5. I loved reading...one is never too old to add some fun and spice to their lives.
    hugs abby

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    1. So true, Abby. I even found myself in a supermarket recently stopped by the wooden spoons in the household section, and just grinning from ear to ear. People must've thought I was a crazy woman. And I dislike wooden spoons fervently! And our spatula even more! LOL!

      Hugs
      Ami

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  6. Wonderfully stated here Amy. For those of us a bit older, we know that age is not a barrier but our minds and thoughts can limit possibilities. Changes take courage and alot of dedicated hard woork and commitment but they are so worth the effort. Wishing you both the best in the new year with continued growth.

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    1. It can be easy to become discouraged if things don't work out the first time, but it's a bit like Robert the Bruce and the Spider - try try try again. Then if you still don't like it - forget it. So far the changes we have made have been nothing short of miraculous. Until then, we thought our lives were fine, hardly different from anyone else's. Now we have little 'secrets' with TTWD, and we continually smile, or glance at each other, like a hidden code.

      Wishing you both a Very Happy New Year too!

      Hugs
      Ami

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  7. This was WONDERFUL Ami! :) I'm with you- I give great credit to the Fifty Shades books. They were a catalyst in this whole thing. Had I not read them, I never would have found the land. Or any of this... Also- I will admit that I enjoyed the books. I did!

    It is all very interesting how our men, such gentle, loving, kind men took to all the spanking stuff. And I had a knowing laugh when you mentioned Dan "owning your bottom". Rob feels the same way and it is pretty sexy... except for those times when my spanky man gets a bit too spanky!! What a journey it has been so far, right?

    I agree- it is all about communicating. So let me say that with that, you two rock! I mean- at our age I think that carrying on in this regard is a very very amazing thing. May it never end! Many hugs and love,

    <3 Katie

    PS. Rob and I saw this movie some time ago. I too LOVE Meryl Streep. In any movie! xox

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    1. Katie, I am still howling with laughter about your big Mr Spanky Man! Don't forget to tell him that little Yappy here will chase him round the kitchen and chew his heels like a miniature Rottweiler! LOL!

      The communication within a relationship is the very most important thing. But it is 'how' we communicate. It is so difficult - I know because I get spanked for 'attitude' more than any other thing!

      Not sure about the 'rocking'! I literally have to 'lever' Dan on to a dance floor these days! LOL!

      Hugs
      Ami

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  8. What a wonderful post Ami! I have wanted to see Hope Springs but haven't yet...from the previews I remember, it looked as if it would be good.

    I'm happy that quite a few of my friends have come to TTWD and blogland via 50 Shades but I will never agree that those books are well written! LOL

    I love seeing how you and Dan have grown this past year and I am looking forward to see how you two grow in the coming year. Also looking forward to chronicles part 2. ;)

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

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    1. Oh, Poor Cat, I do hope you soon begin to feel better. I know just what it's like running the gamut of all these winter ills. Keep taking whatever you feel is doing some good - whisky, lemon and honey, medications, hot tea, chicken soup. Whatever you prefer.

      Ah - poor old Fifty. I was absolutely glued to the books, and totally stunned by them as well! I had never heard of such things in my life. But I can understand that if you are a more worldly sort you would perhaps think they were a bit tame. I am just happy that they helped to change our lives the way they did.

      Many hugs
      Ami

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    2. LOL Ami...the book irked me due to the poor writing. I think if you were to re-read portions of it now that you have been exposed to good authors who know how to write a spanking scene well, you would be surprised at how poorly it is actually written. ;)

      I am miserable and hopefully, I will start feeling better one of these days.

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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  9. Wonderful post Ami! Really enjoyed reading this and look forward to reading more :)

    I haven't seen Hope Springs yet but it's now on my list :) I agree, you are never too old and communication is so important.

    I saw your reply to Katie, and on her blog. Just a word of warning, Scrappy Doo can get you into a load of trouble. I know! LoL

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. You absolutely MUST watch the film, but it is very deep and uses a lot of concentration. It is not Meryl's usual happy go lucky type of film.

      As for Scrappy - I am more Yappy. The scrappy part comes later. LOL! So funny - I can tell you I have been in more trouble with my attitude than any other thing! Good grief! I could make you roar with laughter at some of my 'moments'.

      Hugs
      Ami

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  10. Oh that movie mad me cry, it was heartbreaking to watch! It's a great movie though.

    Callie

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    1. It's one of the best I have watched, and all the time I thought Dan was snoozing in his armchair, he was secretly watching it! Brilliant acting and brilliant subject matter. Everyone should watch it when they reach 'a certain age'.

      Hugs
      Ami

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  11. Hi Ami, we wen to see this film at the cinema.. We both thought it was a load of rubbish!!! I thought it would be a bit like us all discovering new ways to spice things up but actually I found it all a bit sad. I did enjoy fifty shades. we had already embarked on our voyage of discovery by then. I know lots of people knock it but It just spurred me on a bit more ;)
    I loved the pictures on your post, the sentiments are similar to those practised in the Rose household although I like a bit of bondage myself and he is quite happy to leave marks with whatever takes his fancy, simply because he knows I like it. Am looking forward to some more of your chronicles
    love Jan,xx

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    1. Oh Jan! It wasn't rubbish at all - it was lovely! So thought provoking.

      Believe me, I wouldn't be aversed to the occasional bit of bondage - but I don't suppose I will ever get the chance to try it. Oh well. And marks rarely stay on me for very long. But Dan is an obstinate sort. LOL!

      You wait my dear - you could just be featuring in the next Chronicles!!!

      Many hugs
      Ami

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  12. Ami,

    Loved your post.

    So right, you are never too old to have fun and to add a little spice or lots:)

    Meryl is one of my favourites but didn't fancy seeing this one with her in it.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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    1. Thanks, Ronnie. I'll take the 'lots' of spice! LOL!

      This film perhaps doesn't suit everyone, but there were so many parallels for us that we had some great discussions about it. When you look around, believe me, there are many, many couples just like the couple in the film. We are all the lucky ones!

      Hugs
      Ami

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  13. Oh, how wonderfully you tell your story. It made me feel good to read of your discoveries and journey together. It gives great hope and joy - and is real. :-) Thanks for sharing. I have yet to see Hope Springs - we are beyond behind in our movie watching though did go to see Into the Woods this week-end... Hugs to you!

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    1. I should love to see Into the Woods. It is on my list, but I expect I shall have to wait until it is out on DVD. Hope Springs is to be recommended, but is quite difficult to watch at times.

      I love looking back and seeing how far TTWD has brought us. We are so much more aware of each other and each other's feelings. I shall be continuing again soon.

      Hugs
      Ami

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  14. I love the place you are and reading about your journey. We saw Hope Springs too and thought it would be funny...very serious movie. It made us feel good about where we were at the time. Levi can't wait until I can go knickerless:) We have found it difficult with our littles. I am going to imagine that my rear looks like that one up there next time Levi grabs it...lol...Can't wait for part 2:)

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    1. I suppose we have this perception about Meryl and her films, but this one was as you say, a very serious subject.

      I always used to go knickerless under my nightie, certainly when the kids were small. But then somehow I changed and I can even remember having a row about it on one occasion. Thank goodness I have now loosened up. Life is certainly much more fun!

      Isn't it strange how beautiful the pictures of these knickerless women are?! Sadly I am pretty sure my bottom has begun to droop in the same way my boobs have! LOL!

      Hugs
      Ami

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  15. Oh Ami you are so right, we are never to old to change whatever we desire changing!
    You and Dan have become pros at all of this TTWD!
    I was into spanking long long before 50 shades. Even drawing some at a VERY young age. I'm a bit better now!
    But I'm so glad to have found friends in this place, like you.... As well as you!

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  16. Ami,
    What a great post! I love reading about your journey,and I'm so happy to see where the two of you have gone. It's interesting that we are all so different, and yet the same. I lost weight and cut my hair too!
    I have never seen that movie, We're usually really behind on movies, but I will have to check it out.

    Hugs

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  17. Thanks for sharing a condensed version all in one place. Hope you and Dan have a wonderful year!

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