Total Eclipse

In my last post I mentioned how a black cloud had suddenly descended on me completely out of the blue.

One minute I had been fine, and the next minute I could've had a fight with a T-Rex and come out tops.

It was as if I was happily wandering around in the full sunshine with a brilliantly blue sky, and then the moon moved in front of the sun creating a total eclipse. A surreal darkness in the middle of the day. 

At best it could be described as a mood swing, and at worst, all my happy endorphins had deserted me and gone elsewhere.

It didn't make me into a horrible person. I remained polite, if somewhat icily, but the worst thing was the utter indifference that came over me. I just could not be bothered. All I did was shrug my shoulders and sigh. Everything from doing the laundry to mopping the kitchen floor became too much. I didn't even get any pleasure out of spending several hours outside in the sunshine weeding one of the flower beds.

Every now and again Dan would swat me on the behind and growl a warning. I just growled in reply until he backed off. Finally he gave me an almighty wallop that echoed throughout the kitchen and beyond which shocked me into silence as our son and his fiancee were in the little sitting room off the kitchen, and could hear everything. I was suitably mortified and I told Dan so.

But why was I acting like this? I can assure you it wasn't on purpose. I didn't wake up that morning and decide to win the 2015 Bratting Contest.

I think the real reason was that my endorphins really had run out. I hadn't been spanked for over a week, and although I wasn't actively trying to induce a spanking, I was feeling resentful and unsettled. 

I had really begun to think that we had come to the end of the road, and that Dan just wasn't interested in spanking me enough to continue.

Dan does not belong to the "Frequent Spankers' Club". He will never be one of those people who earn extra "Spanking Miles" for being a regular spanker.

His spankings tend to lunge from one end of the spectrum to the other. Very enjoyable, or very unenjoyable, with maybe a sliding scale of reminder spankings thrown into the middle. I adore the enjoyable spankings soooo much; I do not adore the unenjoyable spankings, even though I realise they are necessary, turn me around, create harmony in our home, fill me with endorphins and often give me a smile that goes from ear to ear.

Saturday's spanking was of the unenjoyable variety.

It went something like this.

Dan (sitting propped up on the headboard, slurping tea, and having just put the entire world to rights) "So, Ami, what have you got planned today?"

Ami (having drunk her coffee, snuggled down under the duvet with only her nose showing, and having a bit of a headache from a very late night the night before) "I was going to Quilting till I developed this extreme exhaustion and woke up to hear the rain. I think I'll just lie here for a bit."

Dan (pulling the duvet back from the aforesaid nose and exposing my nether regions due to the fact my nightie had ridden up in the night) "I don't think so. I think you need to be well spanked. I've had enough of your attitude and I know exactly how I'm going to get rid of it."

Ami (commencing on a tug of war to get the duvet back) "Attitude? Huh? What about your attitude?"

(This is not the right thing to say when you are a hair's breath away from a spanking.)

Dan (winning the fight over the duvet, and pushing me out of the bed) "Fetch an implement!"

Ami (whining) "Why can't you fetch your own stupid implement?"

(This is most definitely not the thing to say)

Dan (sitting up straight and looking like an angry moose) "Now!"

Ami (realising he is serious) "What would you like?"

Dan (scowling) "I really don't mind. Any of them will will do the job."

Ami (now nervously loitering by the front bedroom window and making inane comments about the garden and the birds outside) "Grrrrrrh" (That's meant to be a growling noise.)

Dan "Don't think I don't know that you are trying to stall for time. Get a move on!"

Ami (cautiously opening the second drawer down, sorting through her underwear and glaring at the implement collection, then picking up the Rose paddle) "Well, if you are giving me the choice, I pick this one. I hope you don't want two."

Dan (holding his hand out) "One will be fine for what I have in mind, thank you. Come here and get over my lap.

Ami (looking down and seeing something very large that wasn't there a short while before) "I think you are enjoying this. We haven't even started yet. How could you?!"

Dan (lunging forward and grabbing my nightie) "I don't like this. We'll dispense with this. I like to see you jiggle. (grabbing my arm) Over you go." 

Ami (reluctantly being disrobed and tugged forwards, bottom in a very vulnerable position and still feeling very whiny, trying to dig her feet under Dan's right leg and inadvertently kicking him in the balls, whereupon Dan momentarily folds up) "Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to do that. Are you all right? I just don't want to kick you in the face."

Dan (recovering but with eyes still watering and now even more intent on justice than ever) "Just be careful. (He secures my right leg under his which means my legs are apart and my left leg is on top of his right leg, a position new to me as I cannot put my legs together as a means of defence, and one I immediately feel very wary about.) I will take care of your left leg, you needn't worry about it kicking me. It won't get the chance."

Ami (feeling very, very vulnerable, face buried in a pillow) "Now what are you doing?"

Dan "I'm putting a couple of pillows underneath you so your bottom is higher." (he tries out a goodly splat)

Ami (gasping anxiously and trying to wriggle, which is completely impossible.) "Don't I even get a warm up?"

Dan "That was my hand, Ami. I haven't started with the paddle yet. You will know when I do."

Ami "Are you sure it's your hand?"

Dan "It was the last time I looked."

Ami (trying to cope with the increasing speed of the spanks) "Well, it feels like the paddle. Owww!!! Dan!!! Too high, too high!" Owwww!!!

Dan (altering the tempo and moving his hand all over my bottom and the tops of my thighs) "You needn't start owwwwing yet. I've hardly started."

Ami (almost stunned into silence) "This is too hard for a warm up. Oh owww!"

Dan "No, it's not. It's doing a good job. I am completely fed up by your continual negativity. (I am positive his name is really Oddball - from Kelly's Heroes! It might well be, after that kick!) Perhaps this will reassure you that I haven't forgotten about you. Perhaps you will realise that sometimes I am simply too busy and have too many other things on my mind. It does not give you leave to have a go at me. I am fed up with it."

Ami (almost spontaneously combusting) "Shriek! Dan, are you sure you are using your hand."

Dan "I am. Now, just so you know the difference, this is the paddle, Ami."

Ami (fiercely putting both hands under the top of the duvet and gritting her teeth and wondering how anyone can possibly be expected to remain still under such a barrage) "Shriek! Yowl! Gasp! Shriek!"

Dan (actually coming out with the line you read everywhere in every story) "It's meant to hurt, and frankly, Ami, I intend it to. I want you to remember this spanking."

Ami (still yowling loud enough to be heard on the moon, and wondering if she will ever be able to sit again, and further wondering what her rear end is going to look like for the next week) "Help! Help!"

Dan (still spanking for England and now using one hand to stretch the skin and find little areas previously untouched - ever) "Help indeed. I intend administering lots of help. A nice deep red, I think."

This spanking seemed to go on for a long time. It was the sort of spanking I used to fantasise about. I shall never fantasise about them again. (I now know what it is to walk stiff-legged around the bedroom.) LOL.

Dan, having finished spanking me decided not to relinquish his HOH hat for a while. A whole lot of loving followed (quoting Katie here), complete with instructions. Whilst I was very happy to oblige, I was a little taken aback as some of the instructions felt like they were coming more from a Dom than an HOH. If men could strut, then Dan strutted, and that is all I can say. I just wish I was twenty years younger and rather more flexible. LOL.

I have now returned to my normal, euphoric state of mind. Calmer, happier and more able to cope. Dan went away Sunday afternoon as he was working a couple of hundred miles away for a day or two. Before he went he issued me with instructions to go to bed at 10pm and to ensure all windows and doors were locked and the car put away. He even rang to check on me as soon as he reached his destination.

As for my situpon, well, I couldn't situpon it without a cushion for the whole of Sunday, and even on Monday it was a little sore. Dan grabbed it just before he drove off and made me jump. "I hope it is good and bruised" he told me. The cheek of the man! Bruised indeed. He knows jolly well how bruised it is. Especially the right cheek. (I suppose that one is easier to spank). The arnica gel has had to make an appearance.

When I think how careful Dan used to be. LOL. 

I think this man of mine likes to keep me on my toes. Literally.

It's funny, but I will never learn. When I think he is completely indifferent, he always proves me wrong. When I think that we have reached the end of the road, another corner comes into sight and remaining inflexible isn't an option. 

I have to lean into it, or be leant over Dan's knee.

*************

While I am here, I must let you know that I am having a procedure on my right hand to try to 'free up' my thumb. Apparently I have got what is called "Trigger Finger" but it is in my thumb joint. They are going to inject cortisone and I am not allowed to use my hand for 48 hours. I do hope it will improve as I am having difficulty sewing and typing (using the spacebar) as well as not being able to open things; I keep dropping stuff as well. Also, we are going on holiday next weekend to visit with relatives, so I won't be around for a while. I will do my best to throw myself back into the fray when we return.

Until then, hugs to y'all!!!

Saturday Snippets (14)

First of all, Cat mentioned that our dear friend, Queenie wasn't feeling very perky. I wanted badly to cheer her up, but wasn't up to the technology of inserting pictures in my comments (if it is, in fact, possible) so Queenie, I am using my own blog to send you prayers, blessings and lots of Fairy Dust!! A whole big bottle!

This is a very good thing to keep in the cupboard for when you are not feeling as good as you would like to.

All you need to do is sprinkle and wait, and the fairies will appear to cheer you up. 

The Fairy Queen is a personal friend of mine.

She says that whenever you are feeling low, to go get that dust and sprinkle it around.

All your friends are here for you, Queenie. We all offer you our love and support.

Now on to some questions I have for you, dear blogging friends. I have been reading a book recently by an American writer who seems to come from one of the Southern States. I love her writing and enjoyed the book enormously - but I didn't understand some of the things she mentioned. Perhaps you can help me out. I am only a simple Limey after all.

What are slides? I think they are a type of shoe, but the only slides I am familiar with, to in your hair in order to hold it up, or out of your eyes.

She mentions having biscuits and gravy with her scrambled eggs, for breakfast. I have been told what biscuits are, (they are what we call Scones), but surely you don't have gravy for breakfast?! Do you? It makes me shudder to think of bacon, eggs, grits, biscuits and gravy!

I read another book called The Good Girl (very thrilling!) where the action took place in and around Chicago.

What is the "L"? Is it a means of public transport? I have never heard of it before.

I have to report that at long last I have watched the very first episode of Outlander. Twice! Dan watched it with me the first time, and our son watched it with me the second time. 

The first time I found myself commenting on the sex scenes to Dan and in particular the scene on the old table in Castle Leoch. 

"I shall never be able to take a bath again without remembering her comment to him" I informed Dan. "How exciting using the kitchen table."

"The table was filthy" he replied, "And anyway, you wouldn't fancy using your kitchen table if you knew that had taken place on it, would you?"

Men! No imagination at all!

Watching the same scenes with our grown up son was just plain cringeworthy. I don't know who cringed the most. He hates anything like that when he is watching something with his mother! I sometimes break out into giggles as I am certain he thinks he was conceived by an immaculate conception.

Hopefully Dan and I will get time together to watch another episode this evening. I would sit and watch them back to back, but unfortunately there is a household to run.

We've both been floored by colds from hell recently. It's not often we are both ill together and it doesn't make for a harmonious household. Not in the slightest. There is something about the common cold that is completely debilitating. Sore throats, runny noses and eyes, hot sweats and sleepless nights. Boxes of Kleenex in every room. Good grief! 

I blame it on the British weather. First it's hot, then it's cold, then the wind comes straight off the Russian Steppes. You just don't know where you are. No wonder living in this country has turned me into a siege packer so that whenever I pack a suitcase I plan for every possible weather condition even if I am going somewhere where it has never been known to rain in the past fifty years.

We are going away in a week's time to stay for a while with my family in Poland. Dan and I are going to do some walking (hiking?) in the mountains where my grandparents used to live. It is very beautiful and we are looking forward to the break and catching up with all the news as we haven't visited for four years. I expect I shall pack all the wrong clothes, whine at Dan, and end up getting lifted eyebrows all the time.

Talking of lifted eyebrows. Have you ever been absolutely fine when you woke up in the morning, and then suddenly, as if by magic, a black cloud descends on you and all you want to do is growl and tear some eyes out? Any eyes will do.

I had a morning like that on Thursday. I had more lifted eyebrows for the remainder of that day, and all day on the Friday, than I care to think about. And more warning bottom swats as well. I have to relate that all I did was snarl, snap and be icily polite. 

Instead of dealing with the situation, Dan has simply stayed out of harm's way. Which is not a good thing. He has been busy with his fundraising activities and preparing for some work when he will be away from home for a couple of days. 

This is the classic situation where I start to distance myself and Dan tries to carry on as normal without realising that there are issues that need to be discussed and addressed. 

Anyone else with a husband who is similar, has my sympathy. I know only too well how you feel. For two pins I would throw in the towel.

I feel put out and aggrieved that Dan is not concerned enough to leap into action. I even wore a nightie and panties in bed last night, and he didn't say a word. I am not a happy bunny. I thought we had progressed past all this. If he is not careful Bitch Troll will surface, and then he will have a fight on his hands.

Hang around. There could be another post coming your way. LOL! 

BTW, I intend to try my best to catch up on my blog reading as soon as I can. Keeping our house clean and tidy for "viewings" is taking up so much of my time. Now the British General Election is out of the way it seems that people are once more getting serious about moving. I have also been attempting to add more bloggers to my "Blogs followed", but some, like Abby's blog, just do not want to cooperate. Bear with me and I will keep trying. I really do enjoy reading everyone's blogs even if I don't always have time to comment.  

Honesty

Since we started TTWD, I have often read posts where the wife did something really stupid, and then covered it up. She would inevitably end up being upturned and well spanked. 

I would think to myself How on earth could she do something so stupid? If that was me, I would immediately come clean to Dan or I wouldn't do such a thing in the first place. After all, I am a grown woman. Of a certain age. I simply wouldn't act that way.

As Cat would say "Good gravy woman!"

I even think that somewhere in the Bible, might be Proverbs, there is something about a man digging a pit, and then falling into the pit he dug. 

I can tell you. It applies to woman as well.

I am really finding this quite hard to write. I know it is going to take me more than one day to formulate a post about the pit I just fell into.

I was quite pleased with my last post. For the first time ever (EVER!!!) I got Dan to read it. He only made two comments. One was that he thought I wrote just the same way I speak, and the other was that he was a bit astounded that I put pictures of semi naked women on my posts. Apart from that, he was quite happy with it, but has declined my invitation to read all my posts. Still, a small milestone has been reached. (He even read everyone's comments!)

The other evening I was on the phone to a friend "across the pond" and we were talking about loads of different things. The subject of Outlander came up and she explained how I could "watch" the spanking scene as someone had posted the video.

I had heard various reactions to it on the blogs, and from my own daughter, but was anxious to watch it myself. As it happened, I was only able to watch it on a very small screen and without sound, so frankly I was not amused, as I needed to hear their discussion and also hear the reaction of the other men present.

I have read the scene several times in the book and haven't yet made up my mind about whether she should have been spanked or not. Sometimes I think she should, and then I become contrary and side entirely with her and would've bitten not only Jamie's wrist, but several other bits of him as well. 

However, I digress.

Something happened on Friday morning that has led to a spanking of epic proportions in my own household. 

Had I read about it on someone else's blog, I would have thought the woman incredibly stupid. So I don't mind one bit if you want to accuse me of stupidity. I accuse myself of stupidity!!! And before you start to worry - I didn't fall into a deep, fast-flowing stream, nearly drown, get hooked out by the baddie, and then nearly get raped by him. My fall from grace was entirely different, but one which perhaps one or two of you may be more familiar with.

On Friday morning I had a letter from my bank.

It contained my monthly bank statement. I often don't even bother to look at these pieces of paper any more. After all, I no longer have a salary going in, am not liable for taxation, and rarely spend a great deal on myself. (Note the 'rarely' here.)

However, something caught my eye. I looked again. All my worst fears were realised. I was overdrawn. Terribly, incredibly overdrawn. Mammothly!

I checked through my statement from top to bottom, and flinging pieces of paper in the air burrowed through the heap on my desk till I located the previous statement. Horrors!

I had been overdrawn last month too.

I remember screwing my eyes up against the sun and trying to see my bank balance in one of those stupid hole in the wall machines. Unfortunately for me, what I had thought to be a healthy bank balance, must have had a little minus sign in front of it. Certainly my previous bank balance, and now my latest bank balance showed those little minus signs all the way through.

I sat with my heart racing. This hasn't happened to me since I was about 30 and my sister in law took me on a very dangerous shopping trip. I remember only too well how incandescent with rage Dan became when I asked him to bail me out, and how we had an argument of epic proportions that raged on for nearly a week. 

I felt sick just thinking about it all. What on earth was I going to do? Dan would go ballistic.

I sat and had a good cry and then decided that I would need to think about the situation for a day or two. Little did I realise what a horrible night I would have. I just tossed and turned and wept silent guilty tears all night. By morning I was completely wrung out. I couldn't understand why I was feeling like this.

I badly wanted to sit and tell Dan all about it, behave in a reasonable fashion, ask him to bail me out, and give him a firm assurance that I would repay him as soon as I could. But I was scared of his reaction. Dan does not suffer fools gladly. 

Maybe you think Dan is an old skinflint. (I believe his daughter has called him this on occasion, but only when he has refused to indulge her unnecessarily.) Alas, Dan is the furthest from a skinflint you could want. He has been generous with me all our married life. I suppose, thinking about it, he has spoilt me rotten. Apart from a few things, my money has been my own to do with as I wished. I suppose I simply paid for the icing on the cake which enhanced both our lives and gave us extras like short holidays to interesting places etc. And now here was I, only eighteen months into retirement, and very much overdrawn on my personal account.

Due to not having slept, I was up at the crack of dawn. I crept downstairs leaving Dan snoring softly with a happy, content look on his face. I knew that wouldn't be there much longer. He was going to be so angry with me.

I arrived back upstairs and drew back the curtains on a beautiful sunny morning. The squirrels were pulling my bird feeder apart for the millionth time, the moorhens were fighting a duel on the lawn, and the swallows had arrived and were soaring overhead. Idyllic.

I had reached the stage where I felt disorientated and dizzy with anxiety. When we chatted as we drank our morning drinks, I was only half listening to what Dan was talking about. I felt so miserable. When I had finished my coffee I almost lay back down and curled up again.

But I knew in my heart what I had to do.

I got up and walked across to the drawer where we keep our things. Even then, I was too much of a coward to select anything other than the rose paddle. I brought it back and handed it to Dan.

"But I only spanked you the other day."

This is Dan all over. He just cannot come to terms with the fact that he is allowed to spank me around the clock if he wants to. He is so careful. I do love him for it, but when I read how many times some of you get spanked, there is a little envy in me.

I heaped up some pillows and lay over them but right next to Dan, so he had easy access. I still hadn't said anything to him. My throat seized up and I just couldn't. I think I told him I needed a little extra. I really can't remember. Luckily he didn't need too much urging, and started to spank with his hand.

"You do seem a bit tense" he remarked, spanking away. He was using both hands at the time. Maybe access was too easy! His hands are hard and capable, and these days he can go for ages without them feeling the burn. My bottom, however, does feel the burn.

Then I felt the paddle come down on my right cheek fairly hard. I burst into tears. 

Once those flood gates were opened, I couldn't stop. I just got louder and louder.

I will give Dan his due; he didn't waver a single bit. Bless him, he thought he was doing me good. 

"Let it all come out" he said. "Let it all come out." 

(Golly, I never thought he would ever say anything like that. Perhaps there is hope for us yet.)

The spanking got harder and harder. I tried not to kick. I deserved it so badly. Dan eased off and stroked my back for a bit. He was beginning to get a little nervous. He started up again and gave me about ten more, very hard, then stopped. He told me afterwards that he was getting an inkling that things weren't right.

I went into sobbing mode and couldn't have stopped if world war three broke out. Dan went from nervous to alarmed. His stroking became full scale rubbing and massaging. 

"You don't want more, surely? I've bruised you; I don't want to damage you."

I howled even louder.

"You don't know what I'm crying about" I managed to get out between trying not to choke to death.

So the whole miserable story came out, bit by horrid bit. Dan listened and didn't interrupt apart from to ask me "How much?" I could feel him gulp as I told him.

Now this is where perhaps you think he should have grabbed me over his knee and sallied forth once more with the paddle? This is where, surely, a wife should receive a barn burner? This is where she gets the lecture to end all lectures? Where she is told how disappointed her husband is in her?

Not a bit of it.

"I am so glad you didn't try to hide this from me; that you told me all about it," Dan said. "I'm not very pleased with you, but we can look at your bank statements together and I can help you sort it all out. You're just going to have to be extra careful for a couple of months and discuss any expenditure with me first. It's not the end of the world." I could hear pride and an HOHiness that I had not heard previously in his voice.

I think I howled even harder when he said all this.

Eventually I got up and washed my face, blew my nose and brushed my hair and sat back in bed. We discussed the situation a bit more, then I was well cuddled and loved. I went down and cooked a traditional full English breakfast.

It was as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders, although I sat on a cushion and couldn't even bear to wear knickers till after midday.

But with this spanking came a very real understanding of the word Honesty. I now know why it is such an important part of Dd. Honesty is a key element in a strong and lasting marriage. Deception whittles away at the mortar and and can cause the foundations to crumble. 

I had thought Dan would be furious with me and although he wasn't exactly happy, he chose to keep calm and to discuss how, together, we can ensure this won't happen again. He understood I was giving him that paddle for a reason, but at the time he didn't know what that reason was. I wonder if that was why the spanks were so much harder than usual? Sort of in anticipation? It has been a salutary lesson to me. I shan't forget any of it in a hurry.

The way we do TTWD, works for us. When we started out, I had no idea whatsoever where it would lead us. All I can say, is that it keeps getting better and better.

How Compliant are You?

Notice I didn't use the word submissive? 

But I suppose that's what I really mean. I've thought about it a lot over this past week. More than a week in fact.

Somehow over the past couple of weeks our feet don't seem to have touched the ground. We have been racing around from one place to another, or had the house full of people. 

It's been a couple of weeks when I began to think at one point that Dan was fed up with my company, because he was never around. Or didn't seem to be. 

He is very involved with helping to organise a fund-raising cycle ride in June in aid of prostate cancer; plus his voluntary work visiting the homes of the elderly and vulnerable, fitting smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors; plus going to support our home team (football - that's soccer to some of you) who have had an unpredictable season; plus he's even been away working for one or two days which have necessitated overnight stays.

There has been no time to even think about spanking. It has just been too full on. A typical example of life getting in the way. Maybe some people can manage to squeeze it in here and there, but with Dan, it seems a major impossibility, and always ends up getting deferred indefinitely. It seems he has to be in the mood for it.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I no longer ask for spankings, nor do I purposely sulk and sigh and flounce about trying to provoke a fight. I just stay hopeful; and mostly that eventually seems to work.

But I have noticed Dan can be very cunning. His 'don't you dare do that'/'not another word'/'don't even think it' signals are getting more practised. In times of spanking scarcity, these signals are definitely more prolific.

The strange thing is that, on the whole, I seem to acknowledge them, and they do tend to halt me in my tracks.

So, is this submissive? Surely it's just common sense?

Now - I know that many of you own up to the fact that you didn't promise to "obey" when you got married. Why is this?

It's something I've thought about time and again over the years - nearly 38 now.

I didn't want to say those words. After all, the Princess Royal had just got married, and she didn't say them! So why should I?

Well, I promised to obey because our priest refused to marry us otherwise, and because Dan gave me a very black look, which said "Obey or else". I can remember it clear as day.

"Why should I?" I asked the both of them. (I was feeling very heated and press-ganged at the time.)

"Because," the priest explained, "he will literally give his life for you should it be necessary. He will be there by your side to protect you from anything and everything the world and the years to come, throw at you. He will love you and guide you and lead you, all the years of your lives."

I can remember Dan nodding in puzzled agreement, but thinking it strange that the priest should be putting him on a silver steed, fitting him with shining armour and handing him a lance. It made him feel like a dog with two tails because it appealed to his natural sense of maleness. 

So I stood there in front of the congregation and spoke those words "I obey" in spite of not really thinking about what I had actually agreed to, and looking back, I find it quite amazing that such a feisty, argumentative little so and so such as me, would acquiesce in such a way. (I did throw the occasional saucepan at Dan's head those first few years, but that's another story!).

To start with we both worked full time, then when the children came along I continued to work part time. We always had our specific tasks in our household, that we kept to. 

Dan sorted the finances, kept the septic tank from blocking up, mowed lawns and kept the outside in good order. He looked after the cars in all aspects from fuel to insurance. He was brilliant at paddock maintenance. (He still does all these things!)

I looked after the inside and all that entailed, from cooking and laundry to interior design, decorating and being a mother with all that entailed. (I still do all these things, but being a mother is somewhat different in this day and age, and I've added being a grandmother to the list long since.)

Dan would be away for long periods at a time, sometimes flying back from one destination to be gone to another within 24 hours. I had horses, dogs, cats, hens and boisterous children. And a part time teaching job. I was busy to the point of exhaustion. But somehow the years flew.

I got used to Dan drawing up a daily list of things for me to do. I got used to him asking or phoning me and ask me to do little extras such as banking or picking up his dry cleaning. I never questioned when he would invite business colleagues for dinner, or meetings in his office. 

I just got on with it all.

Strangely, it wasn't until our children were in their late teens, and beginning to fly the nest, such as away at college, that things started to go a little awry for us. 

I am a strong, independent woman. I believe in strong independent women. Our ancestors fought for it. They chained themselves to railings to achieve it, went on rallies and carried placards. 

I salute them for it. I wouldn't have it any other way. One of my heroines is Elizabeth Garratt Anderson, who not only had a family, but who became one of the very first female doctors - and managed to find time to march as a suffragette! (We have a whole hospital wing named after her.)

But somehow, along the way, something got lost.

In our fight for female suffrage, we forgot to lean on the ones we love the most. Instead of seeking their strength and assistance, we fought them, we derided them, we sneered at them. No door opening for us. No helping us on with our coats, or into our cars. If what we wanted was equality, then we could have it. But we couldn't have it both ways. 

So now, when we lust after these strong-minded men ("a white knight on a fiery steed" - listen to the old record by Bonny Tyler!) they are in very short supply. We have driven them back into the woodwork. We have shoved them away and shouted that we can manage very well without them, thank you very much.

Perhaps we can.

But do we really want to?

Dan brought me coffee in bed on Saturday morning and we sat in peaceful contemplation of the sunshine through the windows.

"The first thing I am going to do this morning is to give you a good whacking" he informed me.

To anyone reading this and not understanding Dan, it must sound awful. I have to tell you that Dan is the very last person on this earth who would give me a good whacking. It is not in his nature. A good spanking yes, but not a good whacking. Even when I annoy him above all endurance, his spanking is very controlled - ouchy, but controlled. 

Is this where I should be communicating to him? I thought to myself. Is this where I should be trying to explain that I have felt somewhat neglected this past couple of weeks? That I have felt he was too busy to be interested in me or what I was doing? That I had almost decided to keep a note of just how much he was out gallivanting around with all his 'stuff' while I was mostly at home 'alone'.

I decided not to say anything about it. Why try to provoke an argument? But it smarted. Almost as much as I knew my bottom was about to smart.

"Go get an implement".

How many times have you read that little command on this blog?

I would be interested to know how many of you are sent to fetch the implement shortly to be employed in reddening your rear end? If, like me, you are, do you consider this being submissive - obedient?

And when you are facing that drawer where they are kept, which implement do you choose? How do you make your decision?

Those of you whose husbands get the implement - how would you feel if you were sent to fetch it? 

I can tell you that many thoughts go through my mind at such a time. I would often like to refuse. But this is what I signed up for, isn't it, in the first place? I agreed to obey? Surely that means obey most things? And if spanking is consensual, as it is in this household, surely there should be no argument over me being asked to go get an implement?

But it is very hard to choose which implement is to be used. 

Especially as I rarely know what type of spanking it is going to be. I have known light hearted spankings turn into yelpy battles with Dan bringing me to tears. I have known spankings that start as the type you think are going to be unendurable, turn into the very best of sexy interludes. 

As I may not ask what type of spanking Dan intends,(he tells me it is up to him!)it becomes very difficult to choose the right implement for the occasion. Therefore I usually chicken out and fetch the Rose paddle. At least it is leather and flexible. (Ha! Silly me! I live with permanent crescent shapes decorating my sit-upon.) 

Sometimes I will feel able to pick another implement, when, for example, I know I have been snippy and full of attitude and have stirred up disharmony. On some occasions Dan will send me back for another implement so he can use more than one. 

I don't always like it, but he says that the end always justifies the means. (A means to an end? Ha!)

So I was thoroughly spanked. And it did hurt. My distancing had been noticed. The paddle did the commenting.

As I lay over his knee I asked why it was always me who had to fetch the implement and was told he thought it was good for me in order to be reminded of my place in the hierarchy. (I have a tendency to forget, it seems.) I would dispute that when I look around at some of our vanilla friends.

Dan also likes to be sure that the implement is going to fit the crime. 

He just loves using either of the nippers - big or small. That big one stays hidden well away. I would only ever bring it out if requested to do so. I even rub my bottom in anticipation before the little nipper is used. (How any of you can cope with cheeseboards or wooden paddles I have no idea.)

But back to the subject of being compliant.

Cards on table.

What do you do that you consider is compliance? And I don't mean taking your man a well-earned cup of tea, or massaging his back in the shower, or taking the rubbish bins out - I mean what do you do in order to obey? 

How submissive are you?
Would you agree to "obey" if you went back in time and had to say your vows all over again?
Could you choose your own implement for each spanking, knowing that you might be asked to bring out a much worse one if you chose wrongly?

Finally, what do you consider the difference to be between being compliant, and having a man exert control over you that you found unacceptable?

Just for the record, I would definitely say "I obey" again if I had my time over. Whether I would have behaved any differently without it, I don't know. Whether I would behave any differently way back in time when it was acceptable to spank your wife, I don't know that either. But I really look forward to your opinions, if you have time to give them.

I will finish on a silly note. Dan and I often share the bathroom, although sadly our shower is rather too small for two people of our age and stiff joints. LOL! 

As I bent down to dry my legs he stroked my bottom, consideringly. I thought he might be tempted with a few well placed spanks, but no. 

"Your skin is so smooth these days." More stroking. "It is so silky. Do you rub moisturising cream on it?" 

He was asking me this in all seriousness.

Honestly! Men!