Wednesday 24 July 2013

The Three Ps - Part 2

So yes, dear friends, I knew what I had to do.  It's just that when it comes down to it, it is a very difficult thing to ask.



In truth, it was about half past two in the afternoon before I summoned the nerve to ask Dan to spank me.  You'd be surprised at how many little jobs I kept finding to do, as well as making a huge Shoo Fly Pie and a Lemon Cheesecake with an Oreo crust.  (My grandmother always told me the way to a man's heart was through his stomach.  I wouldn't want to let her down!)

He'd gone outside to mow the lawns and strim round the edge of the horse pond.  I sidled out of the back door and lurked.  I inched up to him.



I said "I want to ask you a question, Daniel.  I need you to do something for me."

Poor Dan.  He was, at the time, lying flat on his stomach with his arm down the overflow pipe, which is about two feet away from the edge of the pond, and which was wedged solid with duckweed.  

Inching did no good, I tripped over the hose which he had been using to flush out the pipe, and nearly ended up in the wretched horse pond!



No, ours doesn't look like this.  More like this, only choked with weed!




"Well hurry up and ask, I need to get on with unblocking this pipe" he growled without looking up.  

I finished teetering on the edge and stood next to him bending low enough to mutter in his ear.

"What the hell are you doing?" He stopped wrestling with the pipe and pushed himself up to his knees.  I jerked backwards and nearly went in the pond yet again.

"Oh for goodness sake, Dan, can't you just turn to look at me. I wanted to ask you something and you never make these things easy, do you."

"Well maybe I'd make it easy if you'd get on and tell me what it was."  I now had his full attention.  "I thought you were set on sampling the joys of the pond life here for a moment." 

I could see that this discussion was going to be even more difficult than I had anticipated.  But I was determined.

"I'm feeling very jumpy and unsettled" I told him.  "There is no one around.  The next door neighbours are away for the weekend.  Number One Son is over at his cottage building a wood shed."  (Truly!!!)

I looked at him imploringly.  The conversation was flowing about the same as cold treacle off a spoon.

"Daniel, do you think you could spare the time to spank me?"

It was out.  I had said it.

"But I only spanked you two days ago, woman" he replied.  "I don't want you to think this is going to get too regular.  It'll be every day next!"

I sniffed.  "Two spankings in a week is hardly regular" I informed him. "I just feel I need it badly.  I can't concentrate, my head is spinning, and I feel like I am getting out of control."

"You've only got your colleagues and their partners coming. What's difficult about that?  You've catered for much greater numbers than that before."

I love my husband, I truly do, but I could see he was going off on a tangent.

"Daniel!  I am going upstairs!  I should be so grateful if you would follow me up there in a bit."

Dan was still on his knees on the lawn, his right arm dripping duckweed and pond water, looking a bit blank.

"Prevention is better than cure" I told him as I turned to go back inside.

"Well I haven't got time for anything else."  He looked a bit shell-shocked, but he hadn't said 'no'.  

He started to get up off his knees, swiping duck weed off his jeans.  I hoped he would wash his hands first.

I'd done it!  I'd asked for a spanking!  Help!  What did one do under such circumstances?

I tell you what I did.  I galloped through the kitchen, across the living room and up the stairs like I had hounds on my heels.

Naturally, once I got into the bedroom, heart beating ninety to the dozen, I didn't know what to do next!  I stood for a minute in a bit of a dreamlike state.  Then I decided I'd go and brush my teeth.  This had all caused my brain to have hiccups.  

I thought I'd have lots of time to prepare myself.  I removed my jeans and knickers, and putting toothpaste on my brush was humming tunelessly to myself when Dan appeared behind me in the bathroom.  I jumped and toothpaste spattered all over the mirror.

"What are you brushing your teeth for?  I'm not spanking your teeth." Dan looked very perplexed.  "Come on, I haven't got all day."

I rinsed my mouth and followed him back into the bedroom and looked at him hopefully, expecting inspiration.

Dan let out a huge sigh.  He hates having to leave a job, like clearing duckweed, half way through.  

"Lean over the footboard then" he instructed me  "while I get the implement."

I got the quilt and doubling it, laid it across the wooden end of the bed and leant over, placing my head on my hands. The footboard is quite high and it means my toes can barely touch the floor, so I need the quilt to relieve the pressure of the wood on my stomach.  

I felt him come up behind me and lift my blouse a little.

He started by rubbing my cheeks and then went on to give me a few swats with his hand.  These gradually increased in intensity, until they were coming quite hard and fast.  I was just about coping but was beginning to wonder about the perspicacity of  my request, and whether I would be able to cope with whichever implement he had chosen.

It was the Rose Paddle.  This little darling should be my most favourite, but not on this occasion.  On this occasion I started to crawl forwards after the first couple of swats.  I was pulled back.  Four more, and I was on my way again.  Again I was pulled back.  Another couple, and I started to crawl forwards again when an extra hard spank landed right across my tenderest parts.  I lurched forwards like a starter off a grid yelling "F---!" at the top of my voice and craning my head around to glare at him accusingly, eyes filling with water.

"If you had stayed in position, like you're meant to, I wouldn't have missed my aim."

"You're meant to flick your wrist!  Not whack like it's going out of style!"

"Believe me, you'd know if I was whacking, Ami.  I'm hardly using any strength at all.  Just stay still.  And put your hands back in front."

I was rubbing for all I was worth.  (No, actually I was dabbing very carefully to try to lessen the awful sting.)

Dan placed his hand on my lower back and held me down before continuing.  

I tried to count quietly to myself because Dan's spankings are short and I wanted to try to get some idea of how many spanks he gave me.  I managed to reach around thirty and then it was just impossible.  I was kicking my legs and rolling my hips.  

Dan continued for another ten or so spanks right on my sit-spots (Yes, he has sadly discovered these. I wondered when he would.)  Then he went back to his hand for a grand finale. I was right the first time.  He must definitely have had a secret hand transplant!  I can vouch for the fact that his hand hurts very nearly as much as the paddle.  Or maybe it is that by then my butt was so sore that even a feather would have hurt.




He helped me stand up.  I felt a bit as if I had been through a car wash!  My hair was like a haystack and my face and hands were wet through.  I heard rather than saw him return the paddle to the drawer where it's kept, and then he said "Right then, I'll leave you to straighten up.  I've got to get back to that pond.  Then I've got to go and fetch some extra chairs from my mother's."  And he was gone.

My bottom felt very hot and it stung.  I walked stiffly over to the mirror and examined it, expecting it to be a frightening sight.  But it wasn't.  So okay, the paddle had made a few large circular marks on my butt cheeks, but the marks that got my attention most weren't made by the paddle.  They were made by Daniel's hand!  Huge, red hand-shaped marks, with every finger visible.  Yet no sign of any bruising, and the bruising from the previous spanking had all but vanished anyway.

Handprints!  Hmmm.  I studied them from every direction. That's a first, I thought.  I rubbed some arnica on both cheeks, but they were not so sore that I couldn't rub them.  

However, I did put on a pair of very soft cotton knickers and was quite careful when pulling up my jeans.  My bottom seemed on fire, if only temporarily.  As I crossed the living room to the kitchen I reached back and felt it through my jeans.  Crikey, it was red hot!  I felt a bit stunned.  I went outside.

"Just feel this" I said to Dan.  "You could fry eggs on this."

"But would you want to?"  He replied nonchalantly, his hand down the outlet once again.

I turned and went back into the kitchen and put on the kettle for some tea. I did feel better. The spanking had been very intense, but it had been over remarkably quickly.  Possibly a minute and a half in all.  Daniel never wastes time nor effort. He's always been a quality over quantity type of man, and I can ascertain that a great many spanks may be had in a minute and a half!    

The garden party was a great success.


  

I had no culinary disasters.  The Pimms flowed.  The Peroni beer had mysteriously doubled in quantity.  There was enough food to feed a third world country.  We laughed and chatted and celebrated, and all the ladies who came wore long dresses and straw hats, and most of the men wore Panamas or boaters.  They know how much I love hats, and had decided to surprise me!

So later on in the evening when we were alone once more, sprawled on a bench watching the fish in the now clear horse pond, I asked Dan a further question.





"Do you think it worked?"

He knew what I meant, and he paused to consider for a minute.

"To tell you the truth it's uncanny how well it worked.  You were so calm I nearly took your temperature.  I don't think I can recall an occasion when you haven't shouted, yelled and stamped your way through the hours leading up to a party. Yet this time you were so relaxed you were still standing in front of your wardrobe wondering what to wear when the first people arrived weren't you?"

"Yes I was.  I just didn't feel inclined to hurry.  I felt calm.  It was the strangest thing.  I'm pretty knackered now though. Don't expect me to do anything at all for the next twenty four hours."

Dan laughed tiredly.  "I'm going to watch Top Gear.  I need to put my feet up."

I watched him wend his way back to the house.  I sat and thought about things.  This weekend I learnt a great deal. 

"Feeling the burn" has taken on an entirely new meaning. Hands can hurt as much as paddles.  Being spanked for stress is amazing when used to prevent you from becoming a headless chicken. A short, sharp, shock treatment can be extremely efficacious!

If I know Dan as I think I know him, he has now stored these facts in his head for future reference.  

And finally, reluctantly, this may be a course of action I will have to employ again, or, and you never know with Dan, he may render my request unnecessary, as he did mention that the kitchen table would probably be the ideal "venue" to sort out this type of stress in the future.




------------------------------------------------------------------------

And for those of you who asked me what Billy Witches are, some people call them Maybugs.


       
This one has its wings outspread and the twin parts of its hard carapace lifted.  They are "beetles" that can fly.  

There are lots of them in our part of the country because they are attracted by the growing crops and the harvest.  They neither sting or bite, but buzz around and dive-bomb you particularly in the evenings.  The biggest are around the size of a man's thumb, but more often they are a bit smaller.  

And the best bit?  

Their real name is Cockchafer!  Thought you might like to know that little gem!  

And there are three types - Common Cockchafer, Forest Cockchafer and Large Cockchafer!  Truly! 

(Latin names are Melolontha melolontha, Melolontha hippocastani and Melolothan pectoralis!) (I looked those up!)


27 comments:

  1. Oh i totally agree that a spank in time saves nine.

    I've had the personal experience of having needed a spanking before guests arrived too...

    that was the first and only time i cried. Thankfully BIKSS didn't stop, i wanted him to continue. It was a cry of release more than pain.

    And everything went splendidly after that.

    I'm glad you got the nerve up to ask for a spanking. hurray!

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    1. Hi Sweetie! Stress spankings are a bit like emergency steam release valves aren't they? Glad there are others around here who need them - and get them!

      It was hard having to ask - but I think next time won't be so bad, especially now Dan has seen how well it worked.

      Hugs

      Ami

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  2. Thanks for filling me in on the billy-witches. They are hateful whatever you call them. They were always dive bombing me in the evenings when we were in Texas.

    Glad you party went off w/o a snag. Knew it would, you have to be the perfect hostess. Glad Dan was able to "lend a hand." lol

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    1. You probably have bigger ones in Texas! LOL! Don't know why they enjoy dive-bombing but it is very irritating.

      I was glad the hand was well lent!

      Hugs

      Ami

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  3. Congrats on asking for a spanking! You don't half pick your moments - clearing a pond! Then you go and brush your teeth, that make me LoL.
    I do find spankings are great for stress relief and much cheaper than alcohol.
    Thanks for the entomology lesson, love the name. We don't have those critters around these parts.
    Glad party was a big success :)
    hugs
    DF

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    1. I know DelFonte - but that is Ami the Pickle. I not only speak before engaging brain, I pick my moments before engaging brain!

      I never looked at a spanking versus alcohol before. Think I would be quite happy with both!

      If you don't have them, you are very lucky indeed - they are such a pain!

      Hugs

      Ami

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  4. Wellm I don't know where to start.....
    I am however, intrigued at the mentioned of the "large cockchafer."' ;)
    I knew you would be true to yourself, and ask your hubby for what you needed - "speak your desire" as my friend Karl wrote me once.
    And yes, nothing is quite as settling as a good bottom scorching....damn it. It takes all the silliness right out of me, and that can only ever be a good thing. It seems that it works the same with most women....and know your Dan knows it, that is sometimes not the best information for an HoH to have.
    Glad all went well
    hugs
    lillie

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    1. Yes, apparently the Large one is quite rare and only round in the south west of Germany. You live and learn.

      I can never remember having such a "scorched bottom" before. You once wrote that Ian had hands that could deliver a hell of a sting, and that is how I am now viewing Dan's hands! He seems to have become so proficient! I honestly didn't think he would agree to spank me, and was prepared for him to refuse, so I did literally gallop through the house! I didn't gallop afterwards though!

      Hugs

      Ami

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  5. You had me panting reading your post. A stree releifing spanking is very wonderful~ I like the way your sweet guy paddles you even when he has other things on his mind.
    Meredith

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    1. Welcome Meredith! Yes, and at the moment I seem a very needy person where stress relief spankings are concerned. But I can tell you, he was sooooo covered in pond weed! He is never happier than when he has his hands down unsavoury pipes be it pond, drains or septic tank outlets! I just don't get the attraction myself!

      Hugs

      Ami

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  6. First Of all...totally get the need for stress relief. Spankings definitely change the stress in my voice. Amazing connection..That!
    I am coming to one of your parties, and I want to bring my sisters....cousin.. and friends here! Hats are so much fun!
    The way you cook girl....yummy!

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    1. Yes dear, I think anything to avoid the 'headless chicken' syndrome is to be welcomed!

      Yes, yes, yes, do come. We had lots of Pimms and some wicked desserts! No slimming around here at the moment! Bring all your family!

      I'll have to show you some of my hats! They are great fun, but always leave me with "hat hair" which is a penalty for wearing them for hours on end!

      Hugs

      Ami

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  7. Awesome that you asked him! I understand the feeling of total relief after asking all to well. Happy for you that it made such an "impact" on you for your party :)

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    1. Glad you can identify with the feeling. But Tricia I have to tell you, that I looked on that Caniac Site and nearly died at that implement of yours! It's like a big fat plastic chain! Believe me when I say I would only need to be shown it, it wouldn't even have to fall once on my butt, I would agree to be good just by looking at it!!!

      Hugs

      Ami

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  8. Congrats for asking Dan and kudos to him for stopping what he was doing to give you what you needed. See...ya definitely need more spankings!

    I would suggest that Dan just start each morning with a quick drum solo on your tush...1 to 2 minutes will kick is day off well...double dawg dare ya to tell him my suggestion. LOL

    I'm coming with Minelle to one of your parties...I love hats...have a whole collection of them. ;)

    Happy your party went well and you were calm enough to enjoy it!

    Hugs and Blessings,
    Cat

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    1. Look you Mrs Bossy Britches! What is it with you and all these spanking suggestions?!

      Can tell you that 1-2 minutes at the rate he spanks is all I would need.

      A "double dawg dare"??? Now what weird and wonderful thing is that? Something from the deep south by the sound of it? I really don't think I understand what you are trying on here....

      Yes, yes, do come! Long summer frock and a hat! Then we'll drink lots of Pimms (or I'm certain I could find you an alternative you would like) and eat lots of high calorie food and end up feeling tipsy and watching the moon come up over the meadows!

      Hugs

      Ami

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  9. I'm totally impressed that you were able to ask and he is very special for stopping what he was doing to meet your request. :)

    Callie

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    1. It was a first! There is a snag in that maybe I won't need to ask him in future. But knowing Dan, it'll take him the next month to think about it.

      Hugs

      Ami

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  10. Good for you for asking Ami! That definitely isn't easy. I'm glad Dan came though and relieved your stress. Had to laugh at you deciding to brush your teeth. Dan's comment cracked me up too "I'm not spanking your teeth" LoL.

    Oh my .. hand prints. Impressive!

    Glad to hear the party went well. Love the large cockchafer LoL.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. You know, Roz, I don't even know why I was brushing my teeth! I got so excited by the thought that he had agreed to spank me, that I lost my mind completely!

      First hand prints! I was so amazed I nearly photographed them! But they soon disappeared, and bruising wasn't an issue luckily.

      I can see you don't believe me about the cockchafer, but I swear it is true. You can Google it!

      Hugs

      Ami

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  11. Ami, that is wonderful that you asked Dan for that spanking!!! I think it is also wonderful that he stopped what he was doing to attend to your needs. Very nice!

    I agree with those above who said that you better beware now. Dan knows the secret of how to bring on "calm Ami" prior to events. His growing experience seems to suggest that he will use his special powers in the future! Be good, Ami. Be very good! :D. Honestly, I do the same thing and Rob has no trouble putting a stop to it. Usually it is when it is out of hand. I can't decide if it would be a good or bad thing to show him these last two posts! :)

    Your party sounded lovely and fun. I too wish I lived down the street so that I could have attended! I am very happy for you. Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

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    1. I just love your comments! Believe me when I say that I was very surprised that he stopped what he was doing and followed my upstairs. It was a big FIRST all round. The trouble with being married to a "thinker" is that once they get the hang of something, they have a tendency to do it on a regular basis. It's good to know your Rob is similar. Now I have mulled things over, I can say, hand on heart, that prevention is definitely better than cure! But nearly as "stingy"!

      I wish you lived down the street too Sweetie! It would be so nice! Think we would get in trouble a lot together though!

      Hugs

      Ami

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  12. Lol Ami your posts make me laugh and I sooooooo love all the kitty photos :)

    Ok now I really need to understand the brushing teeth before getting spanked haha loved Dans comment though hehe

    Good for you for asking, though I have to wonder about the timing, 6:30 in the morning and then while he has his hands in duckweed hehe

    I'm getting to the poi t of asking for a spanking now, he said I've been a very good girl this morning, so I said I deserve a GG spa king and he totally agrees ;)

    Oh we have a lot of those bugs here, H's dad caught a really big one once to show the kids, it was in a large jar and kept buzzing around, the kids loved it :)

    Oh please can I come to one of your parties, ill buy a hat just for the occasion ;)

    Hugs x

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    1. I liked those photos of the exhausted kitties at the end, soooo much! But we were just like them!

      I have to inform you that I am an ace with getting things timed to perfection!

      I'd like to bet Balu would be all for you asking for a spanking from time to time. This wasn't really what I would call a GG spanking though. On the other hand, I dooooo like GG spankings and I don't seem to have had one of those for a while! Perhaps it's time to ask. I could get used to all this "asking". Snag is that if I overdo it, I might get an entirely different, off the Richter Scale spanking, which is what I want to avoid.

      Those bugs are just plain horrid and irritating. Did you know that the Large Cockchafer is rare and only found in the south west of Germany? Ha!

      Yes, yes! Come, come! Just imagine all these ladies in my garden being led astray! I know I come over as humorous, but that is what I am like in real life! Maybe that's why I get into so many scrapes. Life's never dull around here!

      Hugs

      Ami

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  13. Hi Ami. Great post, and good for you to ask for a spanking. I know how hard that can be, but the stress relief afterwards is amazing! I had to chuckle with the brushing teeth episode! You're something else :-)

    Hugs,
    George

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    1. It was harder than I thought it would be. Even I don't know why I was brushing my teeth!

      Never been called "something else" before! I like that!

      Hugs

      Ami

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  14. Glad you got what you needed. It sounds like it was a lovely party :-) Hugs

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