Saturday, 12 January 2013

Journey into Submission

We just got back from a three-day break away in the Shires, where we come from originally.  Yes, I know, we are secretly "Hobbits"!  

It was so great to be able to go during the week instead of having to wait for the weekend like we did before I went on to a two-day week.  We arrived late afternoon.  The hotel was lovely and they upgraded our room.  It is a very old building, and quirky.  There are corridors and little steps up and down everywhere, like a rabbit warren.  We had to go down five curving steps to our ensuite.  I was terrified I would fall down the lot during the night as invariably I get up at some time to visit the loo.  This picture was on the wall right next to our bed.  I wish my bottom looked like one of these!

Starman attended his formal dinner with his old cronies in the evening, and I walked down to the end of the street where there is a rather smart Indian restaurant, and met my old flat-mate and her husband.  Hadn't seen them for about twelve years!  You can imagine that we had a lot to discuss.  The evening passed very quickly!


Before we had set out on our mini-break, Starman had had a little chat with me. Actually, more of an HOH/TIH talk!  

Unfortunately if I have a drink or two more than usual, just a smell of the barman's apron really, I have a tendency towards becoming rather verbose.  I really don't mean to, but I can take over a conversation, holding forth as if I am some authority on a subject.  Usually it's okay as everyone else has had rather too much to drink as well.  But sometimes, apparently, I can be embarrassing, and I can make people feel uncomfortable.

Now, this is something I didn't realise until TTWD took over my existence.  This is one of the things that Starman brought to my attention during our heart-to-heart the other weekend.

"It not only embarrasses our friends, Ami, but it embarrasses me too, and I won't put up with it any more.  I will not hesitate to give to a warning if you go to far.  Understood?"

I nod gravely.  "Understood."

"Poor Beth went off to her bookclub with 50 Shades tucked under her arm, and never having read it herself, just going on your recommendation, and she nearly died of mortification.  She was the talk of her neighbourhood.  And then Dave came back to me and gave me a hard time about it.  He wanted to know what exactly we got up to in our spare time.  I won't have other people conjecture on our private lives.  Understand?"

"Yes, understood."

"And another thing.  I don't mind you walking down to the end of the street to meet your friends at the restaurant.  But I want you to promise me to ask Geoff to just see you back to the hotel.  I don't want my wife walking along an ill-lit street at ten o'clock or so at night.  Anyone could be about.  I want you to promise me you'll make sure he does.  Okay?"

I felt like a small child.  The hotel and the restaurant are only a five minute walk apart.  And I very much doubted that I would be any later than 10pm coming back.  But I nodded meekly.

Well, that's two rules for our trip already, I thought to myself.  Submission seems to reach out trying to trip me up where ever I go these days.


I found that it was actually more like a three-minute walk to the restaurant.  My friends were already there when I arrived.  As I've already said, the evening passed quickly because there was so much to talk about.  Lots was reminiscing about when we were flatmates, but we also talked about our children and our lives in general.  I'm happy to say that I had a single white wine spritzer and made it last all evening.

At last it was time to go.  They had a longish drive back to where they lived, and my friend's husband had work the next day.

We stood on the pavement outside the restaurant.  I looked up the street towards the hotel.  Its lights were shining brightly and there was nobody about.  All was quiet.  

It was such a very short distance.  I fidgeted.

Geoff looked at me.  I think he sensed my unease.

"Shall we just walk you back Ami?  It isn't exactly out of our way."

"It's very close.  I'm sure I'll be okay.  I practically be there before you are out of sight around the corner."

I studied my feet and sighed.

"Are you sure?" Geoff demanded.  "We're quite happy to do so.  It'll only take a few minutes."

I humphed quietly to myself.  This was ridiculous.  I had walked there perfectly safely.  

Oh for goodness sake!  I felt quite cross.

I kicked at a stone on the pavement.

If I said no, and walked back on my own, it would be just like Starman to ask me if they had seen me back.  And if I asked them to accompany me, you could bet Starman wouldn't say a word.

But then I would know, wouldn't I?  And wasn't Dishonesty one of the dreaded Ds?

"Thanks Geoff.  Yes, I would be grateful if you really don't mind.  Starman worries about me if I have to walk somewhere on my own after dark.  I feel guilty asking you because the hotel is only just there up the street."

"No worries" Geoff assured me.  "Come on let's go."

Roughly three minutes later I was back inside the hotel.  Safe and sound.  By ten thirty I was tucked up in bed reading a book.

Starman wasn't late either.  He arrived by eleven.


The next day we went to see one of my very old school friends and her husband.  We were due to stay with them that night.  We are very close.  She is as near to a sister as I will ever have, and we hadn't seen them since our daughter's wedding in the summer, so you can imagine we had a lot of catching up to do.

We decided to go to an Italian restaurant that night.

We had a really great evening.  The restaurant was dark and atmospheric.  The food and the service were both excellent.  Again, I only had one white wine spritzer.  Starman was very impressed.  I didn't get 'tiddly' and I didn't let my mouth run away with me.  It was a truly pleasant evening.

We left our friends mid-morning for our return journey.  I dozed a good part of the way.  We had a bit of conversation but nothing too taxing.  Mainly discussing our trip and how much the city had changed from when we lived there.


 Friday night I was very tired.  I was in bed by 10.30, leaving Starman watching the Graham Norton Show.  As I drifted off to sleep I could hear him laughing at the risque humour.

I woke up around 1.30am.  The bed next to me was cold and empty.  I padded to the ensuite needing to pee.  Then I quietly opened the bedroom door and peaked over the balcony.  He was fast asleep on the sofa, the TV playing happily to itself.

I wasn't exactly thrilled.  This was something he had promised me not to do any more.  Should I go down and wake him?  Would he think I was checking up on him and be cross?  I debated for a minute or two and then he suddenly awoke, looked around and realised what had happened.  He turned off the television and got up switching lights off.  I made a stealthy retreat back to bed.

He arrived about ten minutes later carefully getting into bed so as not to wake me up.  I felt him reach out and give my bottom a quick rub.  Then I heard him snore.

I  lay and tossed and turned for the next hour and a  half.  Wonderful.  Eventually I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew it was 8am.

I went downstairs to complete my first job of the day - Starman's tea in bed!

When I brought it upstairs he sat up resting on his pillows.  I mentioned the fact that he was very late to bed, and he acknowledged that he had fallen asleep.  I further mentioned the fact that he had promised not to do that any more, and that I felt a bit let down by it.  Now why is it that our HOHs are allowed to make mistakes?

He simply smiled and played with my left boob.  He looked so smug that I decided that I had to have a little "reconnection" with him.  

"One of my friends said recently that she felt it was very hard maintaining her submissiveness when her HOH didn't maintain his dominance" I told him.

"Did she now?" he replied.  

"Yes.  And that is exactly how I feel.  Do you realise that my bottom hasn't felt your hand on it for two weeks now?"  I know I pouted!

"Ami, I only stroked it when I came to bed, and you were asleep."

"No I wasn't actually.  I had just been to the bathroom, and discovered you weren't where you should be.  I nearly came down and woke you up.  But then you came to bed so I didn't need to."

"So what is really the problem?"

"You went straight to sleep is the problem.  After saying you wouldn't do the late late thing any more."

"It was all the driving.  It wore me out.  You, at least, were able to snooze in the car!"

"Starman, I have to tell you that I am feeling very needy at the moment.  In fact, I think I will simply crawl out of my skin soon."

He looked at me askance, both eyebrows raised.  (It's just the single eyebrow that he can't quite manage.)

"What on earth do you mean?"

"You haven't spanked me for ages and I'm feeling all on edge and bolshie.  I don't know how long I'm going to be able to hold it together."

"Look Ami, you know we haven't had enough privacy to do it - or we would've."

"Well, I can assure you that I'm going to spend a considerable part of my day searching the house for something quiet!"

Starman roared with laughter.

"Don't make fun of me!  You always do this!"  I was getting a little cross.  "I can't help how I feel.  You still don't seem to understand."

He lunged for both my boobs this time, wrapping his arms round me and holding my back to his chest so that he had full access.  I wriggled and squirmed.

"You seem to have a thing about my boobs these days."

"I've always had a thing about them honey.  It's just that they have been covered up for years.  Just look how they react to me?!"

Excuse me when I say he made me moan a good bit.

One of my new submissive rules (a nice rule, not a horrid rule) is not to wear anything in bed.  It certainly feels strange after always wearing a nighty.  (This turned out to be an answer to one of my questions on my list the other week.)

"You know.  You did so well this last few days."  I turned my head to look at him, surprised.

"You thought I didn't notice didn't you?  Well I did."


"Sooooo.  Like I saw Geoff  and Emma bring you back to the hotel the other night."

Rapid intake of breath by me!!!!

"And I also noticed that you didn't drink too much or say anything embarrassing when we were with our friends.  In fact Tom asked me whether you could get him a copy of 50 Shades as he was intrigued and didn't like to ask you himself.  I told him that he'd have to do his own shopping."

Starman actually smirked at me!

"Let's let them wonder about us shall we?  Much more interesting that way Ami.  Us to know, and them to wonder...."  He laughed and squeezed, and I laughed and squirmed.

"Didn't you tell me that there's more to this than just the spanking part?" he reminded me, now stroking a completely different part of my anatomy.

"Well, I'm still going to research something quiet" I mumbled, before giving myself up to extreme pleasure and becoming in danger of even forgetting what day it was.

Now, who'd have thought?!!!


  1. He watched you get walked home huh.. and he took note of how you acted when you were out with your friends...
    I had to smile reading that last whole half! Sounds like some things may be coming together no?

    1. It's a strange thing isn't it, all of this? You think it's going to go one way, and then it goes another way. I honestly didn't realise he took so much notice of me until now. For example, this morning I said something definitely a bit "naggy" and he was on to it immediately. "That's not very submissive is it?! he remarked. I had thought I was only joking with him. But he had taken it a different entirely.

      Is it me? Or is it men in general do you think?

      Hugs, Ami

  2. I'm so bad. I totally cracked up at the picture of a friend going to bookclub with 50 Shades without even really knowing what it's about. While I haven't read the series, I am aware of what it's about. I nearly died a while back when my mom asked me about it because one of her friends had recommended it to her. I just told her I was aware of the series, but didn't really think it was her type of book. Whether she read it or not, I don't know and I don't want to know.

    It sounds like he is stepping up in other ways so just be patient with him on the spanking. And don't forget that the silent implements are generally the more ouchie ones so you might not want to be in such a hurry to get one. Believe me, I've regretted my decision to suggest quieter implements more than once.

    Oh and the boob thing, Steve's the same way. I can't keep his hands off of mine these days.

    1. Oh Dana I know! I find it hard to look her in the face now. And she still has only read the first book so she doesn't really understand the 'story'. And all her husband does is tease us about it every time we meet up. I am only just beginning to realise how embarrassing it is. It's not that I am a sex maniac or anything; but I enjoyed the books and we learned a great deal from them about our own relationship. So I have a soft spot for them. I love happy endings, and I don't like degrading or demeaning things. So those books fit the bill.

      Actually, a hand on my bott can be quite hard enough; but it's the 'noise' of the slapping sounds. And the very few other things we tried are just, if not more, noisy. Our stupid barn only has what are called 'partition' walls, so you can hear pretty much anything.

      I only have average boobs - nothing special. Just a C cup. But wow, they seem like a magnet at the moment. I must have been very 'closed down' in my past. So it's all a joy to me now. I said over the little break away we had "This is almost like a miniature honeymoon." and Starman agreed. Sadly, as you get older you have so many other things capturing your attention, that you tend to forget the "togetherness" you shared when you first married. I aim to do as much to rectify that situation as I can Dana.

      But if you can tell me about anything relatively quiet and more to the point, inexpensive, please will you? I feel like a caterpillar about to shed its skin at the moment!

      Hugs, Ami

  3. Listen to Dana, the quieter implements are definitely the ouchier ones.

    sounds like you had a lovely visit to "The Shires".

    1. Now then Sunny - you are more of an expert on these things, I just know you are. So ideas? Please?

      Yes, we had a good trip. We've lived in East Anglia for 30 years now so a lot has changed where we used to live. But we still have friends there who we meet up with every now and again. The countryside is 'rolling' there with lots of fields of sheep and cattle. Where we live it is mostly arable land with barley grown for brewing, and the dread oilseed rape. In other words, mostly flat.

      Hugs, Ami

  4. What a lovely weekend. You will continue to see signs of your HoH taking the reins, sweetie.
    One of the first things I noticed is the possession of my body. He wanted to touch it and see it whenever he wanted to. Here I was thinking he had lost that kind of possessive interest in it long ago, and just sort of took it for granted. It is rather a nice discovery, isn't it?

    1. It truly was a great weekend Lillie. Did you find you saw similar signs with Ian?

      I sometimes feel embarrassed that my body is ageing. But there is nothing we can do apart from try to keep fit and keep the pounds from piling on (and I fight a real battle with my 'middle'!) There's one thing, and that is that no matter where they are age-wise, everyone is rowing the same canoe! At least because Starman is only a year older than me his body is ageing at the same rate. And I suppose we are comfortable with our other halves, and love their bodies anyway, so we hope they continue to love ours.

      The not wearing a nighty thing is still strange though. I keep a robe by the bed just in case I have to leap out for any reason in the middle of the night! We were once caught in a hotel (years ago) in a fire alarm situation and had to stand on the street till the fire engines arrived and we were only in our night attire. I've never forgotten that little episode! Not only was it cold, but everyone kept their eyes averted or looking downwards, because some of our nighties were very skimpy! I can look back and laugh, but it wasn't so funny at the time.

      So slowly is definitely good I think, even though at times frustrating.

      Hugs Lillie, Ami

  5. Lol Ami, the friend taking 50 shades to book club cracked me up too.

    Sounds like a lovely visit to 'The Shires". Wow, he watched you? aren't you glad you did what he asked? Good on you.

    Better watch out Ami, sounds like you have a fully fledged HoH on your hands lol. Seriously, it sounds like you two are doing great, and growing.

    Be careful what you wish for with the silent implements. The definitely pack the biggest ouch!


    1. Yes Roz, not a situation to be repeated I think. Hindsight is a wonderful thing!

      I do so enjoy listening to all you 'experienced people'! You keep me grounded and for me, it is so good to have such good friends, because at times it feels very 'isolating' doesn't it? And I have a tendency to be uncertain because I keep thinking to myself, 'Well I brought all this to him in the first place!' I thinks he's doing very well in reality. At least we are talking about TTWD quote comfortably now, and I can air my worried and concerns, and he can do the same.

      So what are all these'silent implements' then? You obviously all have tried them or you wouldn't be telling me to be careful with them! I've been all round the kitchen and everything there is very noisy. I don't possess a hairbrush. The pink leather paddle is probably the noisiest of them all with the ruler a close second (but that's a killer and one stroke was enough!). The only thing we have that I can think of is a couple of willow trees. But I honestly don't have the nerve yet for anything 'swishy'. Has anyone else tried switches? They sound horrid. Are they noisy? Is that what you are all trying to tell me? Well, I'm a coward, so I think I'll pass on those at the moment unless forced down that route. And I think I wouldn't dare suggest using a belt. And wouldn't that be fairly noisy too? And how would you hold it so it didn't wrap around and get the bits you didn't want to aim for?! (I'm beginning to giggle now as I have a great imagination and sense of humour) It's a good job we girls are not meeting up, because I could probably cause a great many repercussions! Trouble just seems to seek me out at times! (In the nicest way of course!) (Giggling more and more)

      Hugs Roz, Ami

  6. Hello Ami & Starman,
    Nice to read that you had such a nice get-away in the Shires! You two seem to be growing and learning more about your DD dynamic everyday :)

    1. Yes, we hobbits are okay at the moment. But I still have my moments, which I am trying to work on, and I just wish we had started all this years ago. The differences are small, but are gradually taking effect. I'm still finding it hard.

      Hugs, Ami

  7. Yay!!!!!!!! I'm so happy for both of you! :)

    And definitely laughing at the friend and 50 shades lol. :)

    1. Thanks Elle. It's coming slowly. It's like my blogsite - it's taking a long time in the making!

      A sense of humour is very definitely a bit MUST!

      Hugs, Ami

  8. Sounds like you had a lovely holiday Ami and things are looking up for you two...
    Good luck in your search for something "quiet":)

    1. We really did, Bea. I think the only quiet thing I'll get around here for a very long time will be a "Talking to" !!!

      Hugs, Ami

  9. Ami I am so happy you two connected over your holiday. Moving forward is a wonderful thing. Its important to us newbies that our HOH notice these small little things it motivates us to want more. I wish you continued success. Hugs

    1. Hello Cathie, These small things are very important! We need to know our efforts are noticed. Very much so! For me, personally, "kind strokes" are much more motivating than "strokes of the ouchy variety"! Hugs, Ami

  10. I'm with Dana and sunnygirl, the quiet ones...well,just be very careful what you ask for O_o As Lillie said, there are a few ways that I saw his Dominance in your post, all quite yummy :) I very much enjoy the feeling of Ward's control.


    1. You know June, I was always one to live dangerously. No doubt one day I will get my comeuppance and then you can all have a good laugh! You more experienced people can see what I don't. I'm still in the 'hindsight' phase! I still need to know and read about you getting similar little "tests" as it makes me feel more 'normal'. Hugs, Ami

  11. Lots of bright sparkles in this post Ami. Happy for you!


    1. Thanks Willie. It's still very difficult though. I think I've read too many stories! In life, it's sometimes better to move at a slower pace as you "see more". Hugs, Ami

    2. That is a good thing to remember. Not as easy as it sounds though is it?

    3. No you're dead right. I just want to pretend we are several years along and as knowledgeable as the ones who've been doing TTWD for years! As I said, Bull at a Gate, that's me! I'm sure Mr BB above thinks I'm nuts. He sends me lovely emails to calm me down and slow me down. Mick is the same. It's so good for me to be shown a man's viewpoint. You know, Willie, if I was half my age I think I might become guilty of "bratting"! But I now understand how stupid that would be. It would create an entirely false situation. Far better to go easy and see what happens. We can have lots of 'fun' spankings on the way without any of the distress or upset of the other kind. And they can hurt just as much as we want them to if that is what it takes. And likewise with a 're-set'. Or a 'stress-buster'. Or a 're-adjustment'. The communication is the very most important thing. Lots of "Heartsong". (the name of my book be the way, written 2009 before I'd ever heard the word 'spanking'!) Sorry, I'm ranting. I'll go have a gin! Bye for now! Hugs, Ami

  12. This post left me smiling and feeling happy for you. It sounds like it was a lovely little get away. :)

    1. It was great while it lasted Grace, but now things seem to be pretty much back to normal. I'm still the bear with the "itchy" skin! If, and when, we finally get a chance to reinstate our "re-adjustment", I think I'll hang flags from the Moon!!

      Hugs, Ami